From a single dude like myself... I can only look ahead to the horrors that will come. There has to be some advantages tho otherwise people wouldn't keep getting married!
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From a single dude like myself... I can only look ahead to the horrors that will come. There has to be some advantages tho otherwise people wouldn't keep getting married!
Advantages: Filing jointly. Um....well, that's it actually.
People keep getting married because women continue to demand it from men. No more free milk without a diamond. Gee, what a tradeoff.
My co-worker just went through one of the nastiest divorces I've ever witnessed and she's still putting up with his endless sh*t, and will continue to until their 3 year old turns 18. Now there's something to look forward to. Trust is earned, and it needs to be complete. Without it, you have nothing but a roommate situation with benefits. When the benefits slow down, what's left?
People keep getting married because women continue to demand it from men. No more free milk without a diamond. Gee, what a tradeoff.
My co-worker just went through one of the nastiest divorces I've ever witnessed and she's still putting up with his endless sh*t, and will continue to until their 3 year old turns 18. Now there's something to look forward to. Trust is earned, and it needs to be complete. Without it, you have nothing but a roommate situation with benefits. When the benefits slow down, what's left?
Ah the pain of secrets. I just read through the first page and it reminded me so much of my first relationship. It's one thing to have someone tell you that you're stupid, but to say it behind your back hurts so much more. The only thing I can think of is maybe she's more of the gossip type and says things before thinking a bit, maybe to get a more interesting conversation from her peers, or maybe lacks acceptance with them.
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Let's not get too dark side on him here.
It's not like he's James Spader in Dream Lover ...or is he (cue dramatic music
)??
It's not like he's James Spader in Dream Lover ...or is he (cue dramatic music
Call her what you like...she's 2-faced to a man she professed to love in front of all their family and friends. Trust is in serious jeopardy in this relationship (IMO - if it were me). Won't you always look at her and wonder what she's really thinking, or what she's been saying about you this week? I sure would.
Both sexes love to tell a good story (read: exaggerate like the dickens), but we differ on subject material.
Men:
fishing trips
backwoods dirtbike jumping
getting into a bar fight with two Czech bodybuilders
home improvement horrors
Women:
office politics
difficulty of buying a new purse
traffic
complaints about family, including ---- husband
Don't worry, none of that stuff really means anything any more than you really caught a 36 pound muskie at Lake Erie last year...with 15 lb test...and a worm on a hook...from a set that your dad gave you...
Men:
fishing trips
backwoods dirtbike jumping
getting into a bar fight with two Czech bodybuilders
home improvement horrors
Women:
office politics
difficulty of buying a new purse
traffic
complaints about family, including ---- husband
Don't worry, none of that stuff really means anything any more than you really caught a 36 pound muskie at Lake Erie last year...with 15 lb test...and a worm on a hook...from a set that your dad gave you...
My wife says way worse stuff than that to my face. As far as she's concerned, only being an idiot "sometimes" would probably be a big improvement for me.
This reminds me of the old adage that you have to be careful what you ask for, or you may get it. You wanted some dirt - now you've got it.
I wish you good luck as it is very difficult to unring a bell.
This reminds me of the old adage that you have to be careful what you ask for, or you may get it. You wanted some dirt - now you've got it.
I wish you good luck as it is very difficult to unring a bell.
I don't believe she's two faced, I believe she's trying to make the best marriage possible, even if life's variables, in her opinion, suck. There's no sense in bringing the baggage of her opinion of family matters to the family (the spouse) especially when he'll remember those comments for ever & ever. A pressure-relief valve releases steam and allows one to see clearly.
I believe THAT'S what's going on.
Since there's no cheating going on, it's safe to assume this woman is attempting to NOT put her man in harm's way. I applaud her.
Give her a big kiss tonight and tell that you love her. That will take care of all this!
I believe THAT'S what's going on.
Since there's no cheating going on, it's safe to assume this woman is attempting to NOT put her man in harm's way. I applaud her.
Give her a big kiss tonight and tell that you love her. That will take care of all this!
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He just needs to get the riding crop out of mothballs.
A few trips to lala-land will tranquilize all of these anxieties. The effects wear off ..and it's a chore sometimes ..but is necessary at times.
A few trips to lala-land will tranquilize all of these anxieties. The effects wear off ..and it's a chore sometimes ..but is necessary at times.
You have to be careful with inlaws. Especially sisters of your wife. Some will try to undermine the marriage. Had that problem with my wife's sisters in our first year. Finally sat her down and asked her, where do you want to live, with your family or with me? Decide now because that is where you will be for the rest of your life. We said a lot of things that night, but that was the important question. 40 years later, we're still together.
Oh come on!
He's only been married for 7 years. He's still a newly wed. Everyone is a little insecure during the early years.
Wait till he's been married for 25 + years. Then he'll be hoping the old gal does move on (I'm joking of course just in case the wife reads this).
I'm sure I complain more about my wife than she does of me. But we are still joined at the hip.
Find out what's in the rest of those mails and make up your own mind.
He's been married less than two years!
Hey guys-
How funny...My husband left this up so I thought I would check and see what occupies his time in the evening while I get our son ready for bed. Ironic that it would be this,huh? First of all, in case any of you would like a woman's perspective we all gripe and complain. It's in our genetics, it's what we do and if you don't want to listen to it night and day then you should be thankful we have friends to gripe to. Secondly, in reference to the in-laws, do you want to hear us go on and on about how your sisters aren't liked, to your face? So, out of consideration for you we discuss things with friends. Not trying to hide anything just trying to keep peace (or our sanity, which ever you prefer). What all you guys don't realize is you have discussed how the wife has been back stabbing and this guy can't trust her but you have all done the same things to your wives by responding and "getting on the band wagon" in bashing her. He has just done to her what you all thought was so terribly WRONG of her to do to him.
How funny...My husband left this up so I thought I would check and see what occupies his time in the evening while I get our son ready for bed. Ironic that it would be this,huh? First of all, in case any of you would like a woman's perspective we all gripe and complain. It's in our genetics, it's what we do and if you don't want to listen to it night and day then you should be thankful we have friends to gripe to. Secondly, in reference to the in-laws, do you want to hear us go on and on about how your sisters aren't liked, to your face? So, out of consideration for you we discuss things with friends. Not trying to hide anything just trying to keep peace (or our sanity, which ever you prefer). What all you guys don't realize is you have discussed how the wife has been back stabbing and this guy can't trust her but you have all done the same things to your wives by responding and "getting on the band wagon" in bashing her. He has just done to her what you all thought was so terribly WRONG of her to do to him.
One word: oil.
This topic is a rare thing around here!
As one who found much worse in the e-mail, and ended up divorced over it, I can tell you that secrets, no matter how innocent can erode a marriage.
If your wife cannot or will not tell you about such trivial things to your face, then what happens if there is a serious problem?
I disagree with the woman who says this is no big deal, this is a very big deal.
Many women speak about wanting intimacy with their husbands, but then many of those same women (I'm not saying all, but probably more do than don't) share things with their friends that they cannot or will not share with their husbands.
Then they complain that they cannot share with their husbands.
Once anyone, man or woman, starts down that path of being able to complain about you to others, but not to you, your marriage is headed for trouble.
That means that either she doesn't think you will listen or take her seriously, or she has just given up, or she doesn't realize who damaging to a relationship such behind the back complaints can be to a relationship.
Personally, while I don't think it means your marriage is on life support, it's a wound that if not properly treated could become infected and seriously damage if not kill your marriage if the trend does not change.
If your wife cannot or will not tell you about such trivial things to your face, then what happens if there is a serious problem?
I disagree with the woman who says this is no big deal, this is a very big deal.
Many women speak about wanting intimacy with their husbands, but then many of those same women (I'm not saying all, but probably more do than don't) share things with their friends that they cannot or will not share with their husbands.
Then they complain that they cannot share with their husbands.
Once anyone, man or woman, starts down that path of being able to complain about you to others, but not to you, your marriage is headed for trouble.
That means that either she doesn't think you will listen or take her seriously, or she has just given up, or she doesn't realize who damaging to a relationship such behind the back complaints can be to a relationship.
Personally, while I don't think it means your marriage is on life support, it's a wound that if not properly treated could become infected and seriously damage if not kill your marriage if the trend does not change.
Been married 21 years to a GREAT woman. I know at times she has blown off steam in woman to woman talks with her friends/sisters. Really glad she got it out of her system without cutting me to ribbons! That only happens when she's really hurt. Most of us blunder into situations that another guy would tell us to pizz off about and never give a second thought. But men and women DO have different sets of wiring, for wich I'm FOREVERMORE glad. Not a s. o. b. on this board I'd care to snuggle up to!!!
Bob
Bob
I had a conversation with my wife about this thread and we discussed how "we" speak about each other to our friends and family. I would never call my wife "stupid". She wouldn't speak the same about me. That is just plain disrespectful, period. If I do something which isn't smart, I am not "stupid", I DID something stupid. Same with her. If she needs to vent, then vent. No big deal. It really isn't. IMHO, the OP shouldn't have snooped and then posted about it.
What if the OP's wife has friends at work/school that reads this stuff and can figure out who this is? I have a friend at work who's daughters boyfriend reads this page that was a big surprise to me. You never know who is on the website. I think its more popular than we might think.
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