I just don’t get it….

[SubieRubyRoo]

I put this in the humor section because if I can’t laugh about it, I’ll cry…

So my wife and I adopted a just-turned-17yo girl in August. Her mom died when she was 6, her dad signed her over to the state for her 12th birthday. She’d been in DCS care since. All sad. So one thing we’re doing is working on her learner’s permit. All I can really say is that I’ve done a whole lot of really stupid things at much higher speeds in my life, but yet every time we go more than a mile from the house, this girl manages to terrify the brown right into my shorts!

There’s no situational awareness; maintaining speed AND staying in the (correct) lines seem mutually exclusive. Out here in the country, she doesn’t seem to understand that those mailboxes on the shoulder are MUCH closer than they appear. Acceleration varies between watching paint dry and a cannonball; stops vary between overshooting a 90* turn by a car length or catching the last arresting wire on an aircraft carrier. There’s definitely never any dull moments!

And if you wonder why I’m telling you here, it’s because I’m being a good dad and being constructive with my criticism during the rollercoaster. One thing is safe to say though, even after she’s licensed and insured on her own, there’s no way in Hades she’s going to be driving my vehicles anytime before she’s 30!

 

[SC Maintenance]

Good for you and congratulations on the addition to your family.

Situation awareness is probably part of the issue. She has probably been bounced around so much in her life that she is used to just keeping her head down.

Just don't give up - that sounds like what everyone else has done. She will get there.

 

[JayhawkRoy]

Great that you adopted her. A good driver education program should help out with her issues. Sometimes being Dad means handing over parts of the the education process to really qualified people. Everyone of my kids and grandkids received driver's education from the local school district. I recommend the same here.

 

[GON]

Awesome you are investing in this young person- kudos.

Something I think all young people should do is take a motorcycle safety course. Regardless of if one ever plans on riding a motorcycle.

Might be a great daddy-daughter team building activity and provide a much higher level of road situational awareness. Might even transform her driving abilities.

 

[Wrenchturner44]

Ditto, to everything GON just said.

 

[SubieRubyRoo]

Awesome you are investing in this young person- kudos.

Something I think all young people should do is take a motorcycle safety course. Regardless of if one ever plans on riding a motorcycle.

Might be a great daddy-daughter team building activity and provide a much higher level of road situational awareness. Might even transform her driving abilities.

The motorcycle safety class (and reading Keith Code) is actually what I credit my survival to date on.

I’m already scanning HPDEs to take her to; I don’t think a regular class has enough hands-on.

 

[skyactiv]

Does she know how to ride a bicycle?

 

[97K15004WD]

I highly recommend letting a driver training course teach her. Keep peace in the family, someone else takes the lead. I did it four times, and have always been thankful it worked.

Something along the lines of: If i say it, "oh dad, whatever". Instructor says it, she takes it to heart. We did Baldwin's Driving Training - very happy with the results.

Local community college teaches defensive driving here for like 99.00. Great course to have too.

Course Description

 

[mrsilv04]

I worked with a lady who was in her 30's, seemed perfectly normal... didn't seem to have any sort of a problem with alcohol or drugs... but had no driver's license. It took months, but the perfect time to spring the question as to "why" arrived. I felt that I had worked with her long enough that she wouldn't be offended, and would know that I was asking a genuine question.

Why? She explained that she was terrified of other cars/drivers, when behind the wheel. She continued that if she was the only person on the road... she'd be fine.... and when she is in the passenger seat, she's fine.

The point.... not everyone is cut out to posess a driver's license. Some people are happier/better off without one.

Good luck in your endeavor here. Hopefully some level of skill will build over time.

EDIT: Are you sure that there is no possible medical reason for this? Forgive me... but was she possibly exposed to drugs/alcohol before birth...does she have good eyesight, no issues with motor skills? Seems that there could be something deeper at play here.

 

[mrsilv04]

Does she know how to ride a bicycle?

LOL. They ask that question in the beginner's class, for learning to ride a motorcycle.

Those who fail to answer the question honestly, expose themselves as being dishonest with their answer very quickly.

 

[Oillover]

The point.... not everyone is cut out to posess a driver's license. Some people are happier/better off without one.

Exactly.
Sometimes ya just gotta accept things as they are and work from there.
Maybe in the future she'll decide to try again under her own motivation, or maybe not.

 

[JeffKeryk]

Strength, my man.

 

[ecotourist]

My mother tried to learn to drive. There were all sorts of driving adventures when we lived in the country when I was a kid. I wouldn't ride with her.

In her later life she took driving lessons. One day she told me she had driven 30 miles (on a lightly traveled 2 lane highway), "And didn't freeze up at the wheel once." She finally gave up, which in her case was wise.

My daughter had a slow start (probably the usual slow start) but has become an excellent driver. She took driving lessons through her school.

 

[skyactiv]

I remember in high school there was always a student getting into a dumb accident. Over 30 years ago, my elder brother rear ended someone at 16 in a gen 3 Firebird and the guy ended up getting $32K and wasn't even hurt according to my brother.

 

[AZjeff]

I remember in high school there was always a student getting into a dumb accident. Over 30 years ago, my elder brother rear ended someone at 16 in a gen 3 Firebird and the guy ended up getting $32K and wasn't even hurt according to my brother.

Isn't your dad a lawyer?

 

[Dinoburner]

Mr. Roo, if you have access to an atv and some space or as mentioned above a bicycle this will help with spatial awareness INMHO.

 

[skyactiv]

Isn't your dad a lawyer?

Yes, retired a few years ago. Being a lawyer doesn't mean you can escape justice.

 

[Jethro_Bob]

Out here in the country, she doesn’t seem to understand that those mailboxes on the shoulder are MUCH closer than they appear.

My mom thought the same thing when i was learning to drive after she spent 35 years behind the wheel. She had no clue she was yelling at me to drive head first into on coming traffic until I responded with "roll down the window and stick your head out and look down."

Somehow my driving was considered 1000% better after she tried it.

 

[carviewsonic]

I agree with the posters who advised you sign her up for a driver’s ed course. Did that with each of our kids and was pleased with the strong emphasis placed on defensive driving. Thought the courses were money well spent. I took the kids driving as well, but the courses were a help. Plus, the kids didn’t pick up all of my bad driving habits.

 

[jetman]

Practice, Practice, Practice

Have her eyes checked too maybe?