My lifelong friend's wife is a nightmare.
Overwhelmingly narcissistic, greedy, paranoid, gossipy, an alcoholic, and abusive. Definitely emotionally abusive, and probably physically too.
My friend is honoring his fidelity vows, though she likely is not. Respect, not at all. Obey? That is a personal challenge to do the opposite. Their kids set the bar for unacceptable behavior, and she rewards it every time I've witnessed it.
He loves his children desperately, and I suspect they, and California's divorce laws, are the only reason he is still in the relationship at all. She apparently cannot handle being left alone with their children for too long, and I suspect he is reluctant to let that happen.
I am a bachelor for life, and he will not discuss his marriage with me, but will with our other married friends, and what they convey to me is that I don't know the half of it, and he has asked them not to share.
I've never wanted to spend any time around his wife, and her bizarre and insulting behavior is usually let to slide, because confrontation undoubtedly would make things even worse for my friend. All of his friend's have taken this same approach without realizing, at first, that we were just enabling her.
I've told him on numerous occasions that her odd, insulting, and unacceptable behavior was being overlooked, by his close friends,because of the like and respect for him. I can't talk about his marriage with him, but I made sure he knew this before he married her, and before she got pregnant, and that he can't possibly supply her with all the help she needs. I don't think a fleet of psychiatrists could help her.
More recently, I've been avoiding any gathering where the wife and kids will be present, as it is so stressful to witness the children's minds be warped, and my friend to be so disrespected, and emasculated by the psycho wife.
As his friend, I don't know what to do to help him. Continue with the poker face and pretend I don't notice how crazy and unacceptable her behavior is? Or just go off on her and let her know the full contempt everybody feels for her actions, words and behavior. I've suppressed the latter desire for the last 15+ years.
Any constructive criticism I've offered in the past, only when asked, has been taken as a personal insult and she goes into full verbal attack mode at any perceived slight. Her words hold no weight with me, she can insult me all she wants, but I don't want to make things more difficult for him.
She already has isolated him from most of his lifelong friends, and kept any new friends at a distance. I suspect she wants him as dependent on her as she is on him.
It is just so hard to witness a good man, a good friend, being destroyed by an evil, manipulative woman.
What to do? I'm to see them tomorrow night when a mutual friend is in town.
Overwhelmingly narcissistic, greedy, paranoid, gossipy, an alcoholic, and abusive. Definitely emotionally abusive, and probably physically too.
My friend is honoring his fidelity vows, though she likely is not. Respect, not at all. Obey? That is a personal challenge to do the opposite. Their kids set the bar for unacceptable behavior, and she rewards it every time I've witnessed it.
He loves his children desperately, and I suspect they, and California's divorce laws, are the only reason he is still in the relationship at all. She apparently cannot handle being left alone with their children for too long, and I suspect he is reluctant to let that happen.
I am a bachelor for life, and he will not discuss his marriage with me, but will with our other married friends, and what they convey to me is that I don't know the half of it, and he has asked them not to share.
I've never wanted to spend any time around his wife, and her bizarre and insulting behavior is usually let to slide, because confrontation undoubtedly would make things even worse for my friend. All of his friend's have taken this same approach without realizing, at first, that we were just enabling her.
I've told him on numerous occasions that her odd, insulting, and unacceptable behavior was being overlooked, by his close friends,because of the like and respect for him. I can't talk about his marriage with him, but I made sure he knew this before he married her, and before she got pregnant, and that he can't possibly supply her with all the help she needs. I don't think a fleet of psychiatrists could help her.
More recently, I've been avoiding any gathering where the wife and kids will be present, as it is so stressful to witness the children's minds be warped, and my friend to be so disrespected, and emasculated by the psycho wife.
As his friend, I don't know what to do to help him. Continue with the poker face and pretend I don't notice how crazy and unacceptable her behavior is? Or just go off on her and let her know the full contempt everybody feels for her actions, words and behavior. I've suppressed the latter desire for the last 15+ years.
Any constructive criticism I've offered in the past, only when asked, has been taken as a personal insult and she goes into full verbal attack mode at any perceived slight. Her words hold no weight with me, she can insult me all she wants, but I don't want to make things more difficult for him.
She already has isolated him from most of his lifelong friends, and kept any new friends at a distance. I suspect she wants him as dependent on her as she is on him.
It is just so hard to witness a good man, a good friend, being destroyed by an evil, manipulative woman.
What to do? I'm to see them tomorrow night when a mutual friend is in town.