On being a Bachelor

[surfstar]

Originally Posted By: GMFan
26 year old bachelor here...

That's not a 'bachelor', that's called being 26! You shouldn't be married so young.

A few generations ago people did not have sex prior to marriage and now people expect it after a few dates.

Yep - its called three strikes and you're out.

A few generations ago men and women married quickly after the peak of puberty and there was no need to act like a dog in heat at 26 years old.

Humans used to reproduce in their teens and died in their 30s and 40s. Life has been drawn out over the centuries. The whole 20s-30s bar scene is nothing but modern society's mating rituals.

The hippies wanted people to be free and do what felt right...now we see the result.

I'm not going to touch this line.



It sounds like you were just 'born a couple generations too late'. That's fine, as those are what your values are, and there are others out there who will agree and you'll get along with. Not wrong, just different from mine - likely from where/how we were raised, etc.

 

[Clevy]

Originally Posted By: GMFan
26 year old bachelor here...Congrats to the folks who are happily married for 20-30+ years but times have changed. Feminism has destroyed the concept of marriage for me.

The fact of the matter is women want to be on the pedestal with men and want identity which means career is more important than settling down etc. However as natural they want and put out for sex like alley cats in the clubs meanwhile and men find they can get it without marrying. Hence why buy the cow when the milk is free. It's not rocket science. A few generations ago people did not have sex prior to marriage and now people expect it after a few dates. A few generations ago men and women married quickly after the peak of puberty and there was no need to act like a dog in heat at 26 years old. The hippies wanted people to be free and do what felt right...now we see the result.

Enjoy what you've sown.

I'm proud to be a man, working with my two hands, seeing the fruits of my labor and enjoying what I've earned. I like getting dirty, shooting guns, drinking whiskey or beer on the weekends and a cigar. I like making my own decisions. I like speaking my mind and don't care who I offend. I don't always like sharing my feelings and I don't like to complain about things in my life...I will work to fix them rather than complain. These used to be normal traits for a man. Today I'm likely to be defined as cold, unfeeling, insensitive, dirty and chauvinistic pig.


Exactly what generation waited for marriage for sex. Rose coloured glasses for sure.

People are people and don't kid yourself,we haven't changed much as far as mating rituals are concerned.
The good ole' days weren't that good,and you aren't that old.

 

[NHHEMI]

Originally Posted By: Clevy


Exactly what generation waited for marriage for sex. Rose coloured glasses for sure.

People are people and don't kid yourself,we haven't changed much as far as mating rituals are concerned.
The good ole' days weren't that good,and you aren't that old.


My Grand Parents and Parents generation for the most part waited. I know my Parents did. They instilled values in their children and my siblings all waited for marriage as well.

 

[Clevy]

Originally Posted By: NHHEMI
Originally Posted By: Clevy


Exactly what generation waited for marriage for sex. Rose coloured glasses for sure.

People are people and don't kid yourself,we haven't changed much as far as mating rituals are concerned.
The good ole' days weren't that good,and you aren't that old.


My Grand Parents and Parents generation for the most part waited. I know my Parents did. They instilled values in their children and my siblings all waited for marriage as well.


My mother is a good catholic. I'd like to think she waited as well. Most small towns here are of very strong faith but the cities are the devils spawn,and I am confident people were getting some.
I'll bet statistically the numbers are nearly the same as far as abstinence goes. They were better at hiding it years ago,or they got married very young.

 

[Jarlaxle]

Yes...my grandmother was 17 when she got married!

 

[brave sir robin]

Originally Posted By: Jarlaxle
Yes...my grandmother was 17 when she got married!


my grandmother was 13
in fact My father is closer in age to my grandmother (my moms mom) than my grandfather is to her.
good ol days indeed...

 

[mjk]

Same age range as you, same status. I feel like George Costanza - free your mind of sex, and you become a genius... ha ha.

Originally Posted By: bustednutz
I like many of you are a bachelor. 42, never married, no kids. Sure I've been in many relationships but never walked down the aisle. Now understand I don't have anything against marriage or its institutions. I simply have not felt that type of desire to take those steps or embark on that kind of life. I get scorned by some for it. Sexuality questioned for it. Envied by friends and coworkers for it as well.
I find that the freedom I enjoy is rather liberating and having a disciplined, yet unrestricted lifestyle is tremendous to my own personal happiness.
I've had several long term relationships that ran their course. And moved on. No hard feelings. I still am in touch with several of them.

But I found something out in my mid to late 30's..........those women that wouldn't give me the time of day in my early to mid 20's are now desiring my company more then ever. I guess those early years of them getting all dolled up and going out to the clubs and bars in their search to nab that "hot" guy didn't go quite as planned. Many landed what they thought were the studs of their day, only to be seriously let down upon realizing that he couldn't hold a job or the eye of another was caught by him. As the years have passed they all separated, got divorced or ran out on. Maybe its a Gen-X thing. I don't know.
Now on another note, there are also many that are still in happy and successful marriages. My life long friend is one of them.
I've also found out that this crazy thing called Facebook had brought out the "frisky" and "flirty" behavior of many in my age group. Upon joining FB in its early years I found that many women I went to college with and High School with would chat me up more than usual once they found out about my marital status. Or what my "baggage" status was. Mind you, about half of these women were/are married as well.
Those same women that wouldn't give me the time of day were now asking me to lunch, coffee, dinner, etc... Needless to say it was quite a surprise. But I realized that the tables had turned. Many of lifes hard realities had hit them hard and brought them down a few notches. You may ask yourself if I had taken advantage of this new found asset. The answer is yes, and no.
I love the company of women but I have to draw the line on some things. Single, divorced, separated women are a go. Married and living with their spouse is a no. Regardless of how miserable they are. But believe me, I have been very tempted.
But back to being a bachelor. Its not always easy. There are lonely moments, some regrets and holidays are a b!tch some years. But at this point in life I still have not had that desire to settle down. Someday I may regret it, but better to be alone and happy than with someone and miserable.
Discuss....................

 

[wander2039]

I was a bachelor until 26 I figured that was enough. Bored and doing some things are better with another person. Wasn't really looking at the time but somehow met my wife. She is a import I guess you could say.. the non-imports didn't hold a candle to her. Hard working and doesn't expect anything given to her. You never know how selfish you are till you're married. Hard habit to break. We're at 7 years and she may turn batty by the time the boys leave.

 

[VeeDubb]

Just to defend modern American women a bit, I'm married to a girl from Virginia. Your standard American girl. And she is well educated and had a career and has good values. I consider her my friend and equal and I love it. Life is interesting that way.

I have dated foreign girls in the past - almost married one. While she had strong "traditional values" she was also less independent, wasn't as straightforward in communication and couldn't break out of traditional ways of thinking (had all kinds of rules of thumbs for how husbands, wives, and kids "should" behave). In the end, I was just bored for lack of a better word. I don't want to marry for sex or for someone to cook for me or clean my house. I can get all these things outside of marriage. I want to be with someone who is interesting to be around and a friend for life.

This is not to bash women with traditional values - my only point is the grass is not always greener on the other side. Nothing is ever all upside or downside.

 

[surfstar]

Originally Posted By: VeeDubb
I don't want to marry for sex or for someone to cook for me or clean my house. I can get all these things outside of marriage. I want to be with someone who is interesting to be around and a friend for life.


Good quote.

 

[brave sir robin]

Originally Posted By: surfstar
Originally Posted By: VeeDubb
I don't want to marry for sex or for someone to cook for me or clean my house. I can get all these things outside of marriage. I want to be with someone who is interesting to be around and a friend for life.


Good quote.


I think most guys actually want this very thing.
I'm 35 been single for the last 7 years I have had my hands on more than my fair share of women. I cannot remember the last time a girl said something remotely insightful or interesting while I was talking to them. It's usually the same type nonsense about Kim K this or w/e. Most of the girls I come across do not have any type of real hobby aside from getting color in their hair or other stereotypical nonsense.
I tend do get along with older women much better than the younger ones but its pretty difficult to have kids with a woman in her mid 40's.

I really do not want to come off as some type of misogynist its just that the vast majority of girls I find are all variations of the same thing.

 

[wrcsixeight]

I have no qualms being labelled a misogynist. More accurate would be misanthrope. I am an equal opportunity humanity disliker.

While I have no longer have any expectations of finding a woman to share the rest of my life with, I hardly wanted some meek housewife to be my servant. I wasn't looking for the traditional role for either gender.

I wanted a teammate to see the world with, share experiences with, grow old with, but I've given up on this. All women I've met within the last decade are obsessed with status, wealth and the display of it. Making their girlfriends jealous via material possessions and bragging rights seems to be their biggest motivating factor in each and every decision.

Hearing them talk of their girlfriends, they sound more like enemies. I don't get it. Seems so incredibly two faced.

My biggest issue with women of this culture these days is they treat men like servants. We are just buffoons, easily manipulated to be their slaves, all because it is easier to agree with them and give in rather that counter their shortsighted demands/plans with logical decision making accounting for emotion and greed and looking past both.

It then devolves from the pointless power struggle into something much sicker and twisted which benefits nobody.

No thanks. I have no needs, physical or emotional, great enough to deal with that excrement.

So be it.

 

[brave sir robin]

Originally Posted By: wrcsixeight
I have no qualms being labelled a misogynist. More accurate would be misanthrope. I am an equal opportunity humanity disliker.

While I have no longer have any expectations of finding a woman to share the rest of my life with, I hardly wanted some meek housewife to be my servant. I wasn't looking for the traditional role for either gender.

I wanted a teammate to see the world with, share experiences with, grow old with, but I've given up on this. All women I've met within the last decade are obsessed with status, wealth and the display of it. Making their girlfriends jealous via material possessions and bragging rights seems to be their biggest motivating factor in each and every decision.

Hearing them talk of their girlfriends, they sound more like enemies. I don't get it. Seems so incredibly two faced.

My biggest issue with women of this culture these days is they treat men like servants. We are just buffoons, easily manipulated to be their slaves, all because it is easier to agree with them and give in rather that counter their shortsighted demands/plans with logical decision making accounting for emotion and greed and looking past both.

It then devolves from the pointless power struggle into something much sicker and twisted which benefits nobody.

No thanks. I have no needs, physical or emotional, great enough to deal with that excrement.

So be it.





what part of California do you live in? It seems we have similar experiences LOL

 

[surfstar]

^^ For both of the above guys - So Cal women are [mostly] horrendous. Best ones I've met are transplants. Rare to meet a native who doesn't fit the Cali female stereotype. Luckily a college town attracts many outsiders.

 

[Smokescreen]

I guess I am old school, I found a pretty, virtuous woman who had the same values as I did and got married in our early 20's. I dated quite a few before finding her. I can't imagine life without her, with kids our joy has expanded and we will live on through them.

I have to admit a good virtuous woman is worth more than rubies these days. It is worth keeping your eye open for however long it may take. Marriage though isn't for everyone though.

 

[brave sir robin]

this is an actual very recent txtversation I had with a girl I have known for years.

her: My life is falling apart. I'm in an abusive relationship and in love with an emotional terrorist!

me: define emotional terrorist

her: He's always yelling at me and making me feel small. He accuses me of cheating and generally makes me feel bad for telling him things aren't right.

me: why are you with someone that abuses you?

her: It didn't start out like this at first it was amazing.

her: He really stroked my materialism!

me: by stroked your materialism you mean he bought you stuff right?

her: yes! he was big into brand names n going on trips

her: cut me some slack I was married to a loser and it was nice being spoiled *her ex husband was in construction and we all know what happened in that business.

me: wow all you need now is for him to have a criminal record and you could have hit the stupid girl trifecta!

that pretty much ended the conversation until the next day when she up n sent me dirty pics

 

[Donald]

Originally Posted By: bustednutz
I like many of you are a bachelor. 42, never married, no kids. Sure I've been in many relationships but never walked down the aisle. Now understand I don't have anything against marriage or its institutions. I simply have not felt that type of desire to take those steps or embark on that kind of life. I get scorned by some for it. Sexuality questioned for it. Envied by friends and coworkers for it as well.
I find that the freedom I enjoy is rather liberating and having a disciplined, yet unrestricted lifestyle is tremendous to my own personal happiness.
I've had several long term relationships that ran their course. And moved on. No hard feelings. I still am in touch with several of them.

But I found something out in my mid to late 30's..........those women that wouldn't give me the time of day in my early to mid 20's are now desiring my company more then ever. I guess those early years of them getting all dolled up and going out to the clubs and bars in their search to nab that "hot" guy didn't go quite as planned. Many landed what they thought were the studs of their day, only to be seriously let down upon realizing that he couldn't hold a job or the eye of another was caught by him. As the years have passed they all separated, got divorced or ran out on. Maybe its a Gen-X thing. I don't know.
Now on another note, there are also many that are still in happy and successful marriages. My life long friend is one of them.
I've also found out that this crazy thing called Facebook had brought out the "frisky" and "flirty" behavior of many in my age group. Upon joining FB in its early years I found that many women I went to college with and High School with would chat me up more than usual once they found out about my marital status. Or what my "baggage" status was. Mind you, about half of these women were/are married as well.
Those same women that wouldn't give me the time of day were now asking me to lunch, coffee, dinner, etc... Needless to say it was quite a surprise. But I realized that the tables had turned. Many of lifes hard realities had hit them hard and brought them down a few notches. You may ask yourself if I had taken advantage of this new found asset. The answer is yes, and no.
I love the company of women but I have to draw the line on some things. Single, divorced, separated women are a go. Married and living with their spouse is a no. Regardless of how miserable they are. But believe me, I have been very tempted.
But back to being a bachelor. Its not always easy. There are lonely moments, some regrets and holidays are a b!tch some years. But at this point in life I still have not had that desire to settle down. Someday I may regret it, but better to be alone and happy than with someone and miserable.
Discuss....................


Your kids pick out your nursing home. Who will pick out yours?

I have been divorced twice with the 2nd being from a psycho giving ugly divorce a new meaning.

However the joy my two daughters bring me (and grand kids) is immeasurable. And I could not even teach them how to fix a car like I could if I had a boy.

No regrets.

 

[xfactor9]

Originally Posted By: Clevy
Originally Posted By: NHHEMI
Originally Posted By: Clevy


Exactly what generation waited for marriage for sex. Rose coloured glasses for sure.

People are people and don't kid yourself,we haven't changed much as far as mating rituals are concerned.
The good ole' days weren't that good,and you aren't that old.


My Grand Parents and Parents generation for the most part waited. I know my Parents did. They instilled values in their children and my siblings all waited for marriage as well.


My mother is a good catholic. I'd like to think she waited as well. Most small towns here are of very strong faith but the cities are the devils spawn,and I am confident people were getting some.
I'll bet statistically the numbers are nearly the same as far as abstinence goes. They were better at hiding it years ago,or they got married very young.


Uhh, every woman I've slept with was unmarried and the majority were catholic or christian. They were good at hiding it from their friends or family though. For instance, when we'd travel and sleep together, they would tell their friends/family they were traveling with their gf. Or that they were traveling with their bf but we stayed in seperate rooms. Lol... their family had no idea

 

[xfactor9]

Originally Posted By: wrcsixeight

I wanted a teammate to see the world with, share experiences with, grow old with, but I've given up on this. All women I've met within the last decade are obsessed with status, wealth and the display of it. Making their girlfriends jealous via material possessions and bragging rights seems to be their biggest motivating factor in each and every decision.

Hearing them talk of their girlfriends, they sound more like enemies. I don't get it. Seems so incredibly two faced.

My biggest issue with women of this culture these days is they treat men like servants.


wow, that's exactly what I experience.. I suspect you are dating the same type of women I date: young, beautiful and high-maintenance. It's the downside of going after the top-1% type of girl. They know they have lots of options so they become divas with a selfish attitude.

There probably will be a day I finally settle down, but I will look for a different type of girl than I am now. Right now I only want a woman who's hot and fun. In the future, I want responsible, honest, selfless and above-average looking (admitedly hard to find such a woman)

 

[HM12460]

Originally Posted By: GMFan
26 year old bachelor here...Congrats to the folks who are happily married for 20-30+ years but times have changed. Feminism has destroyed the concept of marriage for me.

The fact of the matter is women want to be on the pedestal with men and want identity which means career is more important than settling down etc. However as natural they want and put out for sex like alley cats in the clubs meanwhile and men find they can get it without marrying. Hence why buy the cow when the milk is free. It's not rocket science. A few generations ago people did not have sex prior to marriage and now people expect it after a few dates. A few generations ago men and women married quickly after the peak of puberty and there was no need to act like a dog in heat at 26 years old. The hippies wanted people to be free and do what felt right...now we see the result.

Enjoy what you've sown.

I'm proud to be a man, working with my two hands, seeing the fruits of my labor and enjoying what I've earned. I like getting dirty, shooting guns, drinking whiskey or beer on the weekends and a cigar. I like making my own decisions. I like speaking my mind and don't care who I offend. I don't always like sharing my feelings and I don't like to complain about things in my life...I will work to fix them rather than complain. These used to be normal traits for a man. Today I'm likely to be defined as cold, unfeeling, insensitive, dirty and chauvinistic pig.







Amen brother! I'm 52 and loving my single lifestyle.