I'm an engineer and a technical manager today and logically understand your sentiment. Though, the one and only time I've had trouble with an LS engine was when I tried vanilla Mobil-1 5W-30 for several OCI's back then. And I'm not the only one whose had this same or very similar scenario play out for them. Therefore, my intuition and good sense comes into play ... "once bitten, twice shy."
By the way... among your list of LS maladies you forgot to mention so-called "soft" camshafts and their self-destruction. Outside of that list, I'll use your same logic to say that the vast majority of LS engines, especially their truck engines, are reliable beasts. Many, many reasonable references throughout the Inet attest to this fact. Come to think of it, I have around 300,000 miles on three LS engines. In extreme weather, few maladies have manifested themselves. The exception was the cam shaft self-destruction after 135,000 miles. One of the other two engines was involved in an accident that totaled the vehicle around 70,000 miles. The insurance company got that one.
As for Mobil-1 in general, I'm not a hater. Though, like you, I'm not a fan either. In the past, I have used their 0W-40 product with good results. Same goes for the Castrol blended viscosity. My son's 100,0000 mile, trouble-free Sportwagen loves the stuff.
Peace.