To quote a popular comedian..."You can't fix stupid".
You would be wise to just let it go.
You would be wise to just let it go.
Am I overreacting ?
- Thread starter 97tbird
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Originally Posted By: 97tbird
Thanks, all of you.
fortunately, we see her rarely - she is on FaceBook, though, so I still have to resist the urge to confront her that way - (I can think of some nice ways to do it, like pretend I still believe she has visited Japan and has a lot of experience and asking about her visit and then say "ohhh...so you have NOT seen Japan, so do tell, how did you decide it is trite..." etc etc...
BUT I think you guys are right; it's not worth it, and I need some anger management perhaps...
There is this awesome option you can use on Facebook. It's called "un-friending" her
Thanks, all of you.
fortunately, we see her rarely - she is on FaceBook, though, so I still have to resist the urge to confront her that way - (I can think of some nice ways to do it, like pretend I still believe she has visited Japan and has a lot of experience and asking about her visit and then say "ohhh...so you have NOT seen Japan, so do tell, how did you decide it is trite..." etc etc...
BUT I think you guys are right; it's not worth it, and I need some anger management perhaps...
There is this awesome option you can use on Facebook. It's called "un-friending" her
It will kill the urge
Originally Posted By: 97tbird
fortunately, we see her rarely - she is on FaceBook, though, so I still have to resist the urge to confront her that way - (I can think of some nice ways to do it, like pretend I still believe she has visited Japan and has a lot of experience and asking about her visit and then say "ohhh...so you have NOT seen Japan, so do tell, how did you decide it is trite..." etc etc...
BUT I think you guys are right; it's not worth it, and I need some anger management perhaps...
I'm pretty sure I know how you feel.
One of my high school teachers said -- only once, and it was burned in my mind -- that behind all anger is fear. I have never found a counterexample, and I think it's great advice. When I'm in a situation like the one you described, my initial reaction is usually some kind of anger, and I think it's because I feel threatened that someone so ignorant could have any say at all in a subject that is important to me -- let alone when someone close to me is involved.
I think it makes sense, honestly. And I've noticed that if I think about it rationally, I understand that if the person really is as ignorant as I think, there is no reason why that person should have any power over anyone whose opinion I care about. The only power they have is what they are given. When I remind myself of that, I don't get angry.
Now, sometimes I think I have something to gain by debating someone that I think is ignorant. It doesn't always work but occasionally it turns out they just have a different opinion and I can learn from it -- or learn that I am wrong -- by fleshing it out and debating with them. That's different.
fortunately, we see her rarely - she is on FaceBook, though, so I still have to resist the urge to confront her that way - (I can think of some nice ways to do it, like pretend I still believe she has visited Japan and has a lot of experience and asking about her visit and then say "ohhh...so you have NOT seen Japan, so do tell, how did you decide it is trite..." etc etc...
BUT I think you guys are right; it's not worth it, and I need some anger management perhaps...
I'm pretty sure I know how you feel.
One of my high school teachers said -- only once, and it was burned in my mind -- that behind all anger is fear. I have never found a counterexample, and I think it's great advice. When I'm in a situation like the one you described, my initial reaction is usually some kind of anger, and I think it's because I feel threatened that someone so ignorant could have any say at all in a subject that is important to me -- let alone when someone close to me is involved.
I think it makes sense, honestly. And I've noticed that if I think about it rationally, I understand that if the person really is as ignorant as I think, there is no reason why that person should have any power over anyone whose opinion I care about. The only power they have is what they are given. When I remind myself of that, I don't get angry.
Now, sometimes I think I have something to gain by debating someone that I think is ignorant. It doesn't always work but occasionally it turns out they just have a different opinion and I can learn from it -- or learn that I am wrong -- by fleshing it out and debating with them. That's different.
Amen!
You run into people who are both stupid and ignorant every day.
While everyone is entitled to an opinion, their opinion means little if uninformed by fact.
I would treat this as a private joke between you and your wife.
That is the way in which we usually deal with the uninformed. We have really come to appreciate the unintended humor that ignorant people provide.
You can even often goad them into making fools of themselves, should you feel the need to put them in their place before an audience.
You run into people who are both stupid and ignorant every day.
While everyone is entitled to an opinion, their opinion means little if uninformed by fact.
I would treat this as a private joke between you and your wife.
That is the way in which we usually deal with the uninformed. We have really come to appreciate the unintended humor that ignorant people provide.
You can even often goad them into making fools of themselves, should you feel the need to put them in their place before an audience.
Most important stuff about various countries is obtained through vicarious means.
Empirical experiences are mostly for bragging rights.
Even in our native countries, the important things are what we learn from many sources, NOT from personal experience.
But you can not sleep because of a trivial second hand comment that may or may not be accurate and is out of context ??
Whoa....
Empirical experiences are mostly for bragging rights.
Even in our native countries, the important things are what we learn from many sources, NOT from personal experience.
But you can not sleep because of a trivial second hand comment that may or may not be accurate and is out of context ??
Whoa....
So...this angers me to the point that I cannot sleep.
You need to do what it takes to get some sleep. You're over reacting. Go to counseling if you have to. It's only words. Do not let anyone else's words destroy you.
my wife is not terribly fond of her, but she tells me my anger is over the top
It sounds like it is to me too.
I really want to ask her "can you tell me what you based that comment on? why do you think Japan is "trite"? .
You're making a mountain out of a molehill. She didn't even say it to you personally. You're basing your anger on hearsay - something someone else *thinks* someone else may have said.
..perhaps it's because it's a popular tourist destination?
I don't plan to visit countries based on their popularity...she's a pretentious idiot who will never know what I know right now about the world even when she's old enough to die. I have 2 good friends from Japan, and they represent both the old and the new culture of Japan, which seems to be in such good balance, that it has always intrigued me.
so, shall I confront her, or let it go?
If you don't let it go, I have a feeling that you will *always* be angry at someone for some little thing. You know the saying "don't sweat the small stuff".
So what if she said something stupid? Lots of people say stupid things. Don't let it cloud up your day and night. Smile, and let it go. If you can laugh at it, you'll be waaaay ahead.
You need to do what it takes to get some sleep. You're over reacting. Go to counseling if you have to. It's only words. Do not let anyone else's words destroy you.
my wife is not terribly fond of her, but she tells me my anger is over the top
It sounds like it is to me too.
I really want to ask her "can you tell me what you based that comment on? why do you think Japan is "trite"? .
You're making a mountain out of a molehill. She didn't even say it to you personally. You're basing your anger on hearsay - something someone else *thinks* someone else may have said.
..perhaps it's because it's a popular tourist destination?
I don't plan to visit countries based on their popularity...she's a pretentious idiot who will never know what I know right now about the world even when she's old enough to die. I have 2 good friends from Japan, and they represent both the old and the new culture of Japan, which seems to be in such good balance, that it has always intrigued me.
so, shall I confront her, or let it go?
If you don't let it go, I have a feeling that you will *always* be angry at someone for some little thing. You know the saying "don't sweat the small stuff".
So what if she said something stupid? Lots of people say stupid things. Don't let it cloud up your day and night. Smile, and let it go. If you can laugh at it, you'll be waaaay ahead.
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