I just don’t get it….

[JimPghPA]

There are other ways of obtaining situational awareness and maintaining speed and course with respect to where you have to go besides getting in a vehicle that has a lot of horsepower and being out in traffic with other vehicles. One of the best that I know of is teaching that person to sail a small boat. It helps if the person knows how to swim and is not afraid of being out on the water. A neighbor of mine and I taught his daughter to sail my 18 ft Chrysler buccaneer. After several Summers of sailing she became very proficient at maintaining a course and looking far ahead at landmarks to realize whether or not the boat was staying on course or not. The day that she got her learner's permit her mother and her and her younger sister went on a road trip to see the Grand Canyon and she drove most of the way. That's from Pittsburgh PA to the Grand Canyon. The father had to work and flew out to meet them after they got there.

Or as others have suggested bicycle, ATV, or something similar might be a good start. Even a rowboat with a little gas motor on the back would be something to let her handle for a while to get an idea of how to maintain course and make turns. Sailing is a lot more challenging but it does provide a good skill.

 

[jetman]

My wife wasn't cut out to teach our daughter how to drive and she knew it. So, I took on that task 100%. No problem for me. She did good.

My point is "are you sure you're cut out for the job?"

 

[Leo99]

Great on you for adopting her. A 17 year old girl that's been in foster homes can be a challenge. If her driving is her biggest problem, she's doing very well. How you teach her and interact is more important the actual driving lessons. Mother dying and father abandoning her has to be a huge mental and emotional baggage. Wishing you guys the best!

 

[RyanY]

Take her to a local go cart track. This may help her realize the importance of slowing before turns, distance to stop, etc without risking any if your cars. It's not the same as a real car, but the principles are the same.

My daughter started in a go cart at age 14. At 15-1/2 (driving age in SC) she was very comfortable at the controls, at which point we introduced a manual transmission.

 

[SubieRubyRoo]

Mr. Roo, if you have access to an atv and some space or as mentioned above a bicycle this will help with spatial awareness INMHO.

She’s got a bike, and I don’t have enough insurance (life or health) to put her on an ATV with a clear conscience.

We’ll continue a little bit at a time out in the country away from innocent bystanders for awhile. Wish there was someplace around here that had reasonably priced carts; the only place around is an hour ten away and charges basically $1.25/min for driving time. If I’m spending that kind of money it’s going to be a 2-day, track-based multisurface multicondition training. I’m a huge believer in learning how to handle your vehicles not just in optimal conditions, but really poor conditions where the car does not respond normally to inputs. Hydroplaning, snow, loose gravel, those kinds of things.

 

[JavierH19]

Adopting a 17 year old is a real great thing you did. And it's a real shame to hear all that she's been through. That's just sad. Honestly I'd just pick like a Saturday or Sunday where there ain't that many cars on the road and I'd probably drive farther away to like a small town or something like a more relaxing countryside and just let her rack up miles and time and slowly but surely get more comfortable. I would be very careful in general and in giving feedback because well you know just don't want to you know stress out a young driver. It only makes things worse. Just try to be real kind about it.

 

[AZjeff]

Yes, retired a few years ago. Being a lawyer doesn't mean you can escape justice.

Didn't mean get your brother off if he was at fault but if the other guy was pulling an injury scam... dad couldn't stop it?

 

[CleanSump]

Is a driver's ed company not an option? Maybe just to start until she gets the scariest stuff under control so that you are comfortable being the teacher/coach?

Congratulations on choosing to be a real dad. You're taking on a lot with a 17 year old! I wish you wisdom and patience.
#1 Girl was only ten when she adopted me and the choice has totally made my life. Bumps, no matter how bad, end up behind you. The rewards are ahead.

P.S. When she was 16 I took her out to an empty lot in the snow and ice to learn how to handle the sliding and all. It was fun and she was better prepared to go out on the road. (Small town, I called my bud the deputy to make sure it was cool first.)

 

[skyactiv]

Didn't mean get your brother off if he was at fault but if the other guy was pulling an injury scam... dad couldn't stop it?

My brother was at fault. There are attorneys on both sides. My dad didn't represent his insurer or have anything to do with the case. It's not simply a matter of who's the best attorney. The guy supposedly had whiplash. All you need to do is get medical attention after an accident and lawyer up if you want to gain the system, which people do. My dad didn't, but some lawyers will refer you to certain DR's and chiropractors.

Ringing in the ears/tinnitus can make bank. Look what this client got in the link.

Shipman & Goodwin LLP

Our client was struck from behind by a cement pumping truck causing her to sustain: (1) an inner ear concussion resulting in a 5% loss of hearing and tinnitus; (2) a mild traumatic brain injury that…

www.shipmangoodwin.com

 

[SubieRubyRoo]

My wife and I already have 3 boys and 6 grandkids, so this new daughter is not the first go-round. It’s just a learning curve for both my daughter and me- her, because her birth dad was never really one even before abandoning her, and me because I not only have to navigate her baggage but also figure out different ways to communicate what she needs to understand about spatial awareness and defensive positioning. Also, trying to understand how she must be target-fixating or something; she can be staring straight ahead, eyes open… and yet be heading literally straight towards the ditch!

And yes, as I said, I want to get her some winter skills but we haven’t had enough snow cover- I’d happily take her to the HS parking lot where there’s no poles or curbs and set her loose in the Impreza. Few things are as satisfying as learning how to drift and slide a car while in control, and few things are actually more protective of life and property than being able to do this. My first discussion is always “look to where the safety is, not at what you might hit”, learned from Keith Code and which has saved my derrière a handful of times. We’ll get there, eventually, together… it just blows my mind at how different teenage girls’ brains are compared to teenage boys’ brains

 

[Snagglefoot]

My cousin’s son and daughter in law adopted a young native child that had gone from foster home to foster home. She had FASD ( fetal alchohol spectrum disorder). It turned out she was quite a handful and the parents were at wits end. My cousin, who is in her early 60’s stepped up to the plate and adopted her. No way was she going to let that little girl return into the system.

 

[GON]

My wife and I already have 3 boys and 6 grandkids, so this new daughter is not the first go-round. It’s just a learning curve for both my daughter and me- her, because her birth dad was never really one even before abandoning her, and me because I not only have to navigate her baggage but also figure out different ways to communicate what she needs to understand about spatial awareness and defensive positioning. Also, trying to understand how she must be target-fixating or something; she can be staring straight ahead, eyes open… and yet be heading literally straight towards the ditch!

And yes, as I said, I want to get her some winter skills but we haven’t had enough snow cover- I’d happily take her to the HS parking lot where there’s no poles or curbs and set her loose in the Impreza. Few things are as satisfying as learning how to drift and slide a car while in control, and few things are actually more protective of life and property than being able to do this. My first discussion is always “look to where the safety is, not at what you might hit”, learned from Keith Code and which has saved my derrière a handful of times. We’ll get there, eventually, together… it just blows my mind at how different teenage girls’ brains are compared to teenage boys’ brains

SRR,

You mentioned high school lot for driving instruction. Another location I have used to train my now adult children on driving were office complexes, plants, etc.... that were not used on weekends. Locations of these types often offer a lot more terrain and opportunities to stop, turn, etc.

One really out of the box idea- find out when your state patrol is doing training for executive protection (governor) detail. Tell the Captain in charge of the Governor's protection detail the story about your Daughter. I bet he would have her on their driving course doing all kinds of confidence building driving activities. You have resources out there- it just takes some work to identify them.

I am confident she will be a competent driver as you give her various training opportunities!

 

[wlk]

Sounds like too many nights playing grand theft auto video games taught her already. Congratulations for the adoption and helping your daughter out. The driver's ED training school sounds like a good place to start.

 

[Chris142]

Dang that's scary. Don't know if you ever saw this video I posted before. This is my then 13 yr old cousin in my Jeep.