Neighbors - I Don't Understand

[Pop_Rivit]

Originally Posted By: larryinnewyork

If any of you folks have neighbors who look out for one another, APPRECIATE IT.


The more I hear of other areas, especially some of the inner city neighborhoods, the more I appreciate living in rural Iowa. All of the folks around here know each other and help out when needed. Before she left for college, the neighbor girl house sat and cared for our dogs when we went on vacation. Now that she's gone to college, her younger sister will do the same.

It's not uncommon to be working out in the shop with the doors open and have one of the neighbors drive past, and pull in the driveway. It might be for a favor, or just to kill some time talking about local politics. I've done the same thing when driving past their homes.

We frequently have neighbors (often several at a time) over for dinner and they often reciprocate. Granted, the closest neighbor is almost a quarter mile down the road, but the distance shouldn't be that much of a factor.

 

[MacWest]

I had a old lady in her 90s try to poison my German Shepard.She was throwing peanut butter covered moth balls in my yard. And the dog was [censored] out moth balls until I put up a security camera and told her son.

 

[shiny]

I grew up in a neighborly neighborhood. They're mostly a thing of the past now. Same with apartment buildings. People can live in an apartment for years and never get to know their neighbors. I suspect that as the internet and cellphones has made it cheaper and easier to communication with friends and families over long distances, people feel connected without having to relate to their neighbors. Ride a city bus sometime. People used to talk to each other but now they only look at their phones.

Mobile home communities are different, though. They still have that old-fashioned neighborhood feeling where everybody knows their neighbors. In good MH communities people keep an eye on each other's houses and help each other out.

 

[ToadU]

Hey Pop, since this is the off topic forum......and not getting specific per the rules......but is the Caucus in Iowa really a state-wide mega event? For everyone? I've always wanted to come to the fair and eat the weird but goodness that comes on a stick. (Mods I hope this is ok...not specific politics just the process and food )

 

[sleddriver]

Gee Larry, it'd be great having you as a neighbor! I grew up in a similar neighborhood to yours it sounds like. However, the one I'm in is quite a bit more stand-off-ish and contains "users", i.e. "purple people eaters."

Most keep to themselves or perhaps I'm not included...that is until something needs fixing or a cat is stuck in the gutter. I think it's a combination of "the age", the number of people moving here, the 60's crowd now facing their 70's, and others. The world is indeed a different place. Far more divided...

I hear you're disappointed, confused and a bit hurt. Got your feelings stepped on by being abandoned with no appreciation for your efforts and no good-bye. Sounds like a one-way exchange.

Perhaps reevaluating the "friendship" after a few exchanges is a good idea, rather than going all in and continuing to be disappointed? IOW, self-protect.

"Hope is a Tease Designed to Protect Us from Accepting Reality."

"Harsh Reality is Always Better Than False Hope."

 

[yeti]

Originally Posted By: Rolla07
Having just bought a house 6 months ago I realize most neighbours just keep to themselves. Im lucky not to have any bad neighbours but none are like you. Would be nice to have someone like you. I believe in karma, dogood because it makes you feel good..sometimes others seem to have a hard time returning the positive gesture..even if its only a "thank you."


this.
comments posted that these type of people suck, and are p'sos ,are funny.
rollo's comment "most neighbors just keep to themselves", is very common, and likely the case here, from the details given.but, no, it can't be that. there's no drama in that.
maybe, our resident conspiracy theorist will chime in, and state that they must have a grow op, or a meth lab.i hope the he chimes in, as we all could use a laugh.

 

[aquariuscsm]

I grew up in the 70s (born in 69). Our parents were always friends with everyone on the street. We were friends with all the other kids on the street,and all of the parents were friends with each other. There was always a "Gladys Kravitz" nosey type on the street who was always into everyone's business. We'd all always end up at on of the kids' houses to play for the day,then we'd migrate to one of the other's. No one's parents allowed us to play inside (including my own) so we were always outside. If we tried to go inside they'd chase out out haha.

My grandparents were the same way. They were best friends with both their next door neighbors. My mom and her brother grew up with their kids. Everyone on the street was friends. They'd all get together at evening time and go for a walk,then end up in one of their backyards and either eat watermelon or make homemade ice cream (during the summer)

Society has changed for the worse imo.

I put the blame on corporate greed. Fathers used to work 9-5 m-f,jobs paid well,had incredible benefits,and moms stayed home to raise the family. Stay at home moms had to eventually go back to work,fathers began to work grueling hours,benefits were slowly taken away,families broke up and became dysfunctional,and everyone's parents seemed to divorce.

 

[Doog]

Originally Posted By: larryinnewyork

Now the confusion, they moved away last Week,,, and never said, "good-bye".



Maybe they were mafia assassins who were ratting out the big crime bosses in NY and they were in the witness protection program and you were getting "too close" so the FBI moved them to Arizona for their own safety.

 

[GiveMeAVowel]

OP needs to realize that in today's America those are actually decent neighbors, as they didn't bother you in any way.

Believe me when I say that he Larry doesn't begin to know what
BAD neighbors are.

I lived next to some real ARSEholes, noisy, causing disturbances at all hours, for days on end, months on end..having the police in their driveway just about every week arresting people, trespassers, their "cohorts" in crime threatening me as well.

 

[yeti]

Originally Posted By: Doog
Originally Posted By: larryinnewyork

Now the confusion, they moved away last Week,,, and never said, "good-bye".



Maybe they were mafia assassins who were ratting out the big crime bosses in NY and they were in the witness protection program and you were getting "too close" so the FBI moved them to Arizona for their own safety.

this makes more sense than a grow op, or meth lab -- because, now, there's drama.

antique just commented that these are "decent neighbors". he's right.
I have a couple of neighbors like this around both houses, and they are great. you don't even know that they are there.no noise -- they don't bother anybody -- excellent neighbors.
blend that in with a few that I hang around with (having a few pops, a cigar, maybe watching a ball game, put some food on the q ), and you have a good mix.

O.T.--whatever happened to the member who had a wacko neighbor, that put fake monkeys in his tree ?

 

[GiveMeAVowel]

Originally Posted By: yeti


O.T.--whatever happened to the member who had a wacko neighbor, that put fake monkeys in his tree ?


Yes, we never got a follow up.

 

[sciphi]

None of my neighbors talked to me until we got a now decent size dog a year after we moved into our house. Then we got to know the other dog owners. The folks who are descended from more recent immigrants don't much care for dogs, and don't talk with us much, even when the dog is inside.

Our next door neighbors are pretty polite folks. They generally want to be left alone, although if either one of us is outside struggling with yardwork the assistance is reciprocal.

 

[Doog]

I only buy houses that are on a corner lot where the garage faces the blank side of the neighbors house or the corner.

That way I avoid constantly being face to face with my next door neighbor in case he is an ahole. If he is a nice guy I can always walk over.

 

[AZjeff]

Do good deeds with no expectations, just because it's the right moral thing to do. Anonymous acts of kindness held in private are our finest works.

It seems you've kept a list of the good deeds done over 10 years that have gone unacknowledged by your neighbors. We all tend to judge others by our own values and beliefs, that doesn't always work out to our expectations. Try to allow the fact that you did good by your neighbors be enough.

 

[Delta]

My current neighborhood is mostly older retired or older working class people, I'm the youngest in the neighborhood at 26. They probably thought I'd be staying out late playing loud music in the garage. Truth be told I'm inside by 7 and to bed by 9 most evenings, lol. I like my peace and quiet and I assume they do too. Never have heard from them since I moved here in December. Couple weeks ago we had a pretty bad wind and one of my trees that's pretty much on the property line dropped alot of branches. I picked them up off the neighbors yard and put them on my burn pile. Last Saturday with the big snowstorm we got I had to cut my snowblowing short to go to work (had to hitch a ride) Came back home at around 11pm to see my driveway plowed shut except for one spot for me to walk through to my driveway that was snowblowed through the mound. I can only assume the same neighbor did it. Everybody had their own snowblower or plow, that was certainly interesting.

My previous neighborhood was nice, but twords the end the neighbor would get drunk and started playing his music on level 11 late pretty much every night. Kinda irritating since most mornings I had to be up by 0300 or 0400 for work. I couldn't say nothing to the guy because if I was out of town and he was mowing his grass he'd take care of it for me.

 

[Andrew1972]

Remember the nutty guy on this board who drove his nuttier neighbor by insisting on running lights all night at his house.

Love thy neighbor...

 

[JHZR2]

Some folks are just rude, overwhelmed, or dont understand being friendly. I travel a LOT all over the country, and have met some of the friendliest folks in places you wouldnt expect it, while others are not friendly when you'd think that they would be based upon locality/type of area.

Its tough to bin everyone/everywhere.

I have a relative who moved to the deep south and had a tough time with "compartmentalized" people who werent friendly or outgoing at all.

When I lived in AL, everyone was wonderful.

We live in a wonderful community where people get along, help each other, etc. When we first moved in, the neighbors would invite us over for dinner at least once a week! Everyone still gets together. People help each other. If youre doing something and someone else sees it and knows something or has something to offer, they do.

I guess thats what I grew up knowing and now live in. Its why I choose to live in "inner ring" suburbs (say 5-10mi from city limits), where everyone has their own life yet nobody is too much on top of one another nor too spread out. We can walk around, see people, be friendly (as everyone else does) yet go home and have plenty of privacy.

These sorts of dynamics occur all over in all sorts of situations... neighborhood, office, etc.

 

[Mr Nice]

Neighbors mind their own business in today's times.

 

[linkbelt]

Originally Posted By: Astro14
Is their house for sale?

Because I sure would like to have neighbors like you!

Ditto. If you decide to move to Tn., call me, I might just find you a house! LOL

 

[2002 Maxima SE]

Wow. This all hits home. I'm 40 and have lived with my wife and two kids in the same neighborhood for 13 years. We're very fortunate in that the neighbors on either side and across the street are great. They are all 10 years older than us. A few years ago, the neighbor's husband next door died. We all went to the funeral. I help her as best I can, shovel the drive/walkway, take in the trash if she's away, pick up the paper and my wife checks on her from time to time. She's become a bit reclusive, but we all check in and chip in from time to time.

The neighbors are all great. We get together at Christmas and have dinner occasionally (a couple times a year but less so since we had kids). They completely understand us (new family) and we get them (empty nesters). If we don't see each other for months (winter), no one gets bent out of shape. Like I say, everyone is great.

Now, other than them...it's a totally different story. Everyone else on the street that is our age (30/40) with kids our age do not speak to us. They have entitled attitudes and we've learned to keep to ourselves. They gossip, refuse to wave (unless the right people are around), do not interact their kids with ours (they arrange play dates out of the neighborhood). In fact, not many of the kids on our street interact. When I was growing up, we all played with the kids on our street...even if we didn't really like them. We were kids! We played! Not so on this street. The parents are too busy trying to one up each other with stuff or organizations. It's odd.

We only stay because we really like the neighbors. Sorry to pile on. I'm just trying to communicate that I can totally relate. Spend time and energy on those that appreciate it...don't waste time with those that do not.