When asked to do a favor..

[dlundblad]

A recent experience has me troubled. Since I posted this thread, you can imagine how it went.

Do you drop what you’re doing regardless of time or how busy you are, or do you offer to help at your earliest convenience?

How would you react if the latter isn’t acceptable to them? How would you react if you offered to do it a way you feel would be the easiest and quickest for you with the same end result, but they want it done their way?

 

[Astro14]

Then, I would say you’re in the unenviable position of being asked to do a favor by a selfish jerk.

 

[Barkleymut]

Depends on who it is. For Mom, yeah i would do it her way, for a coworker or casual friend, no way im doing extra work to do it their way.

 

[Jetronic]

if they can't wait until I can do it, it's not a favour but a command.

That said, if they have ever done you a favour or are likely to do one for you in future it could be the right thing to do what they want. But since you have to ask I'm guessing this isn't the case

 

[Zee09]

Happened to me many times.
I am the guy who helps everyone only to have no one to call when I need a hand.
What Astro said.
Put your foot down now.

 

[BISCUT]

Sorry pal, I'm not the guy that's able to help you with this. Good luck with the next guy!

 

[aquariuscsm]

I never open that can of worms. You give an inch,they take a mile. Let them find another doormat-chump. And then there are the fair-weather friends. They're only your "friend" when they need something. Any other time, you're nonexistent.

 

[doitmyself]

As always, it depends. If it is a really good, trusted friend and the request is legitimately urgent, then yes I accommodate them. All other situations are on a one-by-one decision.

 

[dlundblad]

Depends on who it is. For Mom, yeah i would do it her way, for a coworker or casual friend, no way im doing extra work to do it their way.

Well said. I agree 100%.

 

[vwmaniaman]

I rarely get asked anymore since I have had hernias in my chest wall and Doc says not even a gas can with over 2.5 gallons. That is pretty limiting.

 

[vwmaniaman]

Now I am the one asking my son for help.

 

[DriveHard]

for family, drop what I am doing and help...for a friend, it happens on my schedule.

 

[dadto2]

I had a neighbor who would call me as soon as he saw me pull in the driveway and unload my (at the time) toddlers. Always needed something done, and it was always immediatly. (replace a light fixture in his basement, reload his email on his PC, nothing truely urgent) Once, then I was replacing brake lines on my car, he walked over and talked to my feet which were sticking out from under the car. Of course, he wanted that favor right then and there. That time I told him that I'll be free next week on Wednesday night. He called a handyman rather than wait that time.

 

[Pablo]

Bury a body?

No way!

 

[SatinSilver]

Well said. I agree 100%.

Can you give us any more details on the situation?

 

[AutoMechanic]

I always help people it’s just who I am but yes there is always that stubborn one who wants to do it their way or won’t listen to your suggestions. Even after you do it at a time convenient for them. Like I have this guy who is a truck driving friend of my dads and also owns a truck well I was changing the oil and I put some oil on the seal of the filter and he about went off and screamed to only use grease on the filter seal so it wouldn’t dry out so I had to go buy him another $25 oil filter I was so angry. Then we were doing some exhaust work and I said let’s put some anti seize on these bolts so they don’t break off next time like they did here... no I don’t want them to vibrate loose, then we had to take them off about a year later to patch the exhaust and I snapped everyone of them. And I was trying to show him how to drill out a bolt that broke and he wouldn’t learn that either he wanted to use the biggest drill bit that was the same size as the bolt I’m like that’s not how it’s done start small and work your way up but nope. He also wouldn’t use any type of cutting or lubricating oil so it was squeaking like nobody’s business. I still do work for him but I don’t offer any advice or suggestions anymore.

 

[AZjeff]

I am the guy who helps everyone only to have no one to call when I need a hand.

If you do someone a favor and they don't reciprocate when asked then maybe you're busy the next time.

Being asked to do a favor and volunteering to do a favor are worlds apart. When you volunteer to help don't expect it to come back.

 

[1978elcamino]

Depends on what it is. I never help others fight their own battles.

 

[Zee09]

If you do someone a favor and they don't reciprocate when asked then maybe you're busy the next time.

Being asked to do a favor and volunteering to do a favor are worlds apart. When you volunteer to help don't expect it to come back.

I have been very busy these days,

 

[tyman]

Depends on the favor, depends on the person, depends on my schedule.