What’s important in your relationship?
- Thread starter dogememe
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I married a woman 4 years older than me. Found her wonderfully mature and responsible. Sadly, “the change” changed things and I now understand the reason why well informed men marry younger women. It may get them, oh, 10 extra years of….
Just a little old man wisdom.
Just a little old man wisdom.
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Yeah that's kind of important!
One that doesn't run off with Ludwig the pool guy while I'm having a procedure.
It's important after 40+ years of marriage to be challenged just enough to keep you on your toes. And not get fat.
You’d be shocked at how many people want to have an open relationship. It’s frustrating!
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Or Gunnar, the guy who comes every week to tune the piano!
I am 52, was happily married for 31 years to an awesome lady. She died suddenly, and so now I'm unexpectedly single, and somewhat seeing a younger lady.
I would say that our 31 great years of marriage were do to us being friends, mutual respect, honesty, a great sex life, joking around and lots of laughter, and some common interests.
I would say that our 31 great years of marriage were do to us being friends, mutual respect, honesty, a great sex life, joking around and lots of laughter, and some common interests.
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But pop culture encourages it
She is much more comfortable with loud and crazy get togethers than I am. So she understands when I want to sit one out once in awhile. Balance matters to me. Time with the kids, time with each other, time with friends, and perhaps most important to me is time alone. Understanding each other's eccentricities helps too. She likes to be early getting places which drives me nuts but I know it's important to her. I like to have a detailed plan for things which drives her nuts but she knows it's important to me. She is a lot more emotional and I'm a lot more rational so that causes us to clash sometimes but we usually can find some compromise after the dust settles.
I know 3 couples that do. It wouldn't work for me but they seem to be very happy with it. I just chalk it up to one of those things I don't understand and I withhold any judgement.
I would say that along with chemistry, solid friendship and trust are really important.
Unfortunately politics has become a roadblock for me. I live in an extremely liberal area, I myself am somewhat conservative (but not extreme).
I am more middle of the road than anything and the women around here are mostly hardcore liberal athiests. Women seem to have the "you're all in or nothing" standard. They just do not compromise, which compromise is as important as chemistry and attraction.
I just need someone more "middle of the road" like me and has a strong belief in a higher power.
I have learned on dating sites that when she says "I'm not going to settle this time" it means she'll date you until something better comes along.
Unfortunately politics has become a roadblock for me. I live in an extremely liberal area, I myself am somewhat conservative (but not extreme).
I am more middle of the road than anything and the women around here are mostly hardcore liberal athiests. Women seem to have the "you're all in or nothing" standard. They just do not compromise, which compromise is as important as chemistry and attraction.
I just need someone more "middle of the road" like me and has a strong belief in a higher power.
I have learned on dating sites that when she says "I'm not going to settle this time" it means she'll date you until something better comes along.
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This made me think of Al Franken kissing Billy Kreutzmann’s wife (in the GD movie) and Billy saying just what the **** do you think you’re doing
I fall into the (somewhat) liberal and definitely atheist category. I can tell you firsthand that many of us are terrible to get along with. There is a lot of arrogance and intolerance at play. To be fair though, I know plenty of people on the other side of those issues that are just as adverse to compromise. I personally judge people on their actions, not their politics, religion, lifestyle, etc. and get along quite well with my conservative friends. My only requirement to be my friend is to be a good and trustworthy person. I don't associate only with those who agree with me about everything. If one's beliefs are based on hate, homophobia, etc. that's a deal breaker for me but aside from that if someone is good to me, I'm good to them. Some of my closest friends are people whom I disagree with on many issues but that we see eye to eye when it comes to things like honesty, integrity, and just being a good human being. Most people are much more alike than they are different.
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It was Tom Davis, not Al Franken! Well it has been 31 years since I saw itThis made me think of Al Franken kissing Billy Kreutzmann’s wife (in the GD movie) and Billy saying just what the **** do you think you’re doing
And Big Steve opened the door where Jerry and Phil were!
It’s at 3:35
Billy and Al ‘82?
Very nicely put and I think we'd get along well as friends.
Too much "extremism" in your beliefs (religion, politics, etc) and too little compromise (or respect) will turn anyone off except for a fellow "extremist". Surely a recipe for disaster in a relationship.
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It’s tough to practice because we have a circle of friends who are very unlike us politically and religiously. Oil and water. Our wives are friends in common. I do have to hold back with some of the statements made.
But to your point, I have gotten together guys only. We have to respect that certain topics would set us off, so why do that?
Which leads me to believe if we can avoid differences on purpose, must be they can be used on purpose as well….
I would say the most common denominator we have all stated here is respect. Respect encompasses so many aspects of a relationship that if there is none, nothing will be genuine.
This goes for any relationship, friends, co-workers, spouse, in-laws and just random people you meet.
I tell young people we all breathe the same air, we all bleed the same color and we all have the same basic needs in life. We all need to help each other out, regardless of what type of relationship because we are all in this together.
That said I am glad I found this forum. Not just for the vast knowledge that is shared on here, but because it sometimes gives me hope for humanity........because aside from our differences we may have there is a great group of people on here.
This goes for any relationship, friends, co-workers, spouse, in-laws and just random people you meet.
I tell young people we all breathe the same air, we all bleed the same color and we all have the same basic needs in life. We all need to help each other out, regardless of what type of relationship because we are all in this together.
That said I am glad I found this forum. Not just for the vast knowledge that is shared on here, but because it sometimes gives me hope for humanity........because aside from our differences we may have there is a great group of people on here.
Oh, wow, did you by chance see my award ceremony presentation this past spring, LOL?
I use the "respect" mantra in my mentoring attempts to young managers learning the ins and out of subordinates, coworkers, contractors, the public.....everyone.
And, your second comment parrots a John Denver quote I used in my award acceptance:
“I tell people everywhere I go - we should remember, all of us:
- No matter what color we are
- No matter what language we speak
- No matter the form of our politics
- Or the expression of our faith
We all live under the same moon and same stars…..and we are not so very far apart."
