Sounds like you have anxiety issues. This wedding is a stepping stone to help you overcome them.
Not Wanting To Be Involved In Siblings Wedding
- Thread starter Bailes1992
- Start date
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I think you’re overthinking this. You agreed after all so you have to man up and go through with the charade.
If nobody there knows you, then they will not care how you look.
Deliver a short and to the point generic congratulations and be done with it.
If nobody there knows you, then they will not care how you look.
Deliver a short and to the point generic congratulations and be done with it.
Im surprised this thread is still open 
Im surprised this thread is still open
I'm not. I came here for peoples opinions and I got them, none of them remotely offensive.
It's quite obvious how many people don't quite understand mental health issues. But if you've never experienced, then how would you ever know?
I was a groomsman at one sisters wedding. It was a good time, for a sister I love. No regrets. I was also the best man at the weddings of two friends. Both were good experiences.
IF the other sister ever gets married, I can't imagine attending, let alone participating. She has always been an abusive, bullying, narcissist.
A lifetime of trying to get along hasn't helped. With our parents gone, I see no reason to put forth a one-sided effort anymore.
Ironically, she's a social worker. A therapist in desperate need of therapy.
So I say go with your instinct of whether to attend. Only you know the relationship you have or don't have with your sister.
IF the other sister ever gets married, I can't imagine attending, let alone participating. She has always been an abusive, bullying, narcissist.
A lifetime of trying to get along hasn't helped. With our parents gone, I see no reason to put forth a one-sided effort anymore.
Ironically, she's a social worker. A therapist in desperate need of therapy.
So I say go with your instinct of whether to attend. Only you know the relationship you have or don't have with your sister.
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Our daughter-in-law's uncle, an accountant, said that in his experience the longevity of the marriage was inversely proportional to the amount spent on the wedding.
Based on his niece's and my son's potluck-supper wedding, he predicted a long and happy marriage.
So far so good.
Im not certain why a reply to me, we seem to run the gamut. I guess based on my previous thought to you it just seemed cut and dry to me. Mental Health or Not. I was looking out for you. Explain to your sister why you do not want to do it and don't.
I thought in my previous post to you I was helping.
Your not the only person who doesn't want to speak in public, I think your life will be much better if you can tell the people you care about and they you, why you will not be a groomsman. If you can start to learn to say no to people and think of your own happiness instead of others, over time you will feel great about yourself and others respect your decisions.
Good luck to you, I meant no ill will.
Knowing when to say no, and sometimes how to say it, is a very powerful thing both in professional and personal life.
OP I understand your stress, but sometimes we all have to do something just for a bit. I suggests you ask them not to give you any role with speech and just blend into the background for the day. It is just one day, we all learn to deal with some uncomfortable situation for a couple days in life.
If the stress gets to you that much maybe ask a psychologist, they can give you some advice on how to deal with it.
If the stress gets to you that much maybe ask a psychologist, they can give you some advice on how to deal with it.
4WD
$50 site donor 2024
Keep yourself occupied - ask the limo driver what oil they run
This thread has probably run its course. My guess is that you really don't want to attend and are seeking affirmation how to do it.
True mental challenges cannot be wished/willed away. Internet advice is just that, and cannot cure mental issues. Deep rooted mental issues can go back decades (to childhood) and can even be a true physical/chemical mis-firing of the brain circuit, something many don't comprehend and don't realize. In many cases, you can't pull yourself up by the bootstraps with mental well being any better than if your were fighting cancer. Again, not comprehended by many.
My advice is to tell them no, using the "stealing the thunder" technique. YOU take away ALL avenues that they could possibly use to force you to attend before they have a chance to respond. Here's my example: " Sis, I sincerely apologize and am very sorry, but I cannot be in your wedding. It is causing me severe anxiety and mental anguish. I'm not sleeping well, It is affecting my job and I worry about repercussions. My doctor warned me of possible ulcer issues. I love you and really do want to help you, but my health is suffering and I cannot be in your wedding. Let me help you find someone else. I really want this to be a special day for you and dufuss. Please forgive me. I didn't know this would happen and feel very bad about it. I hope you understand and let me help you find someone else. I especially don't want this to create a wedge between us because I care about you.
Best wishes. Seek some professional counseling to properly diagnose your challenges and most importantly to learn the tools to manage them.
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Your cousin made the mistake of sharing the financial details of her wedding with an insufferable, pretentious jerk. I wouldn’t talk to you, either.
No doubt this thread will get locked as you've dropped to the lows of throwing insults about. Cheers for that.
Thanks everyone for your viewpoints. Much appreciated.
If family can’t tell themselves the truth then who will?
Randos on the web
Good Luck with whatever you decide.
Pop in an ear bud and listen to Garth Brooks - Friends in low places and know we are your friends
.
There's much more to that story than just her wedding details. There's a long history there. You think I'm pretentious? Spend 5 minutes with that woman, you'll learn what insufferable really is.
Me, I would bail on it. Did enough weddings and suits in my younger days. If I am to travel it will only be for something I want to do.
If I still get along with the relative I will send a nice check in a card wishing them a successful marriage. If not, all they get is the card wishing them a successful marriage.
If I still get along with the relative I will send a nice check in a card wishing them a successful marriage. If not, all they get is the card wishing them a successful marriage.
Some of us might understand that better than it seems.
