I don't really understand your objection to my statement, and how that relates to your son? It seems to me that your son has adapted well, incredibly well in fact, to the world around him. He seems well adjusted, in control, contributes in a meaningful manner, and likely understands/obeys the rules of "civil" behavior. Why would you think that I would find annoyance in him? The only thing I would "demand" from him is the same amount of competency I'd expect from any other employee at HD. (In fact it seems to me, from the video comments, he's probably ABOVE the average HD employee in reality). I don't really understand how you're using the word "demand" in your sentence. Are you using is as if it's an expectation of competency? Then, yes, I demand your son be competent to do the job he was hired to do. But it seems incredibly obvious he's not only competent, but excels. So I don't understand why you think I would find him annoying? - Some folks use special-needs (their own, or that of a close family member) as justification to be "different", and act without due regard for the general public and civil obedience and cultural norms. These are the folks who want to cut in line in movie theaters, amusement parks, etc by using the handicap as their leverage. They want special parking. They want tax breaks. They want to segregate themselves when it pays them a dividend, but then they will howl if they are asked to conform to a social norm. - Other folks with those same special challenges find a way to fit in, make the extra effort to conform, and while they will always be "different" in some manner, they are also to be admired for the moxie they put forth, and ability to overcome and achieve despite the disadvantages life handed them. They are cognizant of the disruptions that they occasionally cause, and do their best to eliminate, or at least mute, the effects of such. I decry the former; I applaud the later. There are considerations for disadvantaged folks that seem fair, reasonable and worthwhile. For example, handicap parking spots need to be larger to accommodate some forms of modified conveyance. Vans and trucks with special access lifts, etc, need a larger parking space. I have no problem with that. But why should all the HC spots be right up next to the entry/exit points? Am I supposed to believe that the harried and frantic daily life of a special-needs family is any more hectic or important than my life? That the 15 minutes they have to run into the CVS is any more precious than the 15 minutes I also have, prior to getting to my next appointment? I have no problem with larger parking spots for HC vehicles; that makes sense. I have heartburn when folks believe their lives are more important or deserve greater consideration than mine. Your disadvantage in life is not a valid excuse to cause one in mine. If life were truly "fair", then the HC spots would be randomly situated in the parking lot. Your HC van would have the same random luck of getting a "good spot" near the door as do I upon arrival at the mall. Example ... 300 parking spots in a lot. 2% are designated HC spots (total of 6). Rather than put all 6 up at the doors, they should be scattered about in the lot. Perhaps two near the door, two midway out in the lot, and a couple of them way far off. After all, that's how life deals parking spots to me! Why should you get premium parking at all times? I will never consider a special-needs person "normal" if they always leverage their disadvantage into an advantage over me. Same goes for waiting in line at theaters, amusement parks, etc. If you want me to consider you an "equal", then by gosh you'll wait your turn just like everyone else does in line. There are amusement parks that give out special privilege cards to special-needs families. Those families get to cut to the front of every line. So in effect, they get "double" the value of their money (or more) because their ability to ride many park features far surpasses mine. They might get to ride 45 features in a day, whereas I may only get to ride 20 in a day, because they cut the line at each opportunity. Am I to be considered a monster just because the manner in which I value my minutes in life as no less important than yours???? That my dollars spent are just as valuable as yours???? If that establishment gives you that advantage, is it not a sense of pity, the implication being that you're incapable of dealing with life in a normal manner???? I would no more tolerate a "normal" family cutting in line; why should I do it for you? I would honk my horn at a family walking in the middle of a drive-lane in the Walmart lot; why would I not honk at you for rolling your wheelchair in the same manner? Your special-needs disadvantage is a reason for me to be considerate towards you AT THE SAME LEVEL as I would extend to anyone. But it's NOT, and I repeat NOT NOT NOT, a justifiable reason for you to be "above" other folks, regardless of anyone's abilities or disabilities. If you want me to consider your "normal", then by gosh act like it! If you want to fit in, then by golly do so! When you or your kid causes a disruption, don't act as if it is society that is out of whack! The dichotomy, the hypocrisy, is that we treat special-needs folks differently, then pretend like they are normal. Your ability to deal with problems should not be predicated on laying it over on me. I have a mother with cancer, a father deeply affected with Alzheimer's, and a son with emotional control issues. Just because some family's concerns manifest in some outward physical manner, does not mean other families don't suffer in some other very debilitating way not as easily seen. We don't get to cut to the front of a line, or get a special parking spot, or preferential seating, etc. I am not bitter than we have problems; it's just the way life happens. I am willing to admit that I get irritated when some folks think their problems in life somehow usurp mine to a point where their disadvantage actually becomes an advantage over me and my family. Like I said, I'm not immune or inexperienced in this manner. I dated a girl that has an Autistic brother; we included him as much as possible in many activities, but there were times we had to make concessions in our lives so that we didn't disrupt other folks in public. Further, my wife spent several years teaching in a special-needs school. Now, my daughter is in college learning the same trade; she will work with special-needs kids for a career, too. But we have a pragmatic view in my family. Your rights as a human being, even being special-needs, do not trump my rights, nor confer unto you the ability to be disruptive outside of what normal society expects. Having/living with a disability is not a credible justification to act without due respect for ALl society, and the norms therein.
Originally Posted By: SLO_Town
dnewton3: It sounds like you would be the type of guy who would demand service from a "normal" person. This is my son. Sorry he annoys you. Scott http://www.ksby.com/story/35436861/atascadero-man-a-lesson-in-joy-resilience