A Joke

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Yesterday I was at my local Food Lion buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the
Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a
dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired
and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet
and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina
Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food

is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here
that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a
car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack
he was Laughing so hard.

Food Lion won't let me shop there anymore.


Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to
think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired
friends...it will be their laugh for the day!
 
I am amazed at how many times I will be in line with 3 bags of cat litter and someone will say "how many cats do you have?" Uhhhhh...three. Duh! Maybe I should tell them I'm on a cat litter diet!
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John
 
Originally Posted By: John_K
I am amazed at how many times I will be in line with 3 bags of cat litter and someone will say "how many cats do you have?" Uhhhhh...three. Duh! Maybe I should tell them I'm on a cat litter diet!
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John
lol on that
 
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