Originally Posted By: Tdbo
Originally Posted By: jcwit
Originally Posted By: Carnoobie
ok ill boycott next dinner. She will ask why and ill just say it like it is, the food is too expensive for me.
Nope guy, you still missed it! Get some backbone. You're being charged for a dinner you are invited to. Why should you be charged, even if the dinner is at Micky D's.
Gotta agree, he really isn't getting the point. If one is invited to a dinner, that is an invitation of hospitality (not a business transaction.) Courtesy indicates that you ask if you can bring a dish, bread, wine, etc to help the hostess and perhaps alleviate her of some food prep or show your appreciation. If she shuns your offer, then you are off the hook. If you are going to pay $$$, I would demand to meet @ a restaurant. If she wants to know why, tell her if you are going to pay cash, you want a professionally prepared dinner. Let her gnaw on that statement for awhile and see where it goes from there.
Ive actually tried telling this to her but she didnt get it. She said to her, it doesnt matter if someone invites, or where it is, im paying to cover the cost of food cause she doesnt want to pay my way and that im a full grown adult and should take care of myself. Not saying i agree with her but thats just what shes told me in the past.
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If the event is something that all involved parties plan equally, such as a school reunion, etc., the I can see the burden of cost being shared. However, if "Jane" throws a party, she is the one who should bear the cost. If she throws the event, invites you, then tries to charge you, then is when you have a choice as to attendance or declination. If she gets bent outta shape because you choose to decline, it's her issue not yours. But the only way your gonna solve your issue is to grow a pair, or at least a spine and make your decision and stick with it.
Well to me I dont really talk to them anyways when I go to their gatherings. Its really just about the kids and my brother in laws since thats primarily what I do when I go. ANd yes these are my sisters, ill talk briefly but i dont know...my sisters are much closer within themselves than I am to them. They'll have their own chit chats and ill be doing something else cause if my oldest sis is there I avoid all contact with them. I talk to my other 2 sisters but only when the oldest one isnt around with them.
Especially my oldest one who I dont get along with at all and we dont talk to each other. I just get all stressed out and worked up just being around her or even thinking about it. I just dont like her presence cause shes just a flat out....you know what. And I mean an EXTREME ...you know what. Im not one to insult others but it hurts me to say that shes the biggest...you know what...Ive ever known in my life. We dont talk for our own reasons but we're better off this way, at least I know I am. I cant even look her in the eye. And since we never talk, and I never listen to anything she has to say, then looking at her is an easy thing to avoid. One the oldest sister comes back in the scene I go do something else.
If I have to talk to her (which is almost never cause Ill do what I have to do to avoid it or work around it), I get all stressed out cause I dont like the way she talks to me at all. Im a super cool cucumber and one of my best qualities has always been my poise and my never alarmed temper. Im always able to keep my cool and never lash out or get mad at anyone. I never show it unless im alone. And the one thing that just really gets to me is people who talk to me with attitude.
She hates me, she wishes I wasnt alive, and she talks to me with a outrageously nasty attitude and like im stupid. Nasty is describing it gently, it is just horrible. Thats when we talked in the past. Years ago, she said she wishes I was dead and that she had no brother. That put a permanent black mark on our relationship and my reflection of her. I will never ever forget those words.
