Since I've celebrated my 30th wedding anniversary, I'm asked from time to time what the secret is, as if I must be some wise oracle for having made it this long.
There are no secrets. A good marriage mostly requires two people who are completely committed to each other and completely committed to their commitment (or vows). That's it.
The problem is finding those two people. First, you have to examine your own heart. Are you able to make such a commitment? What if your beautiful young wife has a disfiguring accident six months after your marriage? What if, after a few years, you meet a woman who is better looking, sexier, and more fun than your boring old wife? What if, for whatever reason, you find that you can't make a living? These are just a few of the hard questions that people face. Then there are family and in-law issues that can be very difficult.
These, and other issues are commonly faced by married people. This is not just a product of our modern world; it doesn't take much reading of history to find that the relationship between men and women is fraught with trouble. Women have often felt saddled with unappreciative, cold, and even abusive men. Men, likewise, have often seen their wives as shrill harpies, or sexless matrons.
But the principles remain. If a man and woman are truly committed, it can work, especially in our modern society where we are not handcuffed with arranged marriages. Some of the arranged marriages in the past worked out because of the beliefs that the partners held. Some were not so good, obviously.
I don't want to sound like I'm blowing my own horn in terms of being a happily married man. My wife's faith, courage, and commitment have been amazing. I still don't really know what she sees in me. I consider my marriage more of a blessing than an accomplishment; i.e., I often say that I tried to marry the wrong woman, but God (if I can use the "G" word) gave me the right one.
Nonetheless, the basic principles are simple. Putting them into practice is another story.
There are no secrets. A good marriage mostly requires two people who are completely committed to each other and completely committed to their commitment (or vows). That's it.
The problem is finding those two people. First, you have to examine your own heart. Are you able to make such a commitment? What if your beautiful young wife has a disfiguring accident six months after your marriage? What if, after a few years, you meet a woman who is better looking, sexier, and more fun than your boring old wife? What if, for whatever reason, you find that you can't make a living? These are just a few of the hard questions that people face. Then there are family and in-law issues that can be very difficult.
These, and other issues are commonly faced by married people. This is not just a product of our modern world; it doesn't take much reading of history to find that the relationship between men and women is fraught with trouble. Women have often felt saddled with unappreciative, cold, and even abusive men. Men, likewise, have often seen their wives as shrill harpies, or sexless matrons.
But the principles remain. If a man and woman are truly committed, it can work, especially in our modern society where we are not handcuffed with arranged marriages. Some of the arranged marriages in the past worked out because of the beliefs that the partners held. Some were not so good, obviously.
I don't want to sound like I'm blowing my own horn in terms of being a happily married man. My wife's faith, courage, and commitment have been amazing. I still don't really know what she sees in me. I consider my marriage more of a blessing than an accomplishment; i.e., I often say that I tried to marry the wrong woman, but God (if I can use the "G" word) gave me the right one.
Nonetheless, the basic principles are simple. Putting them into practice is another story.
