It says we love reading about some crazy guy marking his territory in an extremely unsettling but rather humorous way.
In college, when people would pull in from a night of partying and park like an [censored]-hat, me and my cohorts issued them a "citation"...typically in the form of a rather nasty if not impromptu note (napkins anyone?). If the aforementioned driver once again displayed their ignorance of common parking etiquette, we would resort to more serious, if not primal forms of retribution. This typically included, but was not limited to, urination, vandalism of the correctable kind (removing wiper blades), Vaseline on the door handles, window paintings (removable window chalk), hundreds of post-it notes expressing our displeasure over their parking endeavors in a very tactful way, psychological warfare (using "official" public safety parking citations that didn't actually mean anything, but they only realized this after going to the public safety office to cry about it), Caution tape + cones + a chalk outline roughly resembling a human, and in one rare instance half of a rather LARGE birthday cake smeared on the vehicle...which unbeknownst to us would remain parked for several weeks, resulting in a MASSIVE ant infestation.
I actually felt kinda guilty about the last one....so many ants...
Anyways, as you can see, retribution in such a manor is certainly not limited to the OP. I'm sure there are others on this forum who have descended to lesser levels when negotiating issues of similar importance, but alas few will dare mention such acts in this thread. I only do so because the above described deeds occurred long ago, and where usually fueled by some form of potent spirit.
Being slightly older yet tremendously wiser, I now realize that the best way to handle such situations is to wait in a dark shadowy corner with a roll of duct tape and tools capable of cutting through bone. This way one need not stoop to vandalizing a persons innocent vehicle...
ANYWAYS...
The OP ever solve his parking problem? I didn't get past the first page...[censored] in the cowling is just messed up.