Boy, oh boy...did I ever step out of line tonight.

[javacontour]

Originally Posted By: Drew99GT
Originally Posted By: XS650


It is strange the way this thread has gone. The OP used a moderate amount of correction and got the desired result. If that is an indication of what it takes to get decent behavior from the child, The child is suffering from poor parenting and doesn't need drugs or beating.


Seriously. We're talking about one mild bad behavior incident from a 5 year old that possibly hasn't been disciplined enough. I don't know how that morphed into the child having ADHD and mental illness!



I helped take it down that path because I see so many children who are told they have those issues. I probably would have been diagnosed ADHD when I was a child.

Why?

Because I was bored stiff in school. Finally in 4th grade, my teacher recognized that I learned the material in about a nanosecond and she made sure I had material that CHALLENGED me and kept me interested. So I in essence finished 4th grade by winter break and went on to more advanced material.

How many ADHD kids are really bright children who are bored to distraction by the slow pace of public education?

How many need to run and play on the play ground and tackle one another and come back to the class room bruised and worn out so they don't have a bunch of energy they need to exhaust and are stuck in a class room.

I don't think we were meant to be kept inside and sitting idle for 9 hours a day when we are 5-13 or so years old.

Let the boys go outside and tackle each other until they are bloody and breathing hard, and then bring them back in for some math and some healing and rest.

I had to learn to channel my energy, to control my mind and my impulses. Drugging me wouldn't have done that. Suffering the consequences for my actions are what taught me a better way. That and the astute observations of a very old, very pentecostal teacher who would today likely be considered a child abuser.

I gave her a hug at the end of my 4th grade year. She was the first who really got me in an age where all the Dr Spock garbage was going around.

 

[Smokescreen]

Its a caring uncle that guides the child to behave in this instance. If the behavioral issue isn't rectified completely & soon by correct parenting, the kid is going to get 'tuned in' at school..... which is preferred?

 

[silverrat]

When you have children you can raise them the way you want. This is someone elses child and you don't have any business disciplining him even if his behavior bothers you. If you have an issue talk to the parents.

 

[Vizzy]

Originally Posted By: silverrat
When you have children you can raise them the way you want. This is someone elses child and you don't have any business disciplining him even if his behavior bothers you. If you have an issue talk to the parents.


Sure they can and then society has to deal with the fallout from these useless baby makers.

Obviously many times these mindless idiots that reproduce have no concept of having respect for their fellow citizens, neighbors, and family....by letting their out of control monster terrorize others ..

No sir...if a child interferes with my business at all..I will first try and speak to the parent, if that fails (and usually it does because they refuse to do what is necessary) I will speak to the little brat myself...

I like the Restaruant that recently banned unruly and noisy kids from their business..their business has exploded due to this action.

 

[OVERKILL]

Originally Posted By: silverrat
When you have children you can raise them the way you want. This is someone elses child and you don't have any business disciplining him even if his behavior bothers you. If you have an issue talk to the parents.


Do you have kids?

I ask because it is quite relevant to this conversation. I have three.

 

[jcwit]

Originally Posted By: silverrat
When you have children you can raise them the way you want. This is someone elses child and you don't have any business disciplining him even if his behavior bothers you. If you have an issue talk to the parents.


Do you have young children? How so they act in public and around adults? How do they act when shopping? Just asking.


BTW, I've raised my children and now have grandkids. If one of my girls "we had 2 girls" would have acted in the manner the OP described I would have taken care of it, not let it pass as his sis did. If for some reason I missed the misbehavior my brother would have had my blessing to correct the misbehavior. This would hold true in a school situation as well. However if this was a TOTAL stranger then we have a different ballgame.

I also go along with the resturant that banned loud misbehaving children, trouble is it to far away for my wife and I to go to.

 

[Pablo]

Originally Posted By: silverrat
When you have children you can raise them the way you want. This is someone elses child and you don't have any business disciplining him even if his behavior bothers you. If you have an issue talk to the parents.


This make zero sense. But does explain a LOT about American society in 2010. Kids can pretty much poke adults in the gonads with red hot pokers and get away scott free. And I actually believe some kids know this.

I'm not talking about strangers spanking your children, but an uncle......wow we are messed up, bad.

 

[Trajan]

I miss the good old days. Kid gets out of line, kid gets spanked. Nuns with the old rulers across the knuckles.

Now, parents get sued.

Once slapped a kid who told ne to F-off. When he cried "I'll tell my father!!", I said "Good, I'll slap him too."

Back in the day, you didn't dare talk like that to an adult. Let alone your own parents.... When did that change.

 

[OVERKILL]

Originally Posted By: Trajan
I miss the good old days. Kid gets out of line, kid gets spanked. Nuns with the old rulers across the knuckles.

Now, parents get sued.

Once slapped a kid who told ne to F-off. When he cried "I'll tell my father!!", I said "Good, I'll slap him too."

Back in the day, you didn't dare talk like that to an adult. Let alone your own parents.... When did that change.


It changed when the liberal retards decided the kids had to have the power, not the adults. Your parents spank you? Call Children's Aid!

There is a VERY BIG difference between discipline and child abuse. Apparently, those morons are too blind to see it. And think we are all too stupid to figure it out ourselves.

It is absolutely ridiculous.

 

[Trav]

You did the right thing.It sounds like your sister and her husband have issues not you.
If it were my kid he still wouldn't be able to sit down.

 

[hr1940]

When my grand daughter was young she would wave her hand and say "excuse me" every time she wanted to interrupt. One night she interrupted Tony 3 times and I informed her and her mom (our daughter) that she could wait for her turn to talk. Our daughter hit the overhead because each time she had said excuse me. I informed her they could go home and return only when they could let people finish their sentence without interruption. She came back a week later and we never had that problem again. We gave the grand daughter time to talk but did not cater to her.

I agree with the other posters that you did the right thing. Rude kids have never been welcome in our home.

 

[Shannow]

Originally Posted By: silverrat
No one mentioned that it isn't his child and it isn't his business how the child is raised, nevermind putting your hands on him. You had no right.


Shades of grey.

kid running towards road, modern parent reasoning with them, telling them that they need to stop and reconsider their actions.

Step in and stop the kid, or stand aside and let them parent ?

Kid colouring outside the lines, or wearing two left shoes...who cares.

Kid in question needs to realise that there are others in the world, who also have needs, wants, and cares...which will help him to understand a need, want or care when he gets to it.

Letting him understand that he's in someone else' space/face is a good thing.

 

[bradepb]

Although you were in the right I dont think you should have said anything, just visit less, you opened up a can of worms that is going to affect your relationship with sis and not help with the problem. If she asks why you dont visit you could delicately address the problem and that might help.

 

[sciphi]

Right thing. He needs to learn there are things not done when around others.

 

[KrisZ]

Originally Posted By: OVERK1LL
Originally Posted By: Trajan
I miss the good old days. Kid gets out of line, kid gets spanked. Nuns with the old rulers across the knuckles.

Now, parents get sued.

Once slapped a kid who told ne to F-off. When he cried "I'll tell my father!!", I said "Good, I'll slap him too."

Back in the day, you didn't dare talk like that to an adult. Let alone your own parents.... When did that change.


It changed when the liberal retards decided the kids had to have the power, not the adults. Your parents spank you? Call Children's Aid!

There is a VERY BIG difference between discipline and child abuse. Apparently, those morons are too blind to see it. And think we are all too stupid to figure it out ourselves.

It is absolutely ridiculous.


Also, add the fact that strangers can call cops on you for even raising your voice at the child and the response from other poster that OP "put his hands" in the kid, and you can see how much power everybody else has over the kids except their parents.

A couple of weeks ago I was on a public playground with my two kids, they were playing nicely, this time

, so it gave me some time to watch other kids and their parents. There was this one boy, that was running around and playing with other kids, everything was fine until his mother called him over to go home. He started running away from her and when she caught him, he would start kicking his legs and screaming. It went on for a bit but eventually his mother, very frustrated at this point, grabbed his arm strongly and raised her voice at him. To my amazement, right away stranger came out of nowhere and threatened to call caps on her, she was so frustrated at this point that she just told him to "censored" off and mind his own business.

These "good Samaritans" usually have no kids and therefore no clue what is going on and what happens once they call cops or child services. The have no idea how easily kids can be taken away from their parents and put in foster homes and basically ruin their lives. But they will go on living and thinking they did the society a favor.

 

[Gary Allan]

Originally Posted By: silverrat
No one mentioned that it isn't his child and it isn't his business how the child is raised, nevermind putting your hands on him. You had no right.


No mention that it wasn't the child's home. The child's parents had NO RIGHT to subject people to the child's behavior. Some would view it like taking a untrained dog out for a walk without a leash ..as offensive as that sounds.

Sauce for the goose

 

[ddrumman2004]

Let this be another vote for doing the right thing. The "good book" says is it best...""Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it from him."

Worked on us growing up.

I have a 12 year old son that tends to interrupt conversations but a lot of this is due to his autism. He is learning but still has a way to go. I also don't 'spare the rod' if he needs it as well. I do make sure he knows why he's being punished before I do anything to him...be it a spanking or grounding from his video games.

 

[doitmyself]

For all the people that have remarked "you did the right thing", how can you say that when the results were so disastrous? If it was the right thing, wouldn't better results bear it out?

Obviously, it was not the "right thing".

What is the best solution for this problem? Wouldn't it be for the child's parent to take responsibility to correct the problem?
And, wouldn't the right thing be to steer the parent to take the responsible action?

The OP's action treated the immediate symptom (I would have done the same thing under the circumstances), but not only didn't it cure the problem, it made things worse. How "right" is that?

The root problem still exists.....the parent. Granted, it would take an experienced, trained conflict mediator to really handle the true problem. I would suggest that the OP "steel the thunder" by apologizing in a way to get himself off the hook (keep up the good relations), yet force the issue of the parent taking responsibility to correct the problem.

FYI, I agree with raising children with the "old fashioned" values. Also, I want to meet the people here with the 2 cent advice, perfect solutions and see how perfect their lives are. They spout off in other discussions too about moral issues. I wonder who you people are that have perfect marriages, perfect children, perfect finances, perfect friendships, perfect careers, perfect cars (not lemon trannies!)? I want to meet you. Nearly everyone I know struggles through life quite a bit, one way or another.

Sorry for the off topic rant. It just seems that the self righteous come out of the woodwork on these issues.

 

[greenaccord02]

I'm not perfect, but I know when a child needs to be corrected. The child needed to be corrected. It's not the OP's fault that his sister didn't react in a reasonable way.

 

[Footpounds]

Originally Posted By: doitmyself
For all the people that have remarked "you did the right thing", how can you say that when the results were so disastrous? If it was the right thing, wouldn't better results bear it out?

Obviously, it was not the "right thing".

What is the best solution for this problem? Wouldn't it be for the child's parent to take responsibility to correct the problem?
And, wouldn't the right thing be to steer the parent to take the responsible action?

The OP's action treated the immediate symptom (I would have done the same thing under the circumstances), but not only didn't it cure the problem, it made things worse. How "right" is that?

The root problem still exists.....the parent. Granted, it would take an experienced, trained conflict mediator to really handle the true problem. I would suggest that the OP "steel the thunder" by apologizing in a way to get himself off the hook (keep up the good relations), yet force the issue of the parent taking responsibility to correct the problem.

FYI, I agree with raising children with the "old fashioned" values. Also, I want to meet the people here with the 2 cent advice, perfect solutions and see how perfect their lives are. They spout off in other discussions too about moral issues. I wonder who you people are that have perfect marriages, perfect children, perfect finances, perfect friendships, perfect careers, perfect cars (not lemon trannies!)? I want to meet you. Nearly everyone I know struggles through life quite a bit, one way or another.

Sorry for the off topic rant. It just seems that the self righteous come out of the woodwork on these issues.




+1 Perfect!