How does one vanish from society?

[Just a civilian pilot]

I was just thinking of a nasty wife. Just had to get away!!

In all seriousness, I had a former GF ( who was trying to pressure me to destroy my life aka marry HER ) who went after me for a lot of $ after I got rid of her.

Even though we were not married, she pursued me in court for significant “ indefinite” spousal support $3000 per month back in 2006.

Had I not been able to beat her case , I would have seriously thought of leaving the country and “ disappearing” to get rid of paying her.

That’s when I applied to Emirates airlines but turned them down ( for an interview ) and winning was one of the reasons.

There were NO kids involved, that would have changed things.

 

[Leo99]

There was a reality TV show a few years back where you had to disappear and not be found by the "hunters" for I think 30 days and you'd win the prize. I often spend too much idle time thinking of how I'd disappear.

 

[Cheetah-kins]

I had a friend I worked with years ago. When I left that company we stayed in touch - would talk maybe once a month, etc, see each other a few times a year when I was in his city, etc. He was a very likeable guy, we had lots of mutual friends.

He left and went to work for a customer of mine, and we had several mutual acquaintances at that place. One day he called to tell me he was quitting that place, said he had some personal things to deal with but was living same place and we should get together my next trip there. A month later he wouldn't respond to my emails and his phone was disconnected.

A number of mutual friends have called me over the years to see if I have ever heard from him - so obviously he wasn't just avoiding me. He has a unique name, I have tried google and all his info for places he lived to that point are still there, but nothing after that point.

So I wonder how someone disappears in todays society by choice or other. I can think of a few.

1) Death, although I think an obituary would end up on the web?
2) long term illness - end up on disability - obviously never have a residence in your name.
3) incarceration or commitment to some sort of institution? Not sure how that ends up working but I assume they would suppress that information?
4) Leave the country for whatever reason?

Thoughts? I am not really looking to reach him - my number and email have not changed and I am easy to find if he wanted although I hope he is OK. I just find it odd. Many others who ask me about him do as well.

I hope he is serving cocktails on a tropical beach somewhere, but unfortunately I doubt that is true.

There are several old (unrelated) friends of mine I have been trying to locate for years, kind of similar to your story OP, although you said you weren't actually trying to find your friend - just curious. It's a bummer, with all the modern tools we have now to not be able to locate someone is pretty frustrating. Like you, I hope for the best for my friends. I've come to the conclusion I simply am never going to see them again and have accepted it.

 

[Jdeere562]

They could just come and live in my basement.

 

[ripcord]

They could just come and live in my basement.

There's a macabre joke in there, but on second thought I won't go there.

 

[JHZR2]

I’m kind of interested in this. In the past week the spam texts on my work phone and personal phone have gone through the roof. I’d like to dissociate some connections.

 

[mjk1967]

I had a friend I worked with years ago. When I left that company we stayed in touch - would talk maybe once a month, etc, see each other a few times a year when I was in his city, etc. He was a very likeable guy, we had lots of mutual friends.

He left and went to work for a customer of mine, and we had several mutual acquaintances at that place. One day he called to tell me he was quitting that place, said he had some personal things to deal with but was living same place and we should get together my next trip there. A month later he wouldn't respond to my emails and his phone was disconnected.

A number of mutual friends have called me over the years to see if I have ever heard from him - so obviously he wasn't just avoiding me. He has a unique name, I have tried google and all his info for places he lived to that point are still there, but nothing after that point.

So I wonder how someone disappears in todays society by choice or other. I can think of a few.

1) Death, although I think an obituary would end up on the web?
2) long term illness - end up on disability - obviously never have a residence in your name.
3) incarceration or commitment to some sort of institution? Not sure how that ends up working but I assume they would suppress that information?
4) Leave the country for whatever reason?

Thoughts? I am not really looking to reach him - my number and email have not changed and I am easy to find if he wanted although I hope he is OK. I just find it odd. Many others who ask me about him do as well.

I hope he is serving cocktails on a tropical beach somewhere, but unfortunately I doubt that is true.

He becomes Jason Bourne ??

 

[Cheetah-kins]

He becomes Jason Bourne ??

Or Jimmy Hoffa?

 

[ripcord]

Or Jimmy Hoffa?

Or D.B. Cooper? Or Amelia Earhart?

 

[Pablo]

I mean, what happened to moribundman? Just GONE. Never left a single bread crumb.

With me, somehow the gold/silver/coin hawkers always track me down. Move to the moon with zero evidence. 5 days later, get junk mail from them.

 

[dumkid]

There was a reality TV show a few years back where you had to disappear and not be found by the "hunters" for I think 30 days and you'd win the prize. I often spend too much idle time thinking of how I'd disappear.

i dont think it would be too hard, just go live in the forest where you have no contact with anyone. you would have to find food for 30 days though

 

[ripcord]

i dont think it would be too hard, just go live in the forest where you have no contact with anyone. you would have to find food for 30 days though

Or just put on some old clothes, go downtown and find a spot on the sidewalk.

 

[eljefino]

Imagine if you are in a 3rd world country instead, or pay to stay under a cartel protection in their turf.

How would that work, though? The cartel would figure out who you were and how much money you've got and bleed you dry just like your original enemy was trying to do.

 

[PandaBear]

How would that work, though? The cartel would figure out who you were and how much money you've got and bleed you dry just like your original enemy was trying to do.

Obviously you have to have interest that align with them. They need employees too and they probably can use your skill (accounting, legal, PR, marketing, actors, civil engineering, architecture, chemical engineering, quality control, human resources, etc).

They need to run like a business as well. Nobody would just protect a loafer begging for freebies.

 

[SammyChevelleTypeS3]

She didn’t lay low so she outed herself.

YES. that whole thing was one really whacked out story of a love story that was not even true. Jealousy prevailed and the one nut in the group of friends killed a poor woman who from news reports was not even really involved with the guy. The guy that the killer still percieved as "her own boyfriend." So she kills a woman she saw him interact with. He was not even aware this woman, the killer was stalking him at the time.

 

[Vil_Riker]

You will need cash, lots of it. Move to an area with no cameras, especially ones with facial recognition. Cut ties with everyone from your past. No internet, no smart phone.

So its a pretty inconvenient life.

 

[BMWTurboDzl]

Get off social media, get rid of cell phone, work misc jobs for cash under the table, not that hard to disappear. Plenty of slumlords that will rent without checking an ID. 99.9% of Americans couldn’t handle 1 day without the comfort social media brings them so they can’t comprehend how someone could just “disappear” without saying anything.

The problem is avoiding camera's. Google can perform image searches. Imagine getting outed because you showed up in the background of some photo taken by a couple of teens doing their best Taylor Swift impersonation?

 

[John105]

Imagine how many runaways reached the Port Authority in NYC, when bus travel was a thing. Wonder if the number is in the tens or hundreds of millions

 

[dumkid]

The problem is avoiding camera's. Google can perform image searches. Imagine getting outed because you showed up in the background of some photo taken by a couple of teens doing their best Taylor Swift impersonation?

that's easy, just go somewhere without people. the amazon rainforest maybe?

 

[SeaJay]

Not easy, but if not wanted by the authorities you could probably move somewhere to work off the books and find a room rental paid for in cash. No cell phone, internet, computer, drivers license, other governmental ID, insurance, property, etc. and it would be difficult for someone to track you down I would think.

Of course not many who would want to live like that.