Wife's assessment when the Wife dies before the Husband

johnmyster said:
Your wife may be an expert psycotherapist, but a mathmetician she is not.

The average lifespan for women is higher than for men. Ergo, for men that outlive their wives, they will outlive them, on average, by less than women that outlive their husbands.

She's drawing a false conclusion from the overlap of two bell curves.
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I suspect the math is a whole lot more than that. An actuarial would be required, and they would have all kinds of data points to collect and access.

One example is even the average life expectancy of Americans is reported to vary be region. If accurate, is it the climate, available healthcare, water supply, dietary trends of the region?
 
GON said:
I suspect the math is a whole lot more than that. An actuarial would be required, and they would have all kinds of data points to collect and access.

One example is even the average life expectancy of Americans is reported to vary be region. If accurate, is it the climate, available healthcare, water supply, dietary trends of the region?
Click to expand...
A complex actuarial study is not needed. One average is less than the other.
 
johnmyster said:
Your wife may be an expert psycotherapist, but a mathmetician she is not.

The average lifespan for women is higher than for men. Ergo, for men that outlive their wives, they will outlive them, on average, by less than women that outlive their husbands.

She's drawing a false conclusion from the overlap of two bell curves.
Click to expand...
Yeah the human brain does not like unrelated things seeming to affect each other. Like men dying sooner after their wives than women do their husbands must mean something. When really it just means men dont live as long as women on average, and that man probably just died when he was going to anyway.
 
Starving Electrician said:
Men on average live shorter lives than women.

Men tend to be older than their wives.

Men thereby would obviously tend to not out live their wives by much if any. (As most men die before their wives) It isn't a wonder at all but a product of statistics.

In other earth shattering news 2+2=4. If you find this question hard to answer this news might be interesting to you.
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You might not want to quit your day job to become an actuarial.
 
Starving Electrician said:
Weird it's almost like I used terms like on average and tends because yeah obviously it's not universally true. It is however reliable enough to make the fact that men don't out live their wives by much on average not a question to ponder but the logical extension of the data.

There are men that outlive their wives by decades but those cases are the exception not the rule.
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That was exactly my point. You wrote that as if you misunderstood what I wrote. I did write "the wife must" but I see that I wrote "such thoughts". I will clarify with an edit.
 
GON said:
You might not want to quit your day job to become an actuarial.
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Or we can see that men tend to be 2 years older than their wives. Men tend to live 6 years less than women. So on average a married man would die about 8 years before his wife.

In the cases that doesn't happen those averages are still working against that man and he is probably near then end of his natural life anyway.

If you saw a different trend that would be odd and worth looking into more. Interestingly 90% of people that die of "broken heart syndrome" are women. So even the I can't live without my spouse deaths are almost all women. So men passing not long after their wives isn't explained by that. It's not some big romantic thing it's just a man and a woman from the same part of the world living a similar lifestyle in a similar economic condition will see the man dying at a younger age.
 
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Pablo said:
That was exactly my point. You wrote that as if you misunderstood what I wrote. I did write "the wife must" but I see that I wrote "such thoughts". I will clarify with an edit.
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You know what my bad. I got defensive I shouldn't have and I apologize for that. Thank you for clarifying.
 
GON said:
Here is an article from Time magazine on the subject:

Losing a Spouse Makes Men 70% More Likely to Die Within a Year​


https://time.com/6265173/men-dying-after-spouse-dies/

And from Psychology Today:

"I Can't Live Without Her": Why Widowed Men Die​

The widowhood effect, and the age of highest risk.​


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...i-cant-live-without-her-when-grieving-men-die
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To counter pop culture articles that sound nice on the basis of confirmation bias, I suggest a related article on the law of averages. This one has "law" in the name and is accepted amongst mathematicians.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_averages
 
GON said:
To

Your reply makes perfect sense.

My Wife would point to a different view. She would say if a wife dies an accidental death at let's say age 65, her surviving husband would die earlier than he would have if his wife didn't die and accidental death.

Not sure I am able to articulate what she spoke to me on the subject, but a man death is accelerated after his wife passes away. She would go father and say a man starts to go into a tailspin when he is away from his wife for very extensive amounts of time.
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Well I'm not telling my wife that, she'll take me everywhere.... And every time I go shopping with her I feel like dieing.
 
GON said:
To

Your reply makes perfect sense.

My Wife would point to a different view. She would say if a wife dies an accidental death at let's say age 65, her surviving husband would die earlier than he would have if his wife didn't die and accidental death.

Not sure I am able to articulate what she spoke to me on the subject, but a man death is accelerated after his wife passes away. She would go father and say a man starts to go into a tailspin when he is away from his wife for very extensive amounts of time.
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How do you quantify that? When you expect him to die pretty soon anyway. It's cold and harsh but it's just the numbers.
 
I mean OK so - this type of banal stuff - what will you do with this?Nothing. It's a time waster, conversation is all. It's like acting on a meme or something similar. Not logical, because, well I hope you are already doing the things to live a healthy life and if the big hook comes from the man above, it comes. If someone doesn't have the will to live when spouse departs, well sadly sometimes that is life.

My Asian wife always cracking some comment about me getting some small subservient Asian woman when she passes, to which I quip "Never met one of those"

That said, your wife should be making money at this rather than telling it to you to brighten your day.
 
GON said:
My Wife would point to a different view. She would say if a wife dies an accidental death at let's say age 65, her surviving husband would die earlier than he would have if his wife didn't die and accidental death.
Click to expand...
To which you could say, average life expectancies includes accidental death.
 
Perhaps you guys are just grown babies that couldn’t take care of yourselves, but I hardly doubt that’s the case. What is the case is that it makes women feel really good about themselves pushing such narratives.

A more probable cause is men are more emotionally attached to their spouse and therefore take a sudden loss a lot worse than women do. They tend to withdraw from the society and close friends and have more suicidal tendencies.

Women, on the other hands, tend to move on a lot quicker.

IMG_4893.webp


https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35007946/
 
Buddy of mine was married about 30 years. He and wife raised three sons and put them all thru college. Once the youngest graduated the wife dropped a bomb on him. She said she wanted a divorce. She said she only stayed all the time to get the boys out of schools. They never even fought. He did not attempt to save the marriage and agreed to what she wanted. He has never been happier in his life. He tells me he is "his own boss now!" LoL. He says he likes the privacy and being able to come and go as he sees fit and buy what he wants when he wants. He also tells everyone "stop trying to fix him up with women." He is near 70 and is happy to live as he is now a days.
 
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