Owen Lucas
$100 Site Donor 2023
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Nursing skills are heavily in demand. Throwing her administrative skills on top of this she is highly employable. Get those resumes out.
Wife is getting pooped on at her toxic workplace.
- Thread starter Thermo1223
- Start date
Her work is not only trying to fire her but they could try to sully her license.
If she keeps a time card, she should keep an honest one while looking to leave. My MIL was an RN for years and was guilted into working for free after her shift so she could finish her charting paperwork. She spent her time on the clock, on the floor. OP's wife is absolutely misclassified as exempt but it depends on your state's enforcement of labor laws if she'll ever see anything out of that.
Honestly she should look for union work-- Imagine the mental load that would be lifted knowing there's an organization that's got her back.
If she keeps a time card, she should keep an honest one while looking to leave. My MIL was an RN for years and was guilted into working for free after her shift so she could finish her charting paperwork. She spent her time on the clock, on the floor. OP's wife is absolutely misclassified as exempt but it depends on your state's enforcement of labor laws if she'll ever see anything out of that.
Honestly she should look for union work-- Imagine the mental load that would be lifted knowing there's an organization that's got her back.
She needs to get out of that situation. It's not going to get better. She is a nurse. She can get a kob anywhere as they are in short supply. Quality of life is important!
Its not hard to find another Nursing job, so many have left, or turn over is high. Hospitals are even putting out commercial ads, how great the Nurses luv their bosses.
kinda funny actually
I told her that but being with the same employer I guess change is giving her anxiety. She is dual licensed in PA & NJ and we are 2 mins from NJ.HCA is well known for this and their Star RN program (StaRN).
Back On Topic:
OP’s wife needs to quit her trash job ASAP !!!!
Not worth the stress, drama, aggravation and unhappiness in this toxic sewer pit.
Its definitely taking a toll on her mental health, Im not kidding.
“ They had a meeting today about her performance where she was not allowed to speak or in anyway defend herself because again it was just an excuse. “
? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Run away as fast as possible, don’t look back. Better yet don’t even show up to work anymore.
No job or career is perfect, but if it’s affecting your mental health and you dread going to work….. it’s time to look for another job.
^^^^ This statement is for everyone on BITOG.
Same goes for an unhappy, loveless terrible marriage, it’s time to leave than continue being miserable.
^^^^ This statement is for everyone on BITOG.
Same goes for an unhappy, loveless terrible marriage, it’s time to leave than continue being miserable.
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2021
- Messages
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Yeah, I'd agree with that last part. At some point in time, maybe something just changes in the workplace. (I feel like I've had that happen at least twice.) It's as if co-workers have a meeting amongst themselves, decision is made to treat employee "differently than they have," that's one of the 4 courses of action to take, "Motivate employee to leave the company." Of course they just can't come out and say that so... average/good/normal performance becomes unacceptable, if write-ups come into play it is the beginning of the end and stuff like that. Good point also about salaried employees. I'm not sure I would ever want to be one unless it was very good, the hours salaried employees work sometimes makes the money not seem worth it ?? At least, I was told by some people in management at companies. Never been there.
I could make the argument that if employees have grievances with a co-worker . It might be part of the procedure to not directly that person. (Kind of like on here? lol.) Rather, they go to supervisors or managers and stuff. So employees that want to make a problem for you.. Will go to their favorite and most favorable higher-up to present a version of events that makes you look bad and may not even be true. This is something that can happen when it could very well be SOP to "not confront the person yourself." Not saying it's right, I would want people to tell me if they have a problem with me... I think the logic is that, if someone does that, employee will snap and physically assault very badly maybe the person doing it, risking all sourts of liability for company and things like that. (This is why they like to fire you by text, phone call, voicemail or e-mail after you punch out like it's a regular day.. in their mind, avoids confrontation.)
Can your wife find a new job?
Definitely proud of my post now x1000 since virtually if not all of my experience with what I talk about is in NYC, NJ and Florida. You may or may not be near Cherry Hill/Camden area, the part that's right by Philly.. maybe Frenchtown area and the free bridge.. I hope your situation has a favorable outcome. NJ sure don't make it easy.
Switching companies isn't easy...
Sounds like a job change is in order - sometimes you just need to move on when things are working out like you want. I know I've done it once.
Careful with the comments regarding salary in your OP and "work for free". This always bothered me when I manged folks, salaried professionals, you are getting paid $X to do Y. There are no hours invovled. The flip side is when you want to bail one day early, come in late, whatever...I never minded b/c the same goes....you did Y so no need to say for a certain amount of hours. When it gets egregious sure, I remember making a low entry-level salary and working crazy hours early in my career and being ticked off about it at times b/c "I wasn't getting paid." I remember a boss once told me...if you want to paid hourly, work at McDonalds ahahahah
Careful with the comments regarding salary in your OP and "work for free". This always bothered me when I manged folks, salaried professionals, you are getting paid $X to do Y. There are no hours invovled. The flip side is when you want to bail one day early, come in late, whatever...I never minded b/c the same goes....you did Y so no need to say for a certain amount of hours. When it gets egregious sure, I remember making a low entry-level salary and working crazy hours early in my career and being ticked off about it at times b/c "I wasn't getting paid." I remember a boss once told me...if you want to paid hourly, work at McDonalds ahahahah
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- Joined
- Feb 22, 2021
- Messages
- 902
I respect the way you want to help your wife but also find out if she is at fault.
If a person is being abused in a toxic workplace , unless you have a good union to protect you , it’s very hard to defend yourself. If you don’t, move on or it will get worse as mentioned.
I had a very unpleasant work situation once that would not have worked out in my favour had I not had a good union. I am not a union fanatic but they are very helpful if you belong to a good one.
Sorry, whenever I hear “ the team” , my eyes roll back and red flags go off.
You can be part of a great team without even having to mention it.
Treating people fairly/being polite just doesn’t come easy to some people, if at all.
If a person is being abused in a toxic workplace , unless you have a good union to protect you , it’s very hard to defend yourself. If you don’t, move on or it will get worse as mentioned.
I had a very unpleasant work situation once that would not have worked out in my favour had I not had a good union. I am not a union fanatic but they are very helpful if you belong to a good one.
Sorry, whenever I hear “ the team” , my eyes roll back and red flags go off.
You can be part of a great team without even having to mention it.
Treating people fairly/being polite just doesn’t come easy to some people, if at all.
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Update;
She got the position in the other office with a salary increase so crisis avoided.
She understood that and stayed late or went in early many times in the past because it would all equal out in the end. Coming in on weekends was the kicker for me. I already work 6 days a week so it would not be compatible with our home life and kids. I get paid OT though and will gladly do it for salary if certain requirements were met.
She's worked for the same health network for 17 years so I know she's not against change but anxious about going completely new. Luckily she will again just make a bit of a lateral move and work from home mostly which to me seems like a plus.
Ya this lady is a manipulator and just flat out lies which the other person in the meeting is keen on now.
She e-mailed that person and stated she wanted to improve and reached out to the providers to see what she could do. They told her she wasn't doing anything wrong with patients and have no idea how her boss got that impression. So red flags are being set.
I stopped several posts after # 3. It sez it all. There might B a union there. This sorta thing is their job (obviously, and "above her management" problem where the 'guy up there' is not taking charge/responsibility & straightening things out), unable to speak to middle men.
As some 1 w/experience in consulting managers (of staff) and couples (abt their family, children and marriage) I'd say you'd do best at naming the problem ("U R ina tough situation @ wrk, hon. I bet it feels awful. I'm here to hear more abt that. What the "F"'s going on there THIS wk." [if U use that kinda language w/each-other]). The point being - match her level of emotion + get the detail of the situation out. Of the 2 it is more important to match her level of energy w/it. # 3 is pretty right, not the time to problem solve. That comes after. Good Luck, cont 2 keep us informed~
As some 1 w/experience in consulting managers (of staff) and couples (abt their family, children and marriage) I'd say you'd do best at naming the problem ("U R ina tough situation @ wrk, hon. I bet it feels awful. I'm here to hear more abt that. What the "F"'s going on there THIS wk." [if U use that kinda language w/each-other]). The point being - match her level of emotion + get the detail of the situation out. Of the 2 it is more important to match her level of energy w/it. # 3 is pretty right, not the time to problem solve. That comes after. Good Luck, cont 2 keep us informed~
I have a family member who works in a hospital. At one point last year he worked just over 8 months straight, 7 days a week, 12-15 hours plus each day. He finally got a couple of days off. He didn’t know what to do other than just sit.
A lot of people were out into that position for the past couple of years or so. Many left.
This was my first thought too
That means it is time to start looking for a job. When they pull that stunt it's either to prove that they do not care about you as an employee or they are looking for a scapegoat. Seems like the latter with your wife.
I recently had a similar meeting. I was told that everyone thinks highly of me, but I'll never be promoted because I have been in my position for so long. Nevermind that I go above and beyond and do work significantly above my pay grade. Becuase I've been in the same position for so long, I will never be promoted.
We had a department stir up. My old boss was promoted and there's another manager inbetween us. My new manager is constantly impressed with my work. But has made it clear, there is no promotion for me ever.
Unfortunately I can't live on 3% raises for the rest of my life so ...
I am a stone's throw away from the Freebridge and slightly more from Frenchtown hence why I pushed her to get a NJ license as a backup and if needed incase her current employer buys a NJ health company.
I was in that locale when financing/managing health care changed model ("managed care" entered there 1st, mid 80s). Thru multi-level (making ownership opaque) governing structures the top cross-national companies own these huge conglomerate health co.s (thnx to de-regulation). Thats Y I mentioned union above. The only system to hang in there for these employees. I C now, as management she cant avail herself to such. These co.s do not place health (their product) as priority 1. The buck is One. They take advantage of the compassionate (most health care workers) their personality style and any other advantage they can. In this instance they have found a way to silence her voice. Like 'fighting city hall' it is very difficult (not impossible). She is fortunate to "B taken care of" (managed, silenced) thru lateral move, income increase. Beware of what they want back (not ona employment contract) and watch till (AND after) retirement. "They" have a life span much longer than our own.
