Modified for 2007
Ted Striker: "Surely you can't be serious!"
Dr. Rumack: "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley;.....well, on second thought, I'd like that."
Ex-Marine undergoing gender reassignment
- Thread starter Laminar Lou
- Start date
- Status
Modified for 2007
Ted Striker: "Surely you can't be serious!"
Dr. Rumack: "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley;.....well, on second thought, I'd like that."
Just for the record, he waited until the kids were almost out of the house when he made the decision. One of them is away at college and the other is about to graduate High School.
You got to remember we we live. Los Angeles has a lot of "diversity". It's unusual but doesn't carry the same impact if it were a small town in the bible belt.
I do know that he went to years of counseling before and during the transformation process. All therapists are not created equal though. I think you have a good bead on it though. Especially with the comment; "Rather the pathway manipulating one's body to match one's mind has been established, rather than the other way around." Actually quite prophetic if I may be so bold.
Stephanie's extended family are definitely different. Her father is a genius (worked on the airborne laser project back when it was classified), My friend (her brother) has a B.S. in Philosphy, B.S. in Music, Masters in Philosphy and is a currently a cop (he is also a very smart guy). His sister has some major OCD issues (but so do many of the people on this forum). But every family is different, the same things can be said about members of my family. I would say in most respects the family is "normal" (whatever that means). They are actually a close knit family.
As I said in an earlier comment, I'd love to pick her brain but I probably wouldn't be able to understand it.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2002
- Messages
- 39,799
Yep, I agree. Miami Beach is a haven for gays and trans gendered people also.
I'm digging this one up. I put up the white flag, I was wrong on this assessment, completely.
My good friend is transgender. She's never been a better friend. She laughs more, is no longer angry all the time, is far more pleasant to be around, is more open than ever,has a much closer walk with God than ever (we're both Christian faith) and I've seen dramatic faith-based reachings from her I never saw before...even when she fronted a Christian rock band that toured years ago.
Now I understand what/why/how. It's not deep seeded things, it's biological. While for some it may be deep-seeded issues never dealt with, for most it's purely biological. That's why her story is so undifferent from the rest. I understand now.
Dear (name withheld of my good friend) Please forgive me for being so wrong in my assessment back then.
I'll stick with judging oil analysis reports and repairing computers. I do that better evidently.
****ASIDE*****
It put a lump in my throat to see Gary Allan's name in this topic. RIP.
**************
Originally Posted By: ToyotaNSaturn
Quote:
Quote:
"All the pretty and popular girls talked to me," Robinson said. "It was the most perfect night."
He is looking to be something he is not, and trying to validate himself with the reactions of others.
You've hit a bullseye with your comment. Part and parcel of Borderline Personality Disorder is either gender confusion and/or sex: lots of it & risky, or none at all. I wonder how many of the BPD criteria these folks have?
I believe that the pain that these folks feel is real, and deep, to long to be that someone 'else'. However, treating gender issues by letting the person change their sex is not dealing with the root of the problem! Early emotional/physical trauma or early childhood pain...THERE is where the root is at.
I would be inclined to think that 90+% of all transgendered operations would never come to fruition if the deep-seeded emotional pain was dealt with at the root-level.
I feel these people have been whispered a lie into their inner being since they've been born. They can be themsevles, who they were made, by diving head first into the pain of the past. In our permissible society, that's not the case anymore. Rather the pathway manipulating one's body to match one's mind has been established, rather than the other way around.
Only through science has gender changing been truly possible. Science, and not dealing with the deep-seeded root-level emotional issues has led to many of these operations occurring.
My good friend is transgender. She's never been a better friend. She laughs more, is no longer angry all the time, is far more pleasant to be around, is more open than ever,has a much closer walk with God than ever (we're both Christian faith) and I've seen dramatic faith-based reachings from her I never saw before...even when she fronted a Christian rock band that toured years ago.
Now I understand what/why/how. It's not deep seeded things, it's biological. While for some it may be deep-seeded issues never dealt with, for most it's purely biological. That's why her story is so undifferent from the rest. I understand now.
Dear (name withheld of my good friend) Please forgive me for being so wrong in my assessment back then.
I'll stick with judging oil analysis reports and repairing computers. I do that better evidently.
****ASIDE*****
It put a lump in my throat to see Gary Allan's name in this topic. RIP.
**************
Originally Posted By: ToyotaNSaturn
Quote:
Quote:
"All the pretty and popular girls talked to me," Robinson said. "It was the most perfect night."
He is looking to be something he is not, and trying to validate himself with the reactions of others.
You've hit a bullseye with your comment. Part and parcel of Borderline Personality Disorder is either gender confusion and/or sex: lots of it & risky, or none at all. I wonder how many of the BPD criteria these folks have?
I believe that the pain that these folks feel is real, and deep, to long to be that someone 'else'. However, treating gender issues by letting the person change their sex is not dealing with the root of the problem! Early emotional/physical trauma or early childhood pain...THERE is where the root is at.
I would be inclined to think that 90+% of all transgendered operations would never come to fruition if the deep-seeded emotional pain was dealt with at the root-level.
I feel these people have been whispered a lie into their inner being since they've been born. They can be themsevles, who they were made, by diving head first into the pain of the past. In our permissible society, that's not the case anymore. Rather the pathway manipulating one's body to match one's mind has been established, rather than the other way around.
Only through science has gender changing been truly possible. Science, and not dealing with the deep-seeded root-level emotional issues has led to many of these operations occurring.
We all have choices on how we behave, full stop. If you don't, then wouldn't that be a form of mental illness?
Let's assume everyone is of normal mental health. Gay or straight, we have some choices.
I'm attracted to redheaded women. That's my preference. But I don't try to make a baby with every redheaded woman I meet. I stay true to my wife. That's being in control of my behavior.
One can say they have certain attractions, and I'll buy that. What I don't buy is that we cannot control our behaviors. No one would accept my argument if I said I could help myself, I just had to have my way with that other woman.
I do have the choice to honor my vows or not. That's entirely on me. This is true regardless if I'm attracted to another woman, or thought I was born the wrong gender.
We may not be able to control how we feel. But we better be in full control of how we act on our feelings. Otherwise, if you accept justifications based on feelings, then everything is right and nothing is wrong.
Am I saying it's easy? Of course not. It is probably easier for me to avoid that redhead at the gym than it may be to avoid taking action on a sense of gender mis-identity. Or not.
I'm simply concerned that if we base it all off feelings, with no consequences for the behavior choices, chaos will ensue.
Originally Posted By: Laminar Lou
Pablo and Bryan,
First, thanks for your grown-up responses.
My wife and I have the "it's a choice/not a choice" debate every once in awhile. She has a strong religious background so she still believes it is a choice, but since we have mutual friends that are homosexuals I don't think you can make a blanket statement whether it is a choice or not. I know a [censored] that I think was more of a choice, but I know of another that I think was born that way.
In this instance, the urge has to be great to take on a surgery like this. His wife said it wasn't because he wanted to have sex with men. And, interestingly, she didn't think he was in any relationships currently.
I can't imagine that anyone would want the ridicule that is associated with becoming a transsexual on purpose. As Pablo said it; "People do what they have to do."
Let's assume everyone is of normal mental health. Gay or straight, we have some choices.
I'm attracted to redheaded women. That's my preference. But I don't try to make a baby with every redheaded woman I meet. I stay true to my wife. That's being in control of my behavior.
One can say they have certain attractions, and I'll buy that. What I don't buy is that we cannot control our behaviors. No one would accept my argument if I said I could help myself, I just had to have my way with that other woman.
I do have the choice to honor my vows or not. That's entirely on me. This is true regardless if I'm attracted to another woman, or thought I was born the wrong gender.
We may not be able to control how we feel. But we better be in full control of how we act on our feelings. Otherwise, if you accept justifications based on feelings, then everything is right and nothing is wrong.
Am I saying it's easy? Of course not. It is probably easier for me to avoid that redhead at the gym than it may be to avoid taking action on a sense of gender mis-identity. Or not.
I'm simply concerned that if we base it all off feelings, with no consequences for the behavior choices, chaos will ensue.
Originally Posted By: Laminar Lou
Pablo and Bryan,
First, thanks for your grown-up responses.
My wife and I have the "it's a choice/not a choice" debate every once in awhile. She has a strong religious background so she still believes it is a choice, but since we have mutual friends that are homosexuals I don't think you can make a blanket statement whether it is a choice or not. I know a [censored] that I think was more of a choice, but I know of another that I think was born that way.
In this instance, the urge has to be great to take on a surgery like this. His wife said it wasn't because he wanted to have sex with men. And, interestingly, she didn't think he was in any relationships currently.
I can't imagine that anyone would want the ridicule that is associated with becoming a transsexual on purpose. As Pablo said it; "People do what they have to do."
Originally Posted By: ToyotaNSaturn
It put a lump in my throat to see Gary Allan's name in this topic. RIP.
DITTO
It put a lump in my throat to see Gary Allan's name in this topic. RIP.
DITTO
Originally Posted By: javacontour
I'm simply concerned that if we base it all off feelings, with no consequences for the behavior choices, chaos will ensue.
Replace "feelings", with "faith" and I would agree.
I'm simply concerned that if we base it all off feelings, with no consequences for the behavior choices, chaos will ensue.
Replace "feelings", with "faith" and I would agree.
Feelings, faith, personal beliefs, fairly synonymous.
Originally Posted By: surfstar
Originally Posted By: javacontour
I'm simply concerned that if we base it all off feelings, with no consequences for the behavior choices, chaos will ensue.
Replace "feelings", with "faith" and I would agree.
Originally Posted By: surfstar
Originally Posted By: javacontour
I'm simply concerned that if we base it all off feelings, with no consequences for the behavior choices, chaos will ensue.
Replace "feelings", with "faith" and I would agree.
Marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman...
Not Bubba and Larry.
Not Bubba and Larry.
I work with a transgendered person. I knew/know him/her for over 16 years as both sexes.
I will not try to convince anyone to change their views. All I'll say is she is much happier after being transitioned. These types of transitions are not done before serious evaluation as to the reason behind it. I encourage people to research it rather than making 'gut reactions' as to why the need for this might exist.
Employer had "no problem" (we even have a group on our internal Facebook type corporate app) and neither did our customer whose site we work at. No job change, no fanfare, no spectacle Our account rep even stopped by after her 1st day back and asked how stuff went and mentioned to contact him if any situations might come up.
I will not try to convince anyone to change their views. All I'll say is she is much happier after being transitioned. These types of transitions are not done before serious evaluation as to the reason behind it. I encourage people to research it rather than making 'gut reactions' as to why the need for this might exist.
Employer had "no problem" (we even have a group on our internal Facebook type corporate app) and neither did our customer whose site we work at. No job change, no fanfare, no spectacle Our account rep even stopped by after her 1st day back and asked how stuff went and mentioned to contact him if any situations might come up.
Last edited:
Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette
Marriage in a religious view is the sacred bond between a man and woman...
Fixed
The would marriage is neutral, it only gains a specific meaning on where/who/how it is used. In reality it is just an emotional/physical bond.
Marriage in a religious view is the sacred bond between a man and woman...
Fixed
The would marriage is neutral, it only gains a specific meaning on where/who/how it is used. In reality it is just an emotional/physical bond.
Originally Posted By: simple_gifts
I work with a transgendered person. I knew/know him/her for over 16 years as both sexes.
I will not try to convince anyone to change their views. All I'll say is she is much happier after being transitioned. These types of transitions are not done before serious evaluation as to the reason behind it. I encourage people to research it rather than making 'gut reactions' as to why the need for this might exist.
Employer had "no problem" (we even have a group on our internal Facebook type corporate app) and neither did our customer whose site we work at. No job change, no fanfare, no spectacle Our account rep even stopped by after her 1st day back and asked how stuff went and mentioned to contact him if any situations might come up.
Yep, pretty much what I my friend experienced. Things went smoothly for her clients as she communicated changes and potential pitfalls and there were no pitfalls, kids are 100% OK...if you don't see it 1st hand, one may never believe it.
I work with a transgendered person. I knew/know him/her for over 16 years as both sexes.
I will not try to convince anyone to change their views. All I'll say is she is much happier after being transitioned. These types of transitions are not done before serious evaluation as to the reason behind it. I encourage people to research it rather than making 'gut reactions' as to why the need for this might exist.
Employer had "no problem" (we even have a group on our internal Facebook type corporate app) and neither did our customer whose site we work at. No job change, no fanfare, no spectacle Our account rep even stopped by after her 1st day back and asked how stuff went and mentioned to contact him if any situations might come up.
Yep, pretty much what I my friend experienced. Things went smoothly for her clients as she communicated changes and potential pitfalls and there were no pitfalls, kids are 100% OK...if you don't see it 1st hand, one may never believe it.
I have a former co worker who is going through the whole transition. I know she was considering the surgury, but it was something not covered under insurance, so it's being put off a few years. She came out on facebook a couple years ago, and I was pretty shocked. I hadn't seen it coming at all. That being said I fully support her. She has always been a hard worker and very good at whatever she does. She used to be a tech at TWC and at a more recent job she was promoted to manager within a month of hire because of how she streamlined the entire facility.
This was post transition to. She's doing very well, she has a girlfriend (yes) and is happier than she's been in years, from what she told me when I chatted with her on fb last week.
People who say that those who are going through this are not desireable in a professional environment are talking out of their [censored] frankly. In the end what it comes down to is if they are good at their job, they can do well, unless bigoted other people make an issue of it, or if that person decides they want to make an issue of it themselves.
This was post transition to. She's doing very well, she has a girlfriend (yes) and is happier than she's been in years, from what she told me when I chatted with her on fb last week.
People who say that those who are going through this are not desireable in a professional environment are talking out of their [censored] frankly. In the end what it comes down to is if they are good at their job, they can do well, unless bigoted other people make an issue of it, or if that person decides they want to make an issue of it themselves.
Originally Posted By: javacontour
Feelings, faith, personal beliefs, fairly synonymous.
Originally Posted By: surfstar
Originally Posted By: javacontour
I'm simply concerned that if we base it all off feelings, with no consequences for the behavior choices, chaos will ensue.
Replace "feelings", with "faith" and I would agree.
And I'll politely disagree with you that these days marriage means a lot more than the title does and that everyone should be allowed to marry who'm they want.
Feelings, faith, personal beliefs, fairly synonymous.
Originally Posted By: surfstar
Originally Posted By: javacontour
I'm simply concerned that if we base it all off feelings, with no consequences for the behavior choices, chaos will ensue.
Replace "feelings", with "faith" and I would agree.
And I'll politely disagree with you that these days marriage means a lot more than the title does and that everyone should be allowed to marry who'm they want.
Originally Posted By: javacontour
We all have choices on how we behave, full stop. If you don't, then wouldn't that be a form of mental illness?
Let's assume everyone is of normal mental health. Gay or straight, we have some choices.
I'm attracted to redheaded women. That's my preference. But I don't try to make a baby with every redheaded woman I meet. I stay true to my wife. That's being in control of my behavior.
One can say they have certain attractions, and I'll buy that. What I don't buy is that we cannot control our behaviors. No one would accept my argument if I said I could help myself, I just had to have my way with that other woman.
I do have the choice to honor my vows or not. That's entirely on me. This is true regardless if I'm attracted to another woman, or thought I was born the wrong gender.
We may not be able to control how we feel. But we better be in full control of how we act on our feelings. Otherwise, if you accept justifications based on feelings, then everything is right and nothing is wrong.
Am I saying it's easy? Of course not. It is probably easier for me to avoid that redhead at the gym than it may be to avoid taking action on a sense of gender mis-identity. Or not.
I'm simply concerned that if we base it all off feelings, with no consequences for the behavior choices, chaos will ensue.
Originally Posted By: Laminar Lou
Pablo and Bryan,
First, thanks for your grown-up responses.
My wife and I have the "it's a choice/not a choice" debate every once in awhile. She has a strong religious background so she still believes it is a choice, but since we have mutual friends that are homosexuals I don't think you can make a blanket statement whether it is a choice or not. I know a [censored] that I think was more of a choice, but I know of another that I think was born that way.
In this instance, the urge has to be great to take on a surgery like this. His wife said it wasn't because he wanted to have sex with men. And, interestingly, she didn't think he was in any relationships currently.
I can't imagine that anyone would want the ridicule that is associated with becoming a transsexual on purpose. As Pablo said it; "People do what they have to do."
I find it difficult to imagine people ridicululing people who identify with any sexual identity or gender identify other than straight and what they physically were born as. Maybe my generation is a lot more tolerant and open minded than those that came before us, who's to say. But I fully support people's freedoms to do what they want.
And if there is an issue in the workplace, it's due to one of two things.
A. Someone in that environment decided that something that is in no way their business decided to make a stink of it
or
B. The person in question decided they wanted to flaunt and make a big deal of it
Guess which one is far more common these days? (Hint, it's not B)
We all have choices on how we behave, full stop. If you don't, then wouldn't that be a form of mental illness?
Let's assume everyone is of normal mental health. Gay or straight, we have some choices.
I'm attracted to redheaded women. That's my preference. But I don't try to make a baby with every redheaded woman I meet. I stay true to my wife. That's being in control of my behavior.
One can say they have certain attractions, and I'll buy that. What I don't buy is that we cannot control our behaviors. No one would accept my argument if I said I could help myself, I just had to have my way with that other woman.
I do have the choice to honor my vows or not. That's entirely on me. This is true regardless if I'm attracted to another woman, or thought I was born the wrong gender.
We may not be able to control how we feel. But we better be in full control of how we act on our feelings. Otherwise, if you accept justifications based on feelings, then everything is right and nothing is wrong.
Am I saying it's easy? Of course not. It is probably easier for me to avoid that redhead at the gym than it may be to avoid taking action on a sense of gender mis-identity. Or not.
I'm simply concerned that if we base it all off feelings, with no consequences for the behavior choices, chaos will ensue.
Originally Posted By: Laminar Lou
Pablo and Bryan,
First, thanks for your grown-up responses.
My wife and I have the "it's a choice/not a choice" debate every once in awhile. She has a strong religious background so she still believes it is a choice, but since we have mutual friends that are homosexuals I don't think you can make a blanket statement whether it is a choice or not. I know a [censored] that I think was more of a choice, but I know of another that I think was born that way.
In this instance, the urge has to be great to take on a surgery like this. His wife said it wasn't because he wanted to have sex with men. And, interestingly, she didn't think he was in any relationships currently.
I can't imagine that anyone would want the ridicule that is associated with becoming a transsexual on purpose. As Pablo said it; "People do what they have to do."
I find it difficult to imagine people ridicululing people who identify with any sexual identity or gender identify other than straight and what they physically were born as. Maybe my generation is a lot more tolerant and open minded than those that came before us, who's to say. But I fully support people's freedoms to do what they want.
And if there is an issue in the workplace, it's due to one of two things.
A. Someone in that environment decided that something that is in no way their business decided to make a stink of it
or
B. The person in question decided they wanted to flaunt and make a big deal of it
Guess which one is far more common these days? (Hint, it's not B)
Originally Posted By: pandus13
Originally Posted By: ToyotaNSaturn
It put a lump in my throat to see Gary Allan's name in this topic. RIP.
DITTO
I didn't even realize until after my first response and I scrolled down on the first page that I must be posting in a ghost thread, due to that alone.
I miss Gary.
Originally Posted By: ToyotaNSaturn
It put a lump in my throat to see Gary Allan's name in this topic. RIP.
DITTO
I didn't even realize until after my first response and I scrolled down on the first page that I must be posting in a ghost thread, due to that alone.
I miss Gary.
OVERKILL
$100 Site Donor 2021
Originally Posted By: Nick R
Originally Posted By: pandus13
Originally Posted By: ToyotaNSaturn
It put a lump in my throat to see Gary Allan's name in this topic. RIP.
DITTO
I didn't even realize until after my first response and I scrolled down on the first page that I must be posting in a ghost thread, due to that alone.
I miss Gary.
I think we all do Nick
Originally Posted By: pandus13
Originally Posted By: ToyotaNSaturn
It put a lump in my throat to see Gary Allan's name in this topic. RIP.
DITTO
I didn't even realize until after my first response and I scrolled down on the first page that I must be posting in a ghost thread, due to that alone.
I miss Gary.
I think we all do Nick
- Status
