^^^ I like how expat thinks
And that's how id' feel too
Am I right or wrong?
- Thread starter BrownBox88
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I don't know what to tell ya. In my opinion, If he's an EX there was a reason for that. Me myself I have no use for any of my ex's just maybe for target practice. LOL just kidding. I think maybe you sould let her pay her respects. But if she makes a big deal about her ex croaking then I would be alittle upset. Just my 2cents.
Originally Posted By: Zaedock
I don't see a need to visit an old "boyfriend". Just my opinion.
We've been married a long time, but neither me nor my wife would have a desire to see an old flame, even if they were in the hospital. My $.02.
I don't see a need to visit an old "boyfriend". Just my opinion.
We've been married a long time, but neither me nor my wife would have a desire to see an old flame, even if they were in the hospital. My $.02.
Originally Posted By: QuOk
I would go with her just to punch him in the nuts when no one was looking
Chances are he'd be too drugged up to notice...that's me, Captain Buzzkill.
I would go with her just to punch him in the nuts when no one was looking
Chances are he'd be too drugged up to notice...that's me, Captain Buzzkill.
Originally Posted By: opus1
Originally Posted By: QuOk
I would go with her just to punch him in the nuts when no one was looking
Chances are he'd be too drugged up to notice...that's me, Captain Buzzkill.
Well then, if the guy was on life support, maybe the OP could trip on the cord and "accidently" pull the plug with his shoe as he is leaving....
(J/K folks)
Originally Posted By: QuOk
I would go with her just to punch him in the nuts when no one was looking
Chances are he'd be too drugged up to notice...that's me, Captain Buzzkill.
Well then, if the guy was on life support, maybe the OP could trip on the cord and "accidently" pull the plug with his shoe as he is leaving....
(J/K folks)
She can go to his funeral if he dies. People way too vulnerable when in time of need. AND they share friends so they would just all lie and cover up to you if they did connect on any level again.
Originally Posted By: expat
I have an Ex I still like very much, as in Best Friend, Our relationship ended amicably 30 years ago. We contact each other several times a year, and even vacation together. But in that case, my wife also thinks my Ex and her husband are nice people.
Your wife should be your best friend. Next to God there should be no other. Vacation with your ex?!?! And your wife is cool with that? I have to tell you man, that is weird.
I have an Ex I still like very much, as in Best Friend, Our relationship ended amicably 30 years ago. We contact each other several times a year, and even vacation together. But in that case, my wife also thinks my Ex and her husband are nice people.
Your wife should be your best friend. Next to God there should be no other. Vacation with your ex?!?! And your wife is cool with that? I have to tell you man, that is weird.
That's NOT weird, IMO - all based on mutual trust...
Like I said, though, not all people can achieve such harmony and trust
Like I said, though, not all people can achieve such harmony and trust
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Originally Posted By: 97tbird
Originally Posted By: aquariuscsm
Originally Posted By: BrownBox88
Me being myself, I do not have any sympathy for EX's at all. Regardless of any situation they might be in.
AMEN my brother! I TOTALLY agree with you 200%!
And why is that? I am just curious because you both said EX's in GENERAL, and not just 'Bad/weird' Ex's that you had bad experiences with.
Is it just because they are Ex's ? even if they were good people?
I guess what I mean is:
is 'being an ex' an automatic reason for not showing any sympathy towards them, even if they're normal/nice/good human beings that didn't do anything bad/wrong to you?
Well,for me it's just out of respect for my current gf. I'd never contact or be around someone whom I'd been intimate with,and/or in love with in the past. No matter if it was a good or bad breakup,you'll always have feelings or an attachment for this person,it's just human nature plain and simple. The past is the past,it has to be let go of to fully concentrate on the present and future.
Originally Posted By: aquariuscsm
Originally Posted By: BrownBox88
Me being myself, I do not have any sympathy for EX's at all. Regardless of any situation they might be in.
AMEN my brother! I TOTALLY agree with you 200%!
And why is that? I am just curious because you both said EX's in GENERAL, and not just 'Bad/weird' Ex's that you had bad experiences with.
Is it just because they are Ex's ? even if they were good people?
I guess what I mean is:
is 'being an ex' an automatic reason for not showing any sympathy towards them, even if they're normal/nice/good human beings that didn't do anything bad/wrong to you?
Well,for me it's just out of respect for my current gf. I'd never contact or be around someone whom I'd been intimate with,and/or in love with in the past. No matter if it was a good or bad breakup,you'll always have feelings or an attachment for this person,it's just human nature plain and simple. The past is the past,it has to be let go of to fully concentrate on the present and future.
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Originally Posted By: Kruse
Well then, if the guy was on life support, maybe the OP could trip on the cord and "accidently" pull the plug with his shoe as he is leaving....
(J/K folks)
Aww man you stole my idea haha
Well then, if the guy was on life support, maybe the OP could trip on the cord and "accidently" pull the plug with his shoe as he is leaving....
(J/K folks)
Aww man you stole my idea haha
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Originally Posted By: Zaedock
Your wife should be your best friend. Next to God there should be no other. Vacation with your ex?!?! And your wife is cool with that? I have to tell you man, that is weird.
^^THIS. Zaedock said it best. Live by these words. Your wife should be your one and only lover,best friend,and confidant. No ifs,ands,or buts about it.
Your wife should be your best friend. Next to God there should be no other. Vacation with your ex?!?! And your wife is cool with that? I have to tell you man, that is weird.
^^THIS. Zaedock said it best. Live by these words. Your wife should be your one and only lover,best friend,and confidant. No ifs,ands,or buts about it.
Originally Posted By: aquariuscsm
Well,for me it's just out of respect for my current gf. I'd never contact or be around someone whom I'd been intimate with,and/or in love with in the past. No matter if it was a good or bad breakup,you'll always have feelings or an attachment for this person,it's just human nature plain and simple. The past is the past,it has to be let go of to fully concentrate on the present and future.
Very well said!
Well,for me it's just out of respect for my current gf. I'd never contact or be around someone whom I'd been intimate with,and/or in love with in the past. No matter if it was a good or bad breakup,you'll always have feelings or an attachment for this person,it's just human nature plain and simple. The past is the past,it has to be let go of to fully concentrate on the present and future.
Very well said!
I think your wife has something called compassion...
It depends on the circumstances of the breakup. If one party did the other wrong, probably not. If it was mutually agreed upon, then perhaps, if both are mature adults, I can see it happening.
I can see it getting there after time. My MIL and late FIL had patched things up 20+ years after their divorce. They both came to family events with their respective new spouses and things were more than civil.
But it often takes time. If there was bad behavior, then a real apology is in order.
For example, my ex-wife thinks her affair and lying to me was justified because she wasn't happy. I'm willing to accept that she wasn't happy, and there were things I could have done better. But as long as she justifies her deceitful behavior with this, I don't see us becoming even civil. If she were to say she was unhappy, but how she chose to approach it was hurtful, destructive and she was wrong to lie to me by both keeping her unhappiness a secret by saying everything was fine, and then by lying about the affair, I could see things getting better.
But as long as she views it as all my fault, I don't see how anything can get better.
So it's how the folks view and handle their part in the breakup of the relationship. If they take responsibility for their actions and are genuinely remorseful for their bad behaviors, I think a peaceful new relationship can form. If they steadfastly hold to the view that it wasn't their fault, but all the other person, there is little hope for a positive relationship in the future.
Originally Posted By: Whitewolf
Originally Posted By: Quattro Pete
Is it possible for two people to remain friends after they've broken up?
I don't think so normally.
I can see it getting there after time. My MIL and late FIL had patched things up 20+ years after their divorce. They both came to family events with their respective new spouses and things were more than civil.
But it often takes time. If there was bad behavior, then a real apology is in order.
For example, my ex-wife thinks her affair and lying to me was justified because she wasn't happy. I'm willing to accept that she wasn't happy, and there were things I could have done better. But as long as she justifies her deceitful behavior with this, I don't see us becoming even civil. If she were to say she was unhappy, but how she chose to approach it was hurtful, destructive and she was wrong to lie to me by both keeping her unhappiness a secret by saying everything was fine, and then by lying about the affair, I could see things getting better.
But as long as she views it as all my fault, I don't see how anything can get better.
So it's how the folks view and handle their part in the breakup of the relationship. If they take responsibility for their actions and are genuinely remorseful for their bad behaviors, I think a peaceful new relationship can form. If they steadfastly hold to the view that it wasn't their fault, but all the other person, there is little hope for a positive relationship in the future.
Originally Posted By: Whitewolf
Originally Posted By: Quattro Pete
Is it possible for two people to remain friends after they've broken up?
I don't think so normally.
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Originally Posted By: volk06
Any Updates?? Did she go?
^^2nd,yes,we want updates.
Any Updates?? Did she go?
^^2nd,yes,we want updates.
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I will update you guys ASAP tonight with every detail but for the meantime, she's been up there Sunday, Tuesday and yesterday and she will be there today. We talked about it and she said that its nothing to do with feelings coming back, it's the fact that he is a human being in need of support and his family needs all,the support they can get. The way I handled it made other things not related to this, even worse and it's at a point of divorce but I will discuss that in a different topic.
Going to make a new post, there are other things that have unopened now.
Going to make a new post, there are other things that have unopened now.
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