I think we agree more than we disagree--but I think we have different definitions of "wear". You aren't describing "wear", you're describing atypical wear as a result of a failure of the lubrication. I'm describing "wear" as the process of metals being removed from the engine over the normal course of its use.
This is a pretty standard definition of "wear", in any sense. While it seems like parsing words, using imprecise language to explain any concept just results in confusion.
To imply wear isn't a negative thing. An engine will eventually "wear out" (to throw around big scientific jargon) , no matter how ideal the lubrication. This is a fact. It's also a fact that engine longevity has gotten to a point that the metal components are almost certain to outlast the useful service life of it's surrounding components, as long as it's properly maintained.
But that doesn't change the fact that iron sloughing off of an engine's metal components is "wear". If it's not, you've invented a whole new meaning for the word.
EDIT: For instance, this is quote right from the Q@A: "Iron particles in used oil are to be expected, as the iron in engine components, such as cam shafts, timing chains and gears, piston pins and rings and cylinder liner, wears down during normal operation."