Did your parents ever cheat you out of money or steal money from you?
- Thread starter Cujet
- Start date
I'm saddened to hear these stories. There are way too many of them.
My parents grew up and then lived through their lives without much money. They didn't spend money on frivolous things like toys and vacations. But my parents were honest with me and with everyone else. If necessary they would have sacrificed for me.
My mother was living light and "putting away a little money every month" for a small inheritance for her kids and grandkids.
My parents grew up and then lived through their lives without much money. They didn't spend money on frivolous things like toys and vacations. But my parents were honest with me and with everyone else. If necessary they would have sacrificed for me.
My mother was living light and "putting away a little money every month" for a small inheritance for her kids and grandkids.
That last sentence made me gasp. I hope your stuff doesn’t disappear slowly.
Unlikely cause we aren’t delusional with finances.
It is an interesting question.
In my case It was dad, even divorced, mom protected dad.
My dad died early as well at 50. Drinking and smoking all the way to the grave.
I suspect the savings were used to pay for medical care.
More interesting is the question that if I could go back and change anything would I?
I'm not sure I would, after lifetime of hard work combined with unique opportunities that only occurred because I was at specific places at specific moments that led to what can only be described as an extremely successful fulfilling career and life, I doubt I could do as well if I had a " redo".
There were mistakes that I have made in my life, and perhaps my parents made some as well, but stealing? Im stunned by what I am reading.
My parents were middle class and enjoyed life; hiked, played tennis, sang in an opera company together, but no expensive vacations and a bunch of used cars.
They did everything for their three children, including me. They made sure we had every enrichment, good activities, good schools, did our work, our chores, our homework, and played sports and music, then they put us through college, and they made sure we were given every opportunity for our own success.
That’s what good parents do.
I have done my best, as a parent, to live up to the standard that they set.
A high standard, for which I will be forever grateful.
My parents were middle class and enjoyed life; hiked, played tennis, sang in an opera company together, but no expensive vacations and a bunch of used cars.
They did everything for their three children, including me. They made sure we had every enrichment, good activities, good schools, did our work, our chores, our homework, and played sports and music, then they put us through college, and they made sure we were given every opportunity for our own success.
That’s what good parents do.
I have done my best, as a parent, to live up to the standard that they set.
A high standard, for which I will be forever grateful.
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- Jan 8, 2024
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My mom (single parent) never stole or took anything from me. But, let's say I had somehow come into a quarter million dollars and she took it; I'd still owe her money. I was a royal pain in the *ss.
That experience crafted you as a parent, and as a parent wether we realize it or not at the time, we are teaching our children how to be parents.
I forgot to mention that when my mother was "putting away a little money every month" she was in her 90s. Her sources of income: the standard Old Age Security pension, the Canada Pension Plan (CPP) survivor's benefit (based on my dad having worked 1 or 2 years in his 70s after the CPP came into being) and the interest on about $100,000 of savings. Not very much in other words.
We bought her "meals on wheels" vouchers but she wouldn't use them. And yet when you took her out for a meal she could put away a good sized plate of food.
There was once a sense of pride in the USA to NOT take a penny of Gov assistance.
Today many people apply for everything on their 18th birthday.
JHZR2
Staff member
My parents and grandparents saved money for me to go to college. When the time came, they took funds from those accounts to pay.
But it wasn’t stealing. It was using funds as intended. And not all were used, as my parents cash rolled the rest.
I always saved. Once when in 5th grade or so, think very early 90s (it was when magnum engines came out in square body dodges), my parents needed to buy a car. They wanted zero debt and to pay cash. I had saved money, had many thousands in my passbook savings account. They took some at the time to pay cash for the car. I remember going with my mother to get it.
Years later I wanted to buy stuff and remember giving my parents a hard time over it. They didn’t cave when it was silly things that a teenager wanted.
But when I bought a new truck when I was 17, they helped me out. So I guess it all was a wash, huh?
In the end I was net positive many times over, so despite my anecdote, my answer is no.
But it wasn’t stealing. It was using funds as intended. And not all were used, as my parents cash rolled the rest.
I always saved. Once when in 5th grade or so, think very early 90s (it was when magnum engines came out in square body dodges), my parents needed to buy a car. They wanted zero debt and to pay cash. I had saved money, had many thousands in my passbook savings account. They took some at the time to pay cash for the car. I remember going with my mother to get it.
Years later I wanted to buy stuff and remember giving my parents a hard time over it. They didn’t cave when it was silly things that a teenager wanted.
But when I bought a new truck when I was 17, they helped me out. So I guess it all was a wash, huh?
In the end I was net positive many times over, so despite my anecdote, my answer is no.
Dad borrowed money and always paid it back plus 10%.
During my divorce, I discovered that the ex stole money off my kids....My parents gave each of them $5k at 5yo, and I added $20 a week to it. During property settlement, found it was all extracted, plus nasty letters that I'd stopped paying the kids what they were due (when I found it misappropriated).
Tore my heart out...
During my divorce, I discovered that the ex stole money off my kids....My parents gave each of them $5k at 5yo, and I added $20 a week to it. During property settlement, found it was all extracted, plus nasty letters that I'd stopped paying the kids what they were due (when I found it misappropriated).
Tore my heart out...
I saw this question elsewhere among a group of younger people and started thinking about how more mature folks would respond. I'm not talking about mom taking $20 for gas. Although I did siphon gas from mom's car when I needed gas for my dirt bike, and then put a gal back when I filled the jug. Drove her crazy as her MPG was all over the place and sometimes she was beside herself with joy when her Ford Fairmont 4cyl/4sp got 40MPG! (when I replaced the gas)
Anyway, did your parents in essence, steal funds that were set up for you? Mine did. My grandparents gave each of us (4 boys) a very modest college fund, which was put in savings, and they added to it each year, my contributions were on the order of 5c or so every so often. All 4 of the boys had their college funds 'used up' by my parents, through deliberate choices.
When I finally went to college, I was told to go to a cheap community college or state university. Western CT State Univ for a year (could not stand it, but could afford) and then ERAU in FL for 5 years. Full time, then part time as money allowed, via student loans and one heck of a financial struggle. Parents never paid a cent.
In the end I would not change a thing and it worked out perfectly. I had to fully make it on my own, which led to some fantastic college jobs, From a bouncer at the Oyster pub late at night to a machine shop and outboard marine racing tech/various auto racing and engine development tech jobs.
One of the cool jobs:
Although not my pic, this is pretty much what we tested (although very modified for racing from this). Two stroke racing engines on Hydrostream boats. The factory ported the engines and we tested oil ratios for maximum output (top speed) and usefulness. Among other tests. My job was to change powerheads and to drive the boats to ensure they were running well prior to testing. I never went over 80MPH as it terrified me.
Another cool job was dyno development of roller camshafts, that eventually ended up in this engine:
When I was in the 4th or 5th grade my mother threw my stamp collection into our wood burning stove as punishment for getting bad grades and lying to her about them. Those stamps may have been worth something today.
Being on BITOG I only ever heard your side of the story... but remember the story & you before you got married. You got screwed six ways to Sunday on that marriage, and not in the pleasant way. I'm just not sure you got screwed more than your kids did, I know your shoulders are pretty broad but I worry that your kids might never see past the mess dropped into their laps.
And if I remember you correctly, I'm still sad about your dad.
Your story continues to tear all of our hearts out.
I am so very sorry to hear of more evil action on her part.
Nick1994
$100 site donor 2024
The only thing stolen from me was childhood innocence.
Not that I’m aware of.
It’s sad reading some of the stories that parents would do such things. But such is life and in a lot of cases, probably most, kids that had a hard upbringing, grow up to be decent and hardworking people because they do not want to experience that kind of life.
Plus in a lot of these cases parents probably had a good reason to do what they did, but that gets lost over the years.
On the other hand, pampered and “stress free” upbringing seems to produce more selfish and narcissistic people, that think everyone owes them and they deserve things.
It’s sad reading some of the stories that parents would do such things. But such is life and in a lot of cases, probably most, kids that had a hard upbringing, grow up to be decent and hardworking people because they do not want to experience that kind of life.
Plus in a lot of these cases parents probably had a good reason to do what they did, but that gets lost over the years.
On the other hand, pampered and “stress free” upbringing seems to produce more selfish and narcissistic people, that think everyone owes them and they deserve things.
I kinda missed the point in the thread title, but see the point now.
No, nope.
Crazy stuff, closest case - are some beneficiary people on my aunt's side - "borrowed" money from their (my relation is mom's brother ie my uncle, passed first) (aunt -uncle married couple) large estate trust with zero intent to pay back this money. Well we had the last laugh - that exact amount, plus owed interest was deducted from their inheritance, that is how borrowing from trusts works. They got, almost nothing, and were angry, so they raided the house. Took all the furniture. Hilarious! Saved my brother and I trouble of clearing the house. Those greedy people had issues. Mostly greed!
No, nope.
Crazy stuff, closest case - are some beneficiary people on my aunt's side - "borrowed" money from their (my relation is mom's brother ie my uncle, passed first) (aunt -uncle married couple) large estate trust with zero intent to pay back this money. Well we had the last laugh - that exact amount, plus owed interest was deducted from their inheritance, that is how borrowing from trusts works. They got, almost nothing, and were angry, so they raided the house. Took all the furniture. Hilarious! Saved my brother and I trouble of clearing the house. Those greedy people had issues. Mostly greed!
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No, but my stepdad lied about finances and dragged my mom deep into debt and I never had any health insurance even though his job offered it. I firmly believe him denying her medical care is why she is dead now. I lost her last year at 65. She literally had strokes at home that she didn't get medical attention for, and I'd find out later about things like this. Luckily, he preceded her in death.
4WD
$50 site donor 2025
On the other hand - once you have paid in for decades - you might not get it back working to 70 - and some know that too …There was once a sense of pride in the USA to NOT take a penny of Gov assistance.
Today many people apply for everything on their 18th birthday.
