what % of labor should a person that asks for help put in

C

CarLuver

Joined
Jul 14, 2020
Messages
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i have lots of friends and relatives call me to come help them fix something. be it car or home or something else. 90% of the time i end up doing it all myself. the old folks and others that clearly don't have the ability to help they get a pass.

But i have able body friends younger than me call me to "help" fix their stuff which ends up me fixing it. i am going to start making them put some skin in the game next time .

So what % of the help would you expect them to assist?
 
I'll help close relatives, neighbors and friends. It usually goes better when I just do the work myself, although I do require my adult kids to assist when it's their project. I had to draw the line at my wife volunteering my services to strangers.
 
Depends.

If I want the problem to go away as fast as possible, I might just do it all myself. If I don’t ever wanna have to do it again, then I’ll make them do everything and just supervise. Now I know they know how to do it. Most times it is a blend based on skills and abilities.

I’m very picky with who I help out… it is entirely based on the character of the person I am helping.
 
CarLuver said:
i have lots of friends and relatives call me to come help them fix something. be it car or home or something else. 90% of the time i end up doing it all myself. the old folks and others that clearly don't have the ability to help they get a pass.

But i have able body friends younger than me call me to "help" fix their stuff which ends up me fixing it. i am going to start making them put some skin in the game next time .

So what % of the help would you expect them to assist?
Click to expand...


When you hit 40, you will realize that you've been taken advantage of. Those "friends" that you go help will be in the same position then and for the rest of their lives. You, hopefully, won't associate with them anymore because those folks are the ones that won't grow up, who always have more time than you, who always have more disposable cash than you - to spend at the brewery (time and money), who always have time to "hang out" (freeload) at others' homes, etc.

I suggest you start being "too busy" to give your precious time away to people that can't manage to buy a $50 set of tools and watch some Youtube videos.
 
I help out neighbors when asked, most of the time they will offer money, I decline, tell them later they can return the favor. ;)
 
Interesting title line. On first reading, I thought it had something to do with Vladimir. :unsure:;):whistle:

I know your pain. My problem is I volunteer, before being asked, my help more than I should.
 
Last edited:
Hillbilly Deluxe said:
When you hit 40, you will realize that you've been taken advantage of. Those "friends" that you go help will be in the same position then and for the rest of their lives. You, hopefully, won't associate with them anymore because those folks are the ones that won't grow up, who always have more time than you, who always have more disposable cash than you - to spend at the brewery (time and money), who always have time to "hang out" (freeload) at others' homes, etc.

I suggest you start being "too busy" to give your precious time away to people that can't manage to buy a $50 set of tools and watch some Youtube videos.
Click to expand...
You are a wise man
 
Barter. Give a service, get a service. No exceptions. Everyone has something they can offer. After an episode or two they will get the message. My parents always got a pass.
 
Specific examples would help a lot with this question but that would lead to many long paragraphs.

I've a friend who maintains a very nice piece of property for a woman. She does pay him at a fixed per hour rate. He does the jobs and tells her how many hours. However....

She always summons him at at "the last minute". She's unable to plan ahead.
My friend will not just say, "I can get to that Tuesday". It's been that way for 25 years.
 
Are they looking for someone to do the job, or a tutor?

If there just calling you to do it for free, that's fine if your OK with it. Maybe they pay you back in other ways, like bake you a pie or whatever, or maybe they don't. You should do it only if you want to - to feel good about it. In that case just do it in the most expedios fashion and move along. If not, tell them your busy.

If they do want to learn, then I would let them do the whole job until they got stuck, assuming your interested in tutoring. Thats how my dad taught me. Do it until you screw something up, then I will fix it and we will continue. Thats how I teach my kids - full hands on, I don't care that you never done it before - there is a first time for everyone.

There isn't much in between in my world. They either want to learn or they don't. Most don't, so why bother?
 
Way too many variables for a blanket statement. Over the years I have been used up and rarely has anyone ever reciprocated 100% of what I did for them. Some friends I dont mind, others I ignore. Its a skill you develop over years and like many lessons in life the painful ones are the ones you learn the best.
 
What I've learned over the years is many people want help for free, and that's all they want.

I'm not willing to do someone's brakes. Why? There is a good likelihood that they went to a forum, figured out what cheap parts to get, and then hand them to me, to do the job. When there is a noise after said job, they blame me and tell others I'm incompetent and messed up the job. Best not to get involved.

Now if it's someone who wants to learn and work side by side? Then, yes, by all means, help them out.
 
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