Boy, oh boy...did I ever step out of line tonight.

[yeti]

doitmyself -- your post is funny.first, you state that "the results were so disastrous".this is a minor incident, hardly "disastrous". disastrous is the recent recession, or a yucatan peninsula size asteroid hitting the earth.
and "... trained conflict mediator to really handle the true problem".extreme left, bleeding heart fanatics spout words of this nature.
and "... who you people are that have perfect marriages ...". who said anything of this nature?
knee jerk reaction, bleeding heart mentality, and fabricating words that nobody here used -- all signs of one grasping at straws to validate inane logic, and a lack of intelligent thought.
i used to love to debate people like you when i was a kid in high school.they ALWAYS lost, and were made to look foolish in the process.
thanks for my daily laugh, and have a good night.

 

[Gary Allan]

Quote:
If it was the right thing, wouldn't better results bear it out?


It's 100% possible to do abosolutely nothing wrong and still fail. It assumes a solution to all situations. While I don't think there is such a thing as a solution, but merely an exchange of problems (in one form or another), there are expected outcomes. Those you may not achieve under any means available.

 

[Trav]

Originally Posted By: Gary Allan
Originally Posted By: silverrat
No one mentioned that it isn't his child and it isn't his business how the child is raised, nevermind putting your hands on him. You had no right.


No mention that it wasn't the child's home. The child's parents had NO RIGHT to subject people to the child's behavior. Some would view it like taking a untrained dog out for a walk without a leash ..as offensive as that sounds.

Sauce for the goose

That’s my opinion also. Kids learn real quick when they know bad behavior will not be tolerated.

 

[Kaboomba]

Dogs, children, adults...

IF they learn to obey masters, parents, laws, they rarely need to be kept on a leash, in their rooms, or in jail to keep them from destroying themselves and others.

My son is 16 months old. I am constantly teaching him to stop when I tell him "Stop", and discipline if he doesn't, so that if he is ever mindlessly running into the street or into other danger, he will obey right away and be safe.

Duh. I love my son. (to those who oppose parents who make their children obey)

K

 

[Schmoe]

Remember that american kid that got caned in Sigapore? I'll bet you HE won't be doing that the rest of his life. She's your sister, she'll get over it. If not, stand your ground. One day, probably when it's too late and your nephew get's his little arshed kicked or picked on in school, she'll regret not doing something. If left unchecked, it's going to get worse as time goes on and then he'll be out of control. Like I said, stick to your guns. Now, if it wasn't your sister and with today's society, you'd probably be getting sued right now.

 

[VeeDubb]

I agree with the op. When not at their house, it is the job of the parents to rein the kid in. However, it sound like the sis is the type that can't be dealt with easily on this issue. If op values his relationship with her, he may have to bite the bullet and apologize even if he is right. I would then ask the parents to try to reason with her. Sounds like they are on his side and they might be able to get through to her if they tread lightly.

 

[doitmyself]

Originally Posted By: yeti
doitmyself -- your post is funny. Thanks for my daily laugh, and have a good night.


yeti, you are welcome. That was my intention....to stir the pot and invite more discussion. I knew my comments were idealistic and I wanted to test the waters.

You missed my comments in which I covered myself in saying that I agree (and do practice) raising children with the "old fashioned" values, that I probably would have done the same thing as the OP, and that my ending rant was off topic. I admit that there actually are more rational, intelligent comments here vs. the ones that think a "backhand across the ###" will solve all the problems.

Disastrous? The OP said that it was an understatement that his sister and brother in law are now mad at him. I have witnessed too many extended families that have split up over these issues and I do consider that disastrous.

Trained conflict mediator? In reality, VERY few people have good conflict resolution skills. Think about all the petty stuff we get our shorts up in a bunch about.

Bleeding heart mentality/inane logic/lack of intelligent thought, extreme left...sorry I conveyed that mindset to you, but again, I was testing the waters. Actually, I attempt to stay balanced in the middle somewhere, often with great difficulty.

However, my "extreme left" comments were countered by Kaboomba's beliefs that he can train his children to obey, and that this will ensure them safety, which seems a bit unrealistic to me. Kaboomba, I sincerely mean no offense or disrespect to you. But, can anyone here not agree with me that whether kids are raised strict or loose,responsibly or poorly, that the final outcome is unpredictable? Of course good parenting will hedge your bets, but some kids self destruct in the teens years (or later) no matter how well you raised them. Its a fact of life and Gary is correct in his last statement.

 

[yeti]

doitmyself -- you certainly did do that -- i.e., test the waters, and stir the pot.idealistic comments often result in one's butt getting bitten.thank you for your well written reply. have a good night.

 

[97tbird]

Originally Posted By: doitmyself
For all the people that have remarked "you did the right thing", how can you say that when the results were so disastrous?


The results were disastrous because the parent belongs to the crowd who think unruly brats who act rude among adults are totally ok.

 

[OVERKILL]

Originally Posted By: 97tbird
Originally Posted By: doitmyself
For all the people that have remarked "you did the right thing", how can you say that when the results were so disastrous?


The results were disastrous because the parent belongs to the crowd who think unruly brats who act rude among adults are totally ok.


Agreed. His sister needs to swallow her pride and realize that what she is doing.... Isn't working!

 

[VeeDubb]

Yes that is true. But given that such people exist and are not going away, what is The OP suppose to do about it? He can stick to his guns and then there will be a permanent family split or he can figure out how to solve this taking it as a given that his sis does not belong to the rational crowd.

 

[jcwit]

If this is all it took to split the family the family was in jeopardy to begin with and with a head strong know it all sister. Its obvious the know it all sis needs to learn some parenting skills, also some social skills.

 

[daves87rs]

I might take this in a slight different direction. I beleive the old "it takes a village to raise a child" I have a two year old who I feel is advanced for his age. He knows when to use please and thank you, and quickly picks up vibes when to chill out. We love him dearly, but I do not put up with [censored]. Time outs do work with him (he really hates them), and has only need physical correction once (hit on hands). I've told our family (the ones I trust) that they have the means to correct him by what they deem necessary. So far, so good. Granted, he does act up sometimes (what 2 year old doesn't), but for the most part, he is well behaved. I account most of this for taking a harder line, but still being tender when needed. And he's still a sweet kid. So I'd say that the OP did the right thing...

 

[daves87rs]

Originally Posted By: 97tbird
Originally Posted By: doitmyself
For all the people that have remarked "you did the right thing", how can you say that when the results were so disastrous?


The results were disastrous because the parent belongs to the crowd who think unruly brats who act rude among adults are totally ok.



Exactly.

 

[Shannow]

Had the privilege of going on a kindergarden bus trip today with my Son's class. 3 hours on a bus, 4 in the field, and another 2 hours home.

The group of 4 children I was appoitned consisted of two angels (of course, my son was one of them), and two demons. We've known the kids/parents for a year now, and their parents fall into various stereotypes.

Won't go into intricate detail, but it re-affirmed my view that the OP was correct, and young children appreciate knowing where their boundaries are, and that they are consistent.