Did your parents ever cheat you out of money or steal money from you?

[Shel_B]

Yep. My mother cheated me out of my father's insurance money. I was 12yo when he died, my brother was 8yo, and my sister was 4yo. When he died, each of us kids received $40,000 from his insurance. My mom was, of course, the executor of the estate. I didn't know about this money.

Many years later, I asked my sister how she was able to get the down payment for her house, and she mentioned that when she turned 18 she received the $40,000. I think there was some interest or compounded funds in addition. My sister asked what I did with my $40,000 and I told her I never saw it or even heard about it. Further investigation showed that Mom took the money for herself.

When I was ready to buy my first house, she very generously gave me a "gift" of $10,000.

Over the years, ever since I was six or eight years old, I was aware of my mother's dishonesty. As an example, she would change price tags on items she bought at department stores (before the days of electronic pricing, a price tag was just pinned to an item making it easy to switch tags). There were many other incidents, but you get the picture.

 

[Cujet]

Love that race car. Is it a Can-Am car?

Yes a McLaren M6B. It's built like an aircraft (my aviation ties got me the job) and IIRC, is about 1300+ pounds and about 650HP. About 2 pounds per HP. I got to drive one on Sundays around an empty large industrial park. Whoo-Hooo that thing was fun. A beast of a car, and just a blast. When one is a HP Junkie road racer, literally nothing I could ever own back then beats a car like that.

Today, one can just buy a Plaid and get the same rush. Although the Can Am cars were faster up top and if geared for faster tracks could possibly reach 225mph, I never got going all that fast where I drove it.

 

[k1xv]

I feel cheated. I had a father who was morbidly thrifty. He wanted no mortgage, and didn't want to pay rent either. He had a good job, but we lived in a hovel in a terrible neighborhood. My mother would send me to the store to buy fresh food items, and I would get mugged on the way home. At age 7. We never went on vacation, I never went to summer camp, and was not allowed to join the boy scouts because they all cost money. He finally relented and we moved to a better location because I was about to transfer to a junior high school where kids were getting stabbed in the hallways. Though we lived near New York City and I was a baseball fan, the only people who ever took me to a game were fathers of friends and an uncle.

After we moved, my father had a mortgage, which upset him greatly. SO he worked over 60 hours a week at two jobs to pay off a 30 year mortgage in 8 years. Although I was a top notch student, he would only pay for the cheapest commuter college, and would not fill out the financial forms necessary to apply for financial aid to better colleges. He was also paranoid about disclosing personal financial information.

I realize that many grew up under conditions much worse than me. But my father's personality quirks made me unnecessarily grow up in poverty conditions when, in fact, it could have been much better.

 

[JeffKeryk]

@k1xv I have been taught to give up all hope of a perfect past.

 

[carviewsonic]

No, never anything unethical like that. My Dad had a serious illness as a kid which kept him hospitalized for two years, age 10 to 12. As a result he developed a strong ‘live for today, heck with tomorrow’ mentality. Had a very good career but spent excessively on many new cars and toys, to the point that monthly mortgage payments and bills were a source of financial stress. Observing this as a kid I believe taught me to be conservative with spending. He’s gone now, and I miss him. Thankfully he left a good pension for Mom.

 

[ATex7239]

No. But kinda. At least they did things to me that I wouldn’t do to my kids I guess.

Like my mom took my first physical paycheck at 16 years old (had cash only odd jobs prior) deposited it into her account and said it would “cover my bills.” Only did it that once though. Not sure what it meant to this day other than we were poor I needed to contribute. Maybe she was trying to teach me something. IDK. Also she needed my help financially a few years back so I was sending her money. Money I didn’t really have to spare. But you know it's my mom. Well, she took a nice little vacation while I was giving her money regularly. That caused quite a disagreement as you can imagine.

My dad never did anything like that. But as a young man he expected me to help out my siblings from time to time. He thought I owed him back for the times he helped me as a young adult and in turn said I should do things for my younger siblings as repayment. Keep in my mind though I never agreed to those terms. And many times I paid him back. Other times he said it was a gift. It was a really weird thing to do years later after the fact. Maybe he also was trying to teach me something. IDK.

I love my parents but they can be kind of self centered sometimes and often act on emotions.

 

[Leo99]

I feel cheated. I had a father who was morbidly thrifty. He wanted no mortgage, and didn't want to pay rent either. He had a good job, but we lived in a hovel in a terrible neighborhood. My mother would send me to the store to buy fresh food items, and I would get mugged on the way home. At age 7. We never went on vacation, I never went to summer camp, and was not allowed to join the boy scouts because they all cost money. He finally relented and we moved to a better location because I was about to transfer to a junior high school where kids were getting stabbed in the hallways. Though we lived near New York City and I was a baseball fan, the only people who ever took me to a game were fathers of friends and an uncle.

After we moved, my father had a mortgage, which upset him greatly. SO he worked over 60 hours a week at two jobs to pay off a 30 year mortgage in 8 years. Although I was a top notch student, he would only pay for the cheapest commuter college, and would not fill out the financial forms necessary to apply for financial aid to better colleges. He was also paranoid about disclosing personal financial information.

I realize that many grew up under conditions much worse than me. But my father's personality quirks made me unnecessarily grow up in poverty conditions when, in fact, it could have been much better.

It's difficult to let go of the bitterness of these things. My mother squandered a bit of money with poor financial choices and an eagerness to move to a nursing home.

My in-laws have also squandered a substantial sum but that inheritance is going straight to their grandson (my step son) so it doesn't affect me. Their tiny house is in a good location so it's worth a lot more than I'd pay for it.

 

[Rand]

Without oversharing.. yes

 

[ATex7239]

It's difficult to let go of the bitterness of these things. My mother squandered a bit of money with poor financial choices and an eagerness to move to a nursing home.

My in-laws have also squandered a substantial sum but that inheritance is going straight to their grandson (my step son) so it doesn't affect me. Their tiny house is in a good location so it's worth a lot more than I'd pay for it.

My in laws are that way. They are horrible with money and so deep in debt that I don’t know how they can even think retirement is an option. They always talk about “when we retire.” Meanwhile they take on more debt every year, spent any inheritance, and cash out retirement accts as soon as eligible to go on extravagant trips and buy expensive things. It’s delusional behavior. Also it’s a bitter idea that we will have to move them in with us one day because of their delusions.

 

[JeffKeryk]

My in laws are that way. They are horrible with money and so deep in debt that I don’t know how they can even think retirement is an option. They always talk about “when we retire.” Meanwhile they take on more debt every year, spent any inheritance, and cash out retirement accts as soon as eligible to go on extravagant trips and buy expensive things. It’s delusional behavior. Also it’s a bitter idea that we will have to move them in with us one day because of their delusions.

I just don't get the spending and debt thing. Money scares me. Scares the you-know-what outta me.
I've learned it is a whole lot better to be able to give a little than to need a little.

 

[UncleDave]

I had a college savings account, it vanished.
Neither mom or dad copped to it, but dad made mention once that it "wasn't my money anyway".

 

[ATex7239]

I just don't get the spending and debt thing. Money scares me. Scares the you-know-what outta me.
I've learned it is a whole lot better to be able to give a little than to need a little.

IDK. The idea of being broke and dependent on others like that scares the crap out of me. Some people are just more impulsive and carefree I guess.

 

[Cujet]

It would be interesting to see if the majority of 'wrongdoing' is by mom or dad. In my case it was my mother. Dad never recovered, was very ill from age 47 on, died early.

 

[JeffKeryk]

IDK. The idea of being broke and dependent on others like that scares the crap out of me. Some people are just more impulsive and carefree I guess.

I boil things down to basics. Short term thinking is a recipe for disaster.
I ask people, "What do you want?" Saying you wanna be financially secure and spending like crazy make an oxymoron.

"Invest in yourself!"

 

[AutoMechanic]

I mean a few times sort of and always dad never mom lol. I paid one time for a bunch of crap my dad wanted at Harbor Freight when he forgot his card and it was like $200 and he promised he’d pay it back same day and then I bought it and he’s like haha about that and pulls his card out of his shirt pocket and tells me remember all those toys you had as a kid and who paid for them you can pay me back now thanks. Needless to say I was livid and mom took her card from that account and went and got the money to give it to me and then my dad was mad saying that my money is also his I’m like yeah right at least I work unlike you because he works maybe one day a week and complains to no end about having to work. He’s stood me up a couple times but mom always makes it right even if it’s from her own account. When someone wants to mess with my money I don’t tolerate it.

We had a situation with one of my cousins where her kid had gotten about $50 total for his birthday and my cousin wanted to take him to the toy store and let him get things he wanted and her husband spent it all on alcohol during the week without telling her and they got into a fight which led to divorce. His argument was that kids don’t deserve money and they would never know anyway so she said when they get older I’m going to remind them of what their dad said. So then she took his credit card and went and maxed it out at the toy store for both kids and left him lol. We were mad too because for one it was wrong of him to do but also we had given him $10 of that money so we were super mad. Glad my cousin got back at him.

 

[Donald]

My parents were the most honest people I ever met. No college fund. They paid for my brother and my college out of their checking account.

We could have gone to Rutgers tuition free but did not.

 

[tbm5690]

Quite the opposite, and it is sad to hear these stories. I have been a part of multiple generations sacrificing for the next, not the other way around.

 

[andrew_j]

My dad is immigrant and believed strongly in education. My. Mum very honest.

No funds for college they wrote checks for state schools for us as kids. They made us work part time jobs starting ane 15 and save a third to teach financial discipline through college. All of us were financially independent graduating college and employeed.

 

[Bud]

Never.

 

[Cujet]

Quite the opposite, and it is sad to hear these stories. I have been a part of multiple generations sacrificing for the next, not the other way around.

Some of the stories are unfortunate, that's for sure. In my case, not only would I not change a thing, it was exactly what I needed. I was confident I could do it with good choices, hard work and the right jobs (often 2 jobs at the same time). It reduced the number of credits I could take in college, and dragged out my time there, but so what! I'd go back in a second and do it all over again. It was that much fun.

Come to think of it, I've had a great time since as far back as I can remember. I seem to find fun things to do.

Maybe I will try this next....