My sisters eat like their rich, I dont want to

[Boatowner]

In my part of the world, if someone invites others to a dinner party, that person is the host and pays for everything.

For Independence Day, my sister invited everyone down to second cousins to her new beach "cabin" to celebrate. She suggested others could bring salads, deserts or whatever, but no one was told their share was any amount of money. The food was pretty good quality stuff too. In my case, I brought the Excalibur (expensive fireworks illegal in most states, the party was in Washington), not because I was asked to, she never said a thing.

I would skip a dinner invitation from anyone that comes with a price tag.

But, no one has any manners any longer.

 

[jcwit]

And we've reached the point where Heaven Forbid we should offend anyone, gracious be!

 

[Carnoobie]

Originally Posted By: joaks
Carnoobie: do your parents support you finacially? You mentioned something along the lines of your sisters thinking you were spoiled or similar.
What is the relationship like between sisters and parents?


Unfortunately, my parents support me with a place to stay and in-house food - dinners mainly but I pitch in with groceries and buy a lot too.

Yes my sisters know Im spoiled, always have been cause my parents let me get away with a lot of stuff (like free rent). Theyre relationship to my parents is fine but they dont like the fact that my parents spoil me.

Originally Posted By: Toy4x4
Is there a specific reason why, at 31, you are living with your parents?
I think this may be part of the issue if your parents are not having any issues. You only mention "mom", but say parents...???
Your sister may think you are freeloading and not making a life for yourself.
Are you employed?
It sounds like they are trying to "teach you a lesson".
If I'm off on my observations, then they should be told flat out: If I'm invited over, are you going to charge me? If so, I'll eat beforehand.
What do the brothers-in-law think about this?
Any other reasons they treat you like this? That is, if its not revealing too much about your personal life.


I stay with my parents cause I cant afford to live on my own and plus being at home allows me to save more and cuts my expenses so I can put more money towards bills. I havent had stable work for years, been working dead end jobs for 10+ years now and no right now Im not working. Have been looking and should have something soon hopefully.

My brothers havent said anything about my sisters charging cause i havent asked them. If it was them inviting im pretty sure they wouldnt charge me though.

Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette


Is your older sister very successful ?



Well shes a stay at home mom but when she worked yes she was successful Id say.

 

[antiqueshell]

Maybe I didn't read closely enough, why are you still living at home if you are over 30? Have you ever lived outside your parents house on your own dime? Just curious.

 

[Carnoobie]

Originally Posted By: antiqueshell
Maybe I didn't read closely enough, why are you still living at home if you are over 30? Have you ever lived outside your parents house on your own dime? Just curious.


Cause I cant afford to live on my own mainly due to not having stable enough work for the past 10 years. I could be working a 3 month job then unemployed for the next 2. Ive never lived on my own.

 

[andrewg]

Originally Posted By: Carnoobie
Originally Posted By: antiqueshell
Maybe I didn't read closely enough, why are you still living at home if you are over 30? Have you ever lived outside your parents house on your own dime? Just curious.


Cause I cant afford to live on my own mainly due to not having stable enough work for the past 10 years. I could be working a 3 month job then unemployed for the next 2. Ive never lived on my own.

After finding out that you live with mommy and daddy at 30 years old, and that you say they spoil you....I can understand now why your sisters feel the way they do. They think you are a free-loader.There is ample reason to think that this is actually a fact. There is ZERO excuse (from what you've said) for living at home for 30 years. ZERO. I don't really blame your sisters for wanting money. They are trying to tell you that they DO NOT accept your lifestyle and that they WILL NOT contribute to it. You need to stop living at home. It does not matter how hard it is to find work. Get two or three jobs. Wash dishes...wait tables....work in a warehouse, etc. If in all this time you have not realized that you are a sponge, then I suppose nothing will help you. You've posted on this board before about wanting a relationship with a female (you've got to be joking because no good woman would EVER desire a guy that can't pick himself up enough to move out of his parents house at 30). There is a lot that you have not disclosed up until now. The life you are leading amounts to a big NOTHING. Get yourself in gear now and stop making excuses. You should feel ashamed of yourself for not doing SOMETHING with your life by now. To be honest your sisters are disgusted with you. And if you had enough courage to look into the mirror and realize WHY they feel this way, you would have done something.
I don't know what on earth to say to a fella like you.

 

[jcwit]

Originally Posted By: andrewg
Originally Posted By: Carnoobie
Originally Posted By: antiqueshell
Maybe I didn't read closely enough, why are you still living at home if you are over 30? Have you ever lived outside your parents house on your own dime? Just curious.


Cause I cant afford to live on my own mainly due to not having stable enough work for the past 10 years. I could be working a 3 month job then unemployed for the next 2. Ive never lived on my own.

After finding out that you live with mommy and daddy at 30 years old, and that you say they spoil you....I can understand now why your sisters feel the way they do. They think you are a free-loader.There is ample reason to think that this is actually a fact. There is ZERO excuse (from what you've said) for living at home for 30 years. ZERO. I don't really blame your sisters for wanting money. They are trying to tell you that they DO NOT accept your lifestyle and that they WILL NOT contribute to it. You need to stop living at home. It does not matter how hard it is to find work. Get two or three jobs. Wash dishes...wait tables....work in a warehouse, etc. If in all this time you have not realized that you are a sponge, then I suppose nothing will help you. You've posted on this board before about wanting a relationship with a female (you've got to be joking because no good woman would EVER desire a guy that can't pick himself up enough to move out of his parents house at 30). There is a lot that you have not disclosed up until now. The life you are leading amounts to a big NOTHING. Get yourself in gear now and stop making excuses. You should feel ashamed of yourself for not doing SOMETHING with your life by now. To be honest your sisters are disgusted with you. And if you had enough courage to look into the mirror and realize WHY they feel this way, you would have done something.
I don't know what on earth to say to a fella like you.


Now its starting to come out, you're unable to pull your own weight.
I to lived with my Father and Mother, however the cercomstances were entireally differend. Mom was in her later 40's when I was born, Dad was 8 years older and in his fifties. When I returned home from the service I made a promise I was able to keep, neither of them ever went to an old folks home. But I more than paid 1/2 of the property taxes, home insurance, electric bill, water bill, gas bill, grocery bill, ALL expenses I paid over half.

 

[jcwit]

Originally Posted By: jcwit
Now its starting to come out, you're unable to pull your own weight.
I to lived with my Father and Mother, however the cercomstances were entireally differend. Mom was in her later 40's when I was born, Dad was 8 years older and in his fifties. When I returned home from the service I made a promise I was able to keep, neither of them ever went to an old folks home. But I more than paid 1/2 of the property taxes, home insurance, electric bill, water bill, gas bill, grocery bill, ALL expenses I paid over half.

After both parents passed 30 some years ago I settled the estate with my 2 brothers to the satification of all 3 of us. I then met a wonderful lady who I married and raised 2 wonderful daughters. I'm now retired and still am able to fully support myself and my wife.

You sir need to find a paying permanent job, and not only get some backbone but learn to stand on your own 2 feet. I have no sympathy for you.

 

[mechanicx]

I don't think you staying at your parents house is an excuse or that they think you are spoiled by your parents is any excuse for what your sisters are doing.

I'd like to know if your brothers-in-law know that their wives and your sisters are charging you. And also do your sisters have jobs? Are their husbands paying half, three fourths, maybe for all this fancy food that your sisters charge only you for?

I think your sisters are just flat jealous that you are your parents baby. I'd bet if you moved out and got a good job it would change nothing that they're doing.

 

[andrewg]

Originally Posted By: jcwit
Originally Posted By: jcwit
Now its starting to come out, you're unable to pull your own weight.
I to lived with my Father and Mother, however the cercomstances were entireally differend. Mom was in her later 40's when I was born, Dad was 8 years older and in his fifties. When I returned home from the service I made a promise I was able to keep, neither of them ever went to an old folks home. But I more than paid 1/2 of the property taxes, home insurance, electric bill, water bill, gas bill, grocery bill, ALL expenses I paid over half.

After both parents passed 30 some years ago I settled the estate with my 2 brothers to the satification of all 3 of us. I then met a wonderful lady who I married and raised 2 wonderful daughters. I'm now retired and still am able to fully support myself and my wife.

You sir need to find a paying permanent job, and not only get some backbone but learn to stand on your own 2 feet. I have no sympathy for you.

Excellent post jc.

 

[andrewg]

Originally Posted By: mechanicx
I don't think you staying at your parents house is an excuse or that they think you are spoiled by your parents is any excuse for what your sisters are doing.

I'd like to know if your brothers-in-law know that their wives and your sisters are charging you. And also do your sisters have jobs? Are their husbands paying half, three fourths, maybe for all this fancy food that your sisters charge only you for?

I think your sisters are just flat jealous that you are your parents baby. I'd bet if you moved out and got a good job it would change nothing that they're doing.

His sisters may or may not be desirable siblings....yet after what the OP FINALLY came clean about after ENDLESS whining, you still side with him? Really? 30 years old and a mooch? C'mon...you are looking at this kind of backwards now that some facts have come out, don't you think? The evidence is out there that this guy may very well deserve the treatment he's getting.....yet you still want to rub his back? Man....I don't mean to be rude, but are you serious?

 

[Carnoobie]

Originally Posted By: antiqueshell
There is ZERO excuse (from what you've said) for living at home for 30 years. ZERO. I don't really blame your sisters for wanting money. They are trying to tell you that they DO NOT accept your lifestyle and that they WILL NOT contribute to it. You need to stop living at home. It does not matter how hard it is to find work. Get two or three jobs. Wash dishes...wait tables....work in a warehouse, etc. If in all this time you have not realized that you are a sponge, then I suppose nothing will help you. You've posted on this board before about wanting a relationship with a female (you've got to be joking because no good woman would EVER desire a guy that can't pick himself up enough to move out of his parents house at 30). There is a lot that you have not disclosed up until now. The life you are leading amounts to a big NOTHING. Get yourself in gear now and stop making excuses. You should feel ashamed of yourself for not doing SOMETHING with your life by now. To be honest your sisters are disgusted with you. And if you had enough courage to look into the mirror and realize WHY they feel this way, you would have done something.
I don't know what on earth to say to a fella like you.


I know that my sisters dont accept my lifestyle but moving out, Thats much easier said than done for some people. Do you not think I want to move out? Its not like I just suck up everyday as enjoyment here. Rent here is expensive and when you go months without work, its not easy. I will move out eventually, once I find stable work, it just hasnt happened ever in my life.

 

[Mr Nice]

Maybe join the military and learn a trade so you can have a good paying career after 3-4 years ???

Can you join the reserves?

I did electronics in the military and used those skills at General Electric. Maybe you should focus on job skills/training.

 

[jcwit]

Originally Posted By: Carnoobie
I know that my sisters dont accept my lifestyle but moving out, Thats much easier said than done for some people. Do you not think I want to move out? Its not like I just suck up everyday as enjoyment here. Rent here is expensive and when you go months without work, its not easy. I will move out eventually, once I find stable work, it just hasnt happened ever in my life.


Yup, I'm more than positive you'll eventually move out, being as you're much younger than your parents.

Eventually it will just be because of the facts of life.

Hope you're man enough to escape living in a homeless shelter mooching off the government.

 

[mechanicx]

Originally Posted By: andrewg
Originally Posted By: mechanicx
I don't think you staying at your parents house is an excuse or that they think you are spoiled by your parents is any excuse for what your sisters are doing.

I'd like to know if your brothers-in-law know that their wives and your sisters are charging you. And also do your sisters have jobs? Are their husbands paying half, three fourths, maybe for all this fancy food that your sisters charge only you for?

I think your sisters are just flat jealous that you are your parents baby. I'd bet if you moved out and got a good job it would change nothing that they're doing.

His sisters may or may not be desirable siblings....yet after what the OP FINALLY came clean about after ENDLESS whining, you still side with him? Really? 30 years old and a mooch? C'mon...you are looking at this kind of backwards now that some facts have come out, don't you think? The evidence is out there that this guy may very well deserve the treatment he's getting.....yet you still want to rub his back? Man....I don't mean to be rude, but are you serious?


I'm not really siding with anyone. I think his sisters are still in the wrong regardless. Whether or not he is a mooch, he's not mooching off his sisters and his sisters behavior is still not justifiable.

I wished he would've answered my question of how much does is sisters support themselves and about the brothers-in-law.

 

[andrewg]

Originally Posted By: jcwit
Originally Posted By: Carnoobie
I know that my sisters dont accept my lifestyle but moving out, Thats much easier said than done for some people. Do you not think I want to move out? Its not like I just suck up everyday as enjoyment here. Rent here is expensive and when you go months without work, its not easy. I will move out eventually, once I find stable work, it just hasnt happened ever in my life.


Yup, I'm more than positive you'll eventually move out, being as you're much younger than your parents.

Eventually it will just be because of the facts of life.

Hope you're man enough to escape living in a homeless shelter mooching off the government.

Spot on! Unless they have some money for him to inherit when they pass on (doubtful, as he's probably been sucking that dry), he'll be S.O.L.
Oh well, the world has many strange and perplexing stories and this one certainly fits the bill.

 

[Propflux01]

Originally Posted By: Carnoobie

I know that my sisters dont accept my lifestyle but moving out, Thats much easier said than done for some people. Do you not think I want to move out? Its not like I just suck up everyday as enjoyment here. Rent here is expensive and when you go months without work, its not easy. I will move out eventually, once I find stable work, it just hasnt happened ever in my life.


Geez Dude, You've had 12 years to do it (assuming your 30)! I could've gone to Med school and had a job by that much time!! I'm sorry, but you have had more than enough time to have gone to school ( and don't give me any [censored] that you couldnt go because of $$, there are plenty of options out there even for "majorities"), joined the military, or done SOME kinda trade or Employment to get you off on your own. Like others, I now see why your sister whacks on you, and why you can't get any [censored] either.
In order for any of this to change, you need to

1. Quit whining
2. Move the [censored] out of Mom and Dad's.
3. Get a real Job and support yourself like 90% of the rest of America does.
4. Grow a pair of balls and a spine and actualy use them.
5. Take control of your life and do something with it other than "whoa is me".
6. After you do all this THEN report back and tell us how much better your life has become.

 

[Astro14]

Put a bit more simply: the reason that you can't hold a job, or establish a career, is that you've got no incentive to do so. Your parents are your enablers - they're not helping you grow up or expecting you to live as an adult, they're treating you like a dependant child, and you're content to live like a dependant child.

There are no negative consequences to your failure, so you're not trying as hard or as motivated as others. If you walk a tightrope without a net, you're a lot more focused...walk with a net, well, who cares if you fall a few times? you've got the net...the safety of your parents' house is preventing you from moving forward.

That is affecting your self-esteem/happiness (as mentioned in your other thread). You haven't achieved anything yet, and deep down, you know it. That's why you're unhappy, that's why girls aren't as interested in you as you would hope.

But wishing is not a method. And you're like the baby bird in the nest - no incentive to fly.

Time for someone to kick you out of the nest.

Once you start to fly, live on your own, and act like an adult, I suspect your relationship with your sisters will improve. They're still wrong about charging a guest for a meal, but I can now see why the relationship is contentious...

 

[Tdbo]

+1. There are dual, separate issues here.

1. Should sister invite him to dinner and run a tab. Answer: still no for the multitude of reasons that have been outlined here.

2. Should parents be enabling him by allowing him to live at home? NO. Only possible exceptions I could see would be if he were disabled in some manner (he does not appear to be) or he was attending school to obtain a skill to become employed (does not appear to be.)

At any rate, there seems to be a serious parent enabling issue here that needs to be solved between the parent and the OP. Not sure how shaking him down for his birthday cake is going to solve that.

 

[yeti]

tim h and astro14 beat me to it. i rarely post on inane type threads, unless they have some entertainment value.
first, i find the OP's issue here hard to believe.
this, and the OP's other woe-is-me thread of his pathetic, depressing video game filled life is classically funny. it has all the makings of a soap opera, or a bad made for tv after school movie. the only things missing are a drug addicted parent, and an uncle who likes boys. any fox employees out there reading this?
this is a classic case of poor parenting skills.allowing a guy in his thirties to loaf around all the time and play video games, and feel sorry for himself, is just pathetic. and this thing with the sisters just shows a lack of problem solving skills -- a result of coddling.
the truly moronic thing in all of this mess (the OP's 2 threads)is that the OP has told the world of his pathetic state, and is asking advice on the internet !!! how funny is that?
at any rate, i thank the posters, and especially the OP for a couple of days of good laughs.have a good day.