My friend's wife......
- Thread starter wrcsixeight
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He seems to think the fact that she has attended, then quit going to AA meetings, to be enough to get custody.
My remarks that this is California where apparently a woman can do no wrong and a man can do no right in the eyes of a judge are falling on deaf ears.
Something is playing out as I type this.
Freaking evil, evil woman needs to be locked up in a padded room.
My remarks that this is California where apparently a woman can do no wrong and a man can do no right in the eyes of a judge are falling on deaf ears.
Something is playing out as I type this.
Freaking evil, evil woman needs to be locked up in a padded room.
He needs to discuss his moves with a divorce lawyer, before he makes them. He has had plenty of time to do this, but he really, really needs to discuss with a lawyer first, assess the probabilities of getting the outcomes he desires, and then proceeding.
To think he can navigate this situation by himself, with a minimum of advice is fallacious.
To think he can navigate this situation by himself, with a minimum of advice is fallacious.
She apparently came home this morning drunk and took a swing at him, then took off again.
Some part of the miserable fool wants to get her the help she needs and continue on as a family. She is well beyond help, a fleet of Psychiatrists could not help her.
I don't know what more I can do to convince him that any future together with her is impossible and dangerous. I though I drilled this into him last night, but our mutual friend just told me he thinks he is going to wuss out again.
I've mentioned the word lawyer to him several dozen times last night. He keeps resisting advice as she has so effectively brainwashed him.
Some part of the miserable fool wants to get her the help she needs and continue on as a family. She is well beyond help, a fleet of Psychiatrists could not help her.
I don't know what more I can do to convince him that any future together with her is impossible and dangerous. I though I drilled this into him last night, but our mutual friend just told me he thinks he is going to wuss out again.
I've mentioned the word lawyer to him several dozen times last night. He keeps resisting advice as she has so effectively brainwashed him.
If his parents are still around, send the kids to his parents place for a week's stay. Then he should get a hotel room for that same week, and change the locks on the house.
Change the pins on the credit/debit cards, and close any joint accounts, moving the money into a completely different bank that he has never done business with previously.
BC.
Change the pins on the credit/debit cards, and close any joint accounts, moving the money into a completely different bank that he has never done business with previously.
BC.
A guy chooses whom to marry and if you told him not to do it, he would not listen,,,,men have big egos and it kills lots of us....stay single, go and come when you want to, but if you must marry, wait awhile, like 30 or 40 and watch your divorced friends come and go.....marriage divorce rates are about 60 pct, not really a great investment, but hey,,,I did not listen either....lol....egos and egos guys....we don't listen.
He needs to call Magnum PI for enough dirt/pics/movies to get the kids.
Then eject over friendly territory.
Then eject over friendly territory.
Well nearly a year has passed from the original post, and I decided to reread the responses here.
The Fool only just got a divorce lawyer.
She has apparently done things so incredibly abhorrent that his brother says he cannot be the one to tell me what she has done. I've tried several times to "get a beer, have a talk" with him, but was basically ignored, so I am still getting second hand info, highly filtered by friends who are not OK with their task of filtering.
I do know she went into and left rehab after 2 days. Apparently she has a Meth dealer fling on the side. Just what that psycho needs, is a meth addiction on top of all her other issues.
Her father and mother are telling him to get the kids and get out, apologizing for their daughter having ruined his life.
He asked me for "space to work" last October when I was hounding him to get a lawyer, and I gave it to him. But he basically did nothing. He kept saying he was staying for the Kids. Kept telling me to come over, it would be good for the kids. I told him I never wanted to spend a single second in her company ever again. Apparently his brother and father told him the same thing.
In reality he just did not want to raise the kids alone. Can't blame him for that.
2 weeks ago I send out a 'how r things?' text, and get a prompt Text back from him saying he is in he77 and needs help.
I responded immediately what I could do, and several hours later he says that he "needs me to be around, and get things done for him"
This irritated me greatly. The mofo can't be bothered to keep me apprised of current events for seemingly forever, can't return calls or messages and now suddenly I have to be there and get things done for him.
I've no problems helping him move out, but he's looking for a baby sitter, someone to take over the tasks she used to be capable of handling, but no longer can or will, who knows. If he needs a servant, he needs to hire one.
I'm no servant. I'm busy enough with my own life, and let him know this.
I do not enjoy children's company, and his kids are very poorly adjusted, behaved, and their mother no doubt has been talking badly about me to them. She has previously and that was before she realized how truly hated she was by all of us for so long, and really went batcrap crazy with substance abuse and the ability to justify any behavior too, apparently.
That was two weeks ago. Have not heard from him for 11 days, have not tried to contact him either. I'm not feeling like a good friend, but honestly I've not felt like he has been much of a friend either over the last few years.
Part of me is extremely relieved I am not having to deal with his mess, part of me is feeling guilty for avoiding it.
So it goes.
The Fool only just got a divorce lawyer.
She has apparently done things so incredibly abhorrent that his brother says he cannot be the one to tell me what she has done. I've tried several times to "get a beer, have a talk" with him, but was basically ignored, so I am still getting second hand info, highly filtered by friends who are not OK with their task of filtering.
I do know she went into and left rehab after 2 days. Apparently she has a Meth dealer fling on the side. Just what that psycho needs, is a meth addiction on top of all her other issues.
Her father and mother are telling him to get the kids and get out, apologizing for their daughter having ruined his life.
He asked me for "space to work" last October when I was hounding him to get a lawyer, and I gave it to him. But he basically did nothing. He kept saying he was staying for the Kids. Kept telling me to come over, it would be good for the kids. I told him I never wanted to spend a single second in her company ever again. Apparently his brother and father told him the same thing.
In reality he just did not want to raise the kids alone. Can't blame him for that.
2 weeks ago I send out a 'how r things?' text, and get a prompt Text back from him saying he is in he77 and needs help.
I responded immediately what I could do, and several hours later he says that he "needs me to be around, and get things done for him"
This irritated me greatly. The mofo can't be bothered to keep me apprised of current events for seemingly forever, can't return calls or messages and now suddenly I have to be there and get things done for him.
I've no problems helping him move out, but he's looking for a baby sitter, someone to take over the tasks she used to be capable of handling, but no longer can or will, who knows. If he needs a servant, he needs to hire one.
I'm no servant. I'm busy enough with my own life, and let him know this.
I do not enjoy children's company, and his kids are very poorly adjusted, behaved, and their mother no doubt has been talking badly about me to them. She has previously and that was before she realized how truly hated she was by all of us for so long, and really went batcrap crazy with substance abuse and the ability to justify any behavior too, apparently.
That was two weeks ago. Have not heard from him for 11 days, have not tried to contact him either. I'm not feeling like a good friend, but honestly I've not felt like he has been much of a friend either over the last few years.
Part of me is extremely relieved I am not having to deal with his mess, part of me is feeling guilty for avoiding it.
So it goes.
Originally Posted By: wrcsixeight
My friend is honoring his fidelity vows, though she likely is not. Respect, not at all. Obey?
Obey? Really? If he thinks anyone should be obeying him he needs and deserves to taken to the friggin cleaners IMHO.
If i told my wife to obey me she would quickly tell me to go ef myself right quick and rightfully so.
I don't know whats going on in that house but it sounds like a master/slave deal or he expects it to be, i expect my friggin dog to obey me not my wife.
My friend is honoring his fidelity vows, though she likely is not. Respect, not at all. Obey?
Obey? Really? If he thinks anyone should be obeying him he needs and deserves to taken to the friggin cleaners IMHO.
If i told my wife to obey me she would quickly tell me to go ef myself right quick and rightfully so.
I don't know whats going on in that house but it sounds like a master/slave deal or he expects it to be, i expect my friggin dog to obey me not my wife.
You've reached out...in more ways than one....he knows you're out there but chooses to continue his living [censored]. What more can you do? Nothing. Sleep easy my friend knowing you tried your best but at some point, you got to call King's X.
Originally Posted By: bvance554
She must be really hot.....
I also want pics of her.
She must be really hot.....
I also want pics of her.
Pasty white freckled redhead(orange) with fake orange tan. Thick shapeless ankles, large shapeless backside and a beer in her freckled paw. Gross.
She has single handedly turned me off to redheads.
I had one keen on me at a gathering a while back. I informed her I was sorry, but she bore too much of a resemblance to my friend's Psycho wife, who is the single worst person I've ever had the displeasure of being subjected to.
Her jaw dropped and I walked away.
She has single handedly turned me off to redheads.
I had one keen on me at a gathering a while back. I informed her I was sorry, but she bore too much of a resemblance to my friend's Psycho wife, who is the single worst person I've ever had the displeasure of being subjected to.
Her jaw dropped and I walked away.
Originally Posted By: Jarlaxle
Tell him that, every day, he needs to keep a log: where he was, what he did, and (critical here) WHO HE INTERACTED WITH! That way, it makes her accusing him of cheating, hitting her, or raping his kids a bit harder to make stick.
Very good advice,although by the sounds of it this guy isn't listening to anyone's sound advice.
So here's my interpretation in a nutshell.
The wife is bi-polar/manic depressive and is self medicating up or down depending on which mood she's riding.
She's banging the dealer for dope,whether it's an actual trade or if that's just what's happening just no one is labelling it what it is,prostitution.
Hubby still hasn't gotten it through his thick skull even though her parents are not only on his side but are telling him to take action against their daughter.
Tough situation.
You've done what you can. If you want to do more that's on you but how much are you seriously expected to do.
Personally if got very few what I'd call friends and for those people there is no limit what I would do if they needed it,because I'm a real friend. Not a part time friend or when its convenient friend,so if my friends needed me to do whatever to help pick up the pieces I'm there.
Being a real friend is never easy especially when your friend is in crisis,but in crisis is when you find out who your real friends are.
Tell him that, every day, he needs to keep a log: where he was, what he did, and (critical here) WHO HE INTERACTED WITH! That way, it makes her accusing him of cheating, hitting her, or raping his kids a bit harder to make stick.
Very good advice,although by the sounds of it this guy isn't listening to anyone's sound advice.
So here's my interpretation in a nutshell.
The wife is bi-polar/manic depressive and is self medicating up or down depending on which mood she's riding.
She's banging the dealer for dope,whether it's an actual trade or if that's just what's happening just no one is labelling it what it is,prostitution.
Hubby still hasn't gotten it through his thick skull even though her parents are not only on his side but are telling him to take action against their daughter.
Tough situation.
You've done what you can. If you want to do more that's on you but how much are you seriously expected to do.
Personally if got very few what I'd call friends and for those people there is no limit what I would do if they needed it,because I'm a real friend. Not a part time friend or when its convenient friend,so if my friends needed me to do whatever to help pick up the pieces I'm there.
Being a real friend is never easy especially when your friend is in crisis,but in crisis is when you find out who your real friends are.
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