Originally Posted By: Cristobal
"Growing up" is not what it is about. "Manning up" no longer holds water. Shaming men does not work these days.
It has nothing to do with "intelligent" women. The system for men is hostile, corrupt, and oppressive. As a result of this, more and more men are opting out.
The times have changed. Marriage for men these days has huge risk of false paternity, prison, loss of career, loss of assets, loss of future, and homelessness. And the rewards are much less.
Exactly! Men are crucified in divorces now and lose everything even if they did nothing wrong.
My best friend growing up now has to live outside the US to avoid a corrupt system that took everything from him( home, money, and kids - he left when it tried to take his freedom )with NO justification. He was a good Dad and husband who had a good job and lived for his family. No abuse accusations of any kind levied against him in the divorce proceedings( it's the ONE thing she didn't lie about and the ONE dirty trick she didn't use ).
She decided she wanted out( and as it turns out to be with another she had been cheating on my friend with )and wanted everything. The marital Master gave it all to her, took everything my friend had worked so hard for from him, took his kids away, levied impossible fees and payments on him( and some long after he originally said he wouldn't then he back dated them ), and then tried to throw him in jail when he couldn't pay. My friend had to flee the country and will never be able to come back.
And before anyone says it is an isolated incident let me assure you it is NOT! The way the system works is the woman gets everything no matter if the guy was good and decent or not. The man no longer needs to be a cheater, drunk, abuser, etc... He just needs to be the man( good or bad ). Doesn't matter what she may have done either. The guy will lose it all and still have to pay her.
Will that happen 100% to every guy? No. I am sure there are still a lot of good women out there( somewhere, really, there must be... ). My best friend's ex fooled everyone before showing her true colors though and that is how so many work these days. The problem is once you find out it is too late. You are screwed!
As another poster mentioned earlier there are blue prints out there now for women to get a husband they can sink their claws into and then profit financially in the divorce. I think my friend fell victim to the starter husband setup frankly. Good job and good guy. Latched onto him and got rid of her credit card and student loan debt, got a nice house, built up time living to a certain standard, and finally had kids to complete the scheme. She got the house, the kids, ALL the money, his stocks and retirement, and she even got child support even though she earns 100K+ a year in her job. Again, she claimed no abuse of any kind. She just wanted out and wanted it all. She got it too.
The world we live in is not the same one our parents and grandparents were in when looking to get married. In my family marriages lasted until death do us part( one exception but the person remarried and is nearing 40 years with the new wife ). People looked to get married and stay married. If things don't work out they fought hard to make it so but in the end if a divorce was needed it was usually a peaceful one. That is NOT the norm today.
A man has to be evry careful if he takes the plunge. Very careful.
