Wife is getting pooped on at her toxic workplace.

[Thermo1223]

My wife took a somewhat promotion to clinical coordinator from just being a regular nurse in a peds office. She was a shoe in based on her experience & work ethic. Her previous boss(practice manager?) never trained her in the various aspects of that job so when that boss left and another stepped in. Day one she just (edit- MOD) all over her then realized it wasn't 100% her fault and they both stepped back. Wife is not new to being a nurse since she is on year 17 of her career but she takes things in stride. Then they had an outside consultant or something along those lines come in to "streamline" the practice.

Whatever changes were being made upset a fair amount of people and the staff in one office quit. So she was told she need to go to that location and room patients instead of doing her job. In fact she has been been doing that more often than not due to call offs as of late anyway. She was told that she just had to "suck it up" and "be a team player". They also wanted her to work for free after hours & on the weekends if need be. She is salary so that is a non starter to me plus that is not compatible with our home life.

Her boss noted that in her file as an excuse and also not being a team player. She is feeling burnt out like nothing she is doing is right. They had a meeting today about her performance where she was not allowed to speak or in anyway defend herself because again it was just an excuse. All the staff and providers are complaining about her apparently but never brought any concerns to her directly.

So I'm the husband looking in and wanting to be on her side and I will admit if she was wrong but to me it just looks like they want a scapegoat for something and are setting her up for failure. COVID was hell and she has had to constantly deal with being berated by parents but pushed through anyway to now arrive at this during Nurses Week no less.

 

[edyvw]

People are quitting this face-to-face part of the medical field bcs. patients who learned medical skills on Facebook. My wife is in the medical field but on the billing side. She sees this patient's side thru her friends, and it is absolutely astonishing what they are going thru.

 

[Oillover]

I thought this week was National Pet Week

Aside from that, I think your wife just needs to vent.
That's what I noticed with my partner when she had workplace issues as well.
When i tried to give her guidance as to steps she should take to make a change in career, it didn't end well.

In the meantime, support her and let her know you are there to assist her with any changes she might need to implement (career/workplace change etc.)

 

[racer12306]

I think this is something that many employers are currently getting called out on.

The "working for free" aspect is dicey because it depends on if she is exempt or non-exempt, as far as what the expectations are of the role. Generally management is exempt and not held to overtime laws, etc.

In my opinion, if the company has it out for her, she's not likely to win and if she does, that doesn't mean it's going to be a great experience after the win.

 

[UG_Passat]

Time to search for a new job. Also, HR can be or friend or enemy. Was HR present during the berating? If not she needs to get HR involved.

She can always try the VA in Allentown

Registered Nurse-Allentown Outpatient Clinic Pain Care Manager

The Wilkes-Barre VA Medical Center is currently recruiting for a Registered Nurse-Allentown Outpatient Clinic Pain Care Manager for the Allentown Outpatient Clinic. This position reports to the Allentown Nurse Manager.<br> <br>

www.usajobs.gov

 

[The Critic]

Whatever changes were being made upset a fair amount of people and the staff in one office quit. So she was told she need to go to that location and room patients instead of doing her job. In fact she has been been doing that more often than not due to call offs as of late anyway. She was told that she just had to "suck it up" and "be a team player". They also wanted her to work for free after hours & on the weekends if need be. She is salary so that is a non starter to me plus that is not compatible with our home life.

Her boss noted that in her file as an excuse and also not being a team player. She is feeling burnt out like nothing she is doing is right. They had a meeting today about her performance where she was not allowed to speak or in anyway defend herself because again it was just an excuse. All the staff and providers are complaining about her apparently but never brought any concerns to her directly.

Unfortunately, being flexible with responsibilities and being available are fundamentals to being in a position of leadership. It is very normal, in many industries, for the role to continually evolve. If she is unwilling to adapt and is only interested in performing the minimum, then this type of salaried role may not be for her. I have found that many nurses have an "hourly mentality" where they want to be totally absent once they leave work, but this is far from the reality for most salaried roles; it is an adjustment that she will have to accept.

 

[racer12306]

In the meantime, support her and let her know you are there to assist her with any changes she might need to implement (carreer/workplace change etc.)

This x 10000

 

[John105]

Thoughts in trying to be objective.

Would it be easy for her to find a new job, I thought nurses were in really high demand?

If not, would she consider something new?

My wife was in a similar situation right before our son was born in 2013.

She got a voicemail, not congrats on your son, but when are you going to be coming back? Thought it was last week? (never so much as heard from them while she was on maternity leave).

She decided to lodge her complaint with HR (about her hostile workplace up until maternity leave), which she expected would do nothing, but why not get it on paper (the employer is too busy to this day looking to see what baseball or football stadiums they can have naming rights to). Then, after confirming that not returning has no bearing on eligibility to be rehired nationwide, the next time those people called, she said she's not coming back.

Today, my wife works at the school district as a teacher and she loves her job. Yes, pay cut, but she literally loves her job. When she tells me another parent sent another gift card and says they appreciate what she's doing, I think man don't I wish the powers that be would think the same of me at my work.

 

[Fla]

It sounds like your wife needs to start looking for a new job. Immediately! There is a lot of demand for nurses and she should be able to easily find a job that treats her better.

It sounds like her current boss is covering his/her ass by making her look incompetent when the real problem is that she is being overworked and in jobs that she's not trained for. She needs to get out, now!

 

[Bottom_Feeder]

Being called 'not a team player' because you aren't volunteering your time to the job is a huge red flag. You would think this boss would self-reflect a little and wonder why everyone left instead of making it the problem of one of the few people who stayed on.

Screw that place. Life is too short for crappy jobs with crappy bosses. Been there for sure.

 

[Astro14]

Leave. This won’t get better.

 

[ragtoplvr]

Document Document document! If the laws in your state permit record conversations.

It is not unheard of for a toxic employer to try to screw up her getting hired at other places.

 

[Hall]

Wife is not new to being a nurse since she is on year 17 of her career

Her employer has some pretty big balls pushing around anyone with a nursing degree + more than a few years of experience. She needs to leave - the sooner the better.

 

[Hall]

It is not unheard of for a toxic employer to try to screw up her getting hired at other places.

They can try but reputations as crappy employers gets around just as much nowadays. She cannot worry about the slim chance of that happening though.

 

[PWMDMD]

Unfortunately, being flexible with responsibilities and being available are fundamentals to being in a position of leadership. It is very normal, in many industries, for the role to continually evolve. If she is unwilling to adapt and is only interested in performing the minimum, then this type of salaried role may not be for her. I have found that many nurses have an "hourly mentality" where they want to be totally absent once they leave work, but this is far from the reality for most salaried roles; it is an adjustment that she will have to accept.

I have 25 employees and everyone is hourly, even the associate dentists and managers. It keeps it simple - if they work they clock in and they get paid. If the manager stays after work to interview someone with me then she gets paid. If someone is out sick and the schedule needs to be adjusted and she signs in from home at 7 am to call the first patients to let them know there will be a change then she gets paid. If that puts her over 40 hours then she gets paid OT. The flip side is also true, if she doesn't work, then she doesn't get paid beyond her sick days and vacation days. This goes for highly compensated associate dentists as well. If they want to see their kids get off the bus at 3 PM on their first day of school, ok, but now there's an empty chair for an hour and that's going to cost them a couple hundred bucks.

 

[thastinger]

I would be looking for a new job. Sounds like they plan to terminate her anyways.

 

[Cujet]

If I understand it correctly, it sounds like she needs some real confidence in her abilities and her position, enough to laugh off erroneous criticism. If she is forced to defend herself, the battle is already lost. When one is put on the defensive, only the nuclear option is viable.

I might listen to someone defending themselves, but I can tell you from experience, not a soul listens to me when I am in that position. They DON'T CARE. I've learned to avoid being put on the defensive.

A solid criticism will get an "I'll do that" answer from me. And they know I will. Anything else gets ignored.

 

[PWMDMD]

OP...sounds like she should leave. Life is too short to deal with that kind of nonsense and especially in this environment where nearly every business in health care is looking for employees.

 

[The Critic]

I have 25 employees and everyone is hourly, even the associate dentists and managers. It keeps it simple - if they work they clock in and they get paid. If the manager stays after work to interview someone with me then she gets paid. If someone is out sick and the schedule needs to be adjusted and she signs in from home at 7 am to call the first patients to let them know there will be a change then she gets paid. If that puts her over 40 hours then she gets paid OT. The flip side is also true, if she doesn't work, then she doesn't get paid beyond her sick days and vacation days. This goes for highly compensated associate dentists as well. If they want to see their kids get off the bus at 3 PM on their first day of school, ok, but now there's an empty chair for an hour and that's going to cost them a couple hundred bucks.

Labor laws can get tricky - and can sometimes vary by state....and are probably beyond the scope of this thread. Exempt vs. non-exempt, qualifying for overtime vs. not.

Regardless, it sounds like the OP's wife is not fitting into this role and there is probably a mismatch of expectations on both sides. It doesn't sound like it is entirely the employer's fault here, either.

 

[racer12306]

I have 25 employees and everyone is hourly, even the associate dentists and managers. It keeps it simple - if they work they clock in and they get paid. If the manager stays after work to interview someone with me then she gets paid. If someone is out sick and the schedule needs to be adjusted and she signs in from home at 7 am to call the first patients to let them know there will be a change then she gets paid. If that puts her over 40 hours then she gets paid OT. The flip side is also true, if she doesn't work, then she doesn't get paid beyond her sick days and vacation days. This goes for highly compensated associate dentists as well. If they want to see their kids get off the bus at 3 PM on their first day of school, ok, but now there's an empty chair for an hour and that's going to cost them a couple hundred bucks.

While I agree with your philosophy, if you're working you're getting paid....


Not many companies agree with us. The larger the organization, the more they take full advantage of the laws, such as rating employees as exempt or changing the way that overtime is calculated (more than 40 hours per week or 8 hours per day). I worked at a place to where you had to actually work more than 40 hours in a week. You couldn't take 8 hours sick or vacation pay on Monday and log 48 hours on the week and expect OT pay for the 8 hours over 40.