Originally Posted By: dnewton3
The grand irony here is how society would have us "treat" anyone with a disability. I'm going to take the long way around the block to get to my point, so bare with me.
- On the one hand, we're told that normal people should accept those whom are disadvantaged (mental or physical) as one of the same; part of the group; make them feel included and welcome.
- OTOH, we make all manner of special considerations for those who are disadvantaged (special entry points and bathrooms, parking places, easier access to all manner of things).
Frankly, one of my greatest pet-peeves is human hypocrisy.
If the disabled want to be treated equally (and I'm not saying that's wrong), then it should apply to ALL MANNER OF INTERATCTIONS WITH THE BULK OF HUMANITY.
- Don't tell me you're my equal, but then cut in line in front of me with your wheelchair, at the movie theater line.
- Don't tell me you're my equal, but then get a special parking place because your time and daily events are somehow more important than mine
- Don't tell me you're my equal, but then get tax breaks for expenditures regarding conditions that I didn't impose upon you; life is just unfair sometimes and I should not have to pay for your misfortune
- etc, etc, etc ...
If you (or your loved one) is "Special Needs", then fine by me, act that way. But along with that comes the burden of knowing you're not "normal" and won't fit in well everywhere.
If you (or your loved one) wants to "fit in" and be considered normal, that's perfectly OK with me, too. But ACT ACCORDINGLY. Don't demand/utilize special privileges.
Comedian Carlos Mencia (fame has come and gone) had a great bit where he made fun of the mental/physically disabled. His mantra was that if you want to be part of the "in" crowd, you take the bad with the good. You don't demand to be treated as an equal, and then act all butt-hurt when someone pokes fun at you in a playful way. And believe it or not, every single event he played at always had a group of "special needs" people that WILLINGLY ATTENDED, not in protest, but in solidarity of his comedic approach. They appreciated the fact that he DIDN'T treat them differently, and he made fun of them just as he made fun of other ethnic groups (including his own), nationalities, social groups, etc. His point was that if you want to belong to the norm, you don't ask for special considerations; you suck it up and overcome with extra efforts. True respect isn't given away in pity; it's earned despite your disadvantage.
In regards to this thread, the adult parent is the real problem here. He wants to "fit in" and play along with society by joining in a "normal" spin-class, and yet bring along his son whom presumably cannot conform to traditional values. This is no different than bringing a crying baby into a movie theater, and then expecting all the other paying patrons to "deal with it". How is the rudeness any different if instead of a crying infant, it's a loud, smelly 20 year old with a disorder? The CHILD is not being rude here; the PARENTS are being rude by expecting others to give up their comforts. Why should my movie or dining experience be tainted by your misfortune? While I am saddened for you, should the entire theater or restaurant suffer because you want a night out?
I'm a big believer in peaceful protests; civil disobedience if you will. (Not riots or destruction). Perhaps the OP can get several other class members whom feel the same as he, and go to management. Tell them that if they don't address the issue, they will take their memberships elsewhere. Nothing gets attention like a lack of revenue! Perhaps the answer is to approach and work WITH, rather than against, the family. Get with the admin staff at the Y and ask if they can put together one or two nights a week for "special needs family night" where two things are known:
1) anyone with a special needs family issues can come to the Y and be among others as a support group; swimming, spinning, raquet ball, etc
2) anyone that does NOT want to deal with those issues, can just not head to the gym on that evening(s) each week
Human hypocrisy. Can't live with it; can't make fun of it.
PS - before you go all Postal on me and tell me I'm a heinous person, just know that I dated a girl for quite some time, whom had an Autistic younger brother living with her, and we included him in many, many activities. But we were also cognizant of the challenges that caused others. Outbursts in movies and restaurants, etc. I would not allow my own healthy children to disrupt the lives of others in a socially unacceptable manner; why should I accept that from anyone else?
dnewton3:
It sounds like you would be the type of guy who would demand service from a "normal" person. This is my son. Sorry he annoys you.
Scott
http://www.ksby.com/story/35436861/atascadero-man-a-lesson-in-joy-resilience