Humor or Scathing Commentary? Coot supposes personal experience applies. I chuckled at some of these while nodding pointy nappy-haired head at others.
Best viewed without females present. Especially if ye chortle or giggle in giddy glee, even slightly.
"As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied."
Oscar Wilde
"Direct thought is not an attribute of feminity. In this, women are now centuries behind man."
Thomas Edison
"Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote."
Grover Cleveland, Former US President (1905)
"Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilt and I'll show you a man."
Erica Jong
"An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."
Agatha Christie
"Women should be obscene and not heard."
Groucho Marx
"Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking."
Rupert Hughes
"Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing."
Sean Williamson
"Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another."
HL Mencken
"When I have one foot in the grave, I will tell the whole truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me and say, 'Do what you like now'."
Leo Tolstoy
"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
Lewis Grizzard
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
"I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife."
Tony Curtis
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late."
Max Kaufman
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde
"Dammit sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure."
Oscar Wilde
"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
George Burns
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
Groucho Marx
"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
Sacha Guitry
"The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead."
Ann Landers
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
Jimmy Durante
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet."
Mae West
"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."
Ambrose Bierce
Best viewed without females present. Especially if ye chortle or giggle in giddy glee, even slightly.
"As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied."
Oscar Wilde
"Direct thought is not an attribute of feminity. In this, women are now centuries behind man."
Thomas Edison
"Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote."
Grover Cleveland, Former US President (1905)
"Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilt and I'll show you a man."
Erica Jong
"An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."
Agatha Christie
"Women should be obscene and not heard."
Groucho Marx
"Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking."
Rupert Hughes
"Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing."
Sean Williamson
"Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another."
HL Mencken
"When I have one foot in the grave, I will tell the whole truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me and say, 'Do what you like now'."
Leo Tolstoy
"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
Lewis Grizzard
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
"I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife."
Tony Curtis
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late."
Max Kaufman
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde
"Dammit sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure."
Oscar Wilde
"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
George Burns
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
Groucho Marx
"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
Sacha Guitry
"The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead."
Ann Landers
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
Jimmy Durante
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet."
Mae West
"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."
Ambrose Bierce
