Theres always a reason. Women never leave the house, especially with kids. They usually boot us if its us. Can you log on to check her phone log? voice and text.
Divorce
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Originally Posted By: SteveSRT8
Number one don't leave. The minute you do you will not be able to come back.
Amen. Possession is 9/10ths of the law.
Number one don't leave. The minute you do you will not be able to come back.
Amen. Possession is 9/10ths of the law.
Originally Posted By: LeakySeals
Theres always a reason. Women never leave the house, especially with kids. They usually boot us if its us. Can you log on to check her phone log? voice and text.
I'm with this. Since she's had a lawyer for a couple months, this is not a spur of the moment decision. Be interesting to know where she is staying. Mothers, friends, or someone else's place?
Theres always a reason. Women never leave the house, especially with kids. They usually boot us if its us. Can you log on to check her phone log? voice and text.
I'm with this. Since she's had a lawyer for a couple months, this is not a spur of the moment decision. Be interesting to know where she is staying. Mothers, friends, or someone else's place?
Originally Posted By: BovineScapegoat
She is probably cheating. Cut her loose but get the kids. The house is yours so dont leave it.
LAWYER LAWYER LAWYER!!!
If she is cheating, it might be recommended to get paternity testing done. No need to be attached to kids that may not be yours to begin with.
She is probably cheating. Cut her loose but get the kids. The house is yours so dont leave it.
LAWYER LAWYER LAWYER!!!
If she is cheating, it might be recommended to get paternity testing done. No need to be attached to kids that may not be yours to begin with.
LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP! LAWYER UP!
Originally Posted By: SteveSRT8
Number one don't leave. The minute you do you will not be able to come back.
Number 2 consult a lawyer ASAP. Some specialize in men's side of things.
Good luck, I will pray for you. You'll need it.
This again...
You may love your wife and kids, but you have the right to be angry since she left, and to defend yourself and not be taken advantage of...
Originally Posted By: SteveSRT8
Number one don't leave. The minute you do you will not be able to come back.
Number 2 consult a lawyer ASAP. Some specialize in men's side of things.
Good luck, I will pray for you. You'll need it.
This again...
You may love your wife and kids, but you have the right to be angry since she left, and to defend yourself and not be taken advantage of...
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Originally Posted By: LeakySeals
Theres always a reason. Women never leave the house, especially with kids. They usually boot us if its us. Can you log on to check her phone log? voice and text.
One needs to be careful doing this sort of thing, I believe I read a guy was prosecuted for identity theft for hacking into his wife's emails to confirm that SHE WAS cheating...
Theres always a reason. Women never leave the house, especially with kids. They usually boot us if its us. Can you log on to check her phone log? voice and text.
One needs to be careful doing this sort of thing, I believe I read a guy was prosecuted for identity theft for hacking into his wife's emails to confirm that SHE WAS cheating...
My buddy is going through the exact same thing except his kids are college aged.
One thing that hasn't been mentioned is that he was forced to get rid of his hand gun collection.
Apparently the courts aren't fond of angry husbands with guns....
One thing that hasn't been mentioned is that he was forced to get rid of his hand gun collection.
Apparently the courts aren't fond of angry husbands with guns....
Originally Posted By: pbm
My buddy is going through the exact same thing except his kids are college aged.
One thing that hasn't been mentioned is that he was forced to get rid of his hand gun collection.
Apparently the courts aren't fond of angry husbands with guns....
^^ The key to to stay cool enough not to be slapped with a restraining order.
My buddy is going through the exact same thing except his kids are college aged.
One thing that hasn't been mentioned is that he was forced to get rid of his hand gun collection.
Apparently the courts aren't fond of angry husbands with guns....
^^ The key to to stay cool enough not to be slapped with a restraining order.
Speaking from experience:
As others have stated, get a lawyer now. DO stay in the house or there is a very good chance of you not getting back in. If she is in the house, then you will get stuck paying her the mortgage/rent all the while also paying for where you are staying. Better to make her pay you.
Prepare yourself for the legal process. It is NOT like you see on TV. Don't count on or expect the judge to be fair, unbiased, attentive to your concerns or even be fully aware of the law. Women always have the advantage in divorce cases so you will be fighting from behind in court.
Document EVERYTHING. Try and contact her only with E-mail that way you have a firm record of everything and when it was said. If you do have verbal communications, write it down in a log with the date.
In my state, the court OWNS all of your property and (effectively) your body. It has control of every aspect of your life. Expect the arbitrary rulings of the judge to severely impact your day to day life.
Your future is now in the hands of a person that you don't know, doesn't know you, and really doesn't care to. Unless you are wealthy, your case is just another that day they have to deal with.
Get it over as soon as possible. Make as many agreements out of court as you can. You DO NOT want the judge making decisions for you.
As others have stated, get a lawyer now. DO stay in the house or there is a very good chance of you not getting back in. If she is in the house, then you will get stuck paying her the mortgage/rent all the while also paying for where you are staying. Better to make her pay you.
Prepare yourself for the legal process. It is NOT like you see on TV. Don't count on or expect the judge to be fair, unbiased, attentive to your concerns or even be fully aware of the law. Women always have the advantage in divorce cases so you will be fighting from behind in court.
Document EVERYTHING. Try and contact her only with E-mail that way you have a firm record of everything and when it was said. If you do have verbal communications, write it down in a log with the date.
In my state, the court OWNS all of your property and (effectively) your body. It has control of every aspect of your life. Expect the arbitrary rulings of the judge to severely impact your day to day life.
Your future is now in the hands of a person that you don't know, doesn't know you, and really doesn't care to. Unless you are wealthy, your case is just another that day they have to deal with.
Get it over as soon as possible. Make as many agreements out of court as you can. You DO NOT want the judge making decisions for you.
Originally Posted By: Mixologist
^^ The key to to stay cool enough not to be slapped with a restraining order.
Without a doubt. She will probably be documenting all of your correspondence and actions. Be very careful not to let her get you angry and cause you to write or do something stupid.
This is now a business decision on your part. That is how the court will look at it. Make sure all of your actions and communications are as though you are dealing with a business, not an ex-wife.
^^ The key to to stay cool enough not to be slapped with a restraining order.
Without a doubt. She will probably be documenting all of your correspondence and actions. Be very careful not to let her get you angry and cause you to write or do something stupid.
This is now a business decision on your part. That is how the court will look at it. Make sure all of your actions and communications are as though you are dealing with a business, not an ex-wife.
JTK
$100 Site Donor 2025
Originally Posted By: stockrex
guys calm down, I want you to share you experience and what you would have done differently if you had to do it all over again.
right now I miss my kids and asking her to let me again today for a longer period.
I hate to see this happen to a good guy. Similar situation recently happened to my BIL w/ two young children. He was totally blind-sided. Had no clue, no signs, they got along great, etc.. She ran off with another guy and turned his world upside-down.
Laws vary State/State I believe. Legal counsel will get you through it, but unfortunately it costs. I know where I live, the guy is basically screwed. At 41 with 4 little kids I'm very good to my wife. We've been together since we were 19, so I hope for the best!
Good luck to you.
Joel
guys calm down, I want you to share you experience and what you would have done differently if you had to do it all over again.
right now I miss my kids and asking her to let me again today for a longer period.
I hate to see this happen to a good guy. Similar situation recently happened to my BIL w/ two young children. He was totally blind-sided. Had no clue, no signs, they got along great, etc.. She ran off with another guy and turned his world upside-down.
Laws vary State/State I believe. Legal counsel will get you through it, but unfortunately it costs. I know where I live, the guy is basically screwed. At 41 with 4 little kids I'm very good to my wife. We've been together since we were 19, so I hope for the best!
Good luck to you.
Joel
Prayer can and does change the unchangeable.
Count me in.
Count me in.
Originally Posted By: stockrex
guys calm down, I want you to share you experience and what you would have done differently if you had to do it all over again.
right now I miss my kids and asking her to let me again today for a longer period.
Best of luck sir and all the best to your children. I have little direct experience in all this, but I would say make sure she keeps the Sienna and you get the other cars.
guys calm down, I want you to share you experience and what you would have done differently if you had to do it all over again.
right now I miss my kids and asking her to let me again today for a longer period.
Best of luck sir and all the best to your children. I have little direct experience in all this, but I would say make sure she keeps the Sienna and you get the other cars.
Originally Posted By: Nickdfresh
Originally Posted By: LeakySeals
Theres always a reason. Women never leave the house, especially with kids. They usually boot us if its us. Can you log on to check her phone log? voice and text.
One needs to be careful doing this sort of thing, I believe I read a guy was prosecuted for identity theft for hacking into his wife's emails to confirm that SHE WAS cheating...
I didn't say to do that. If they have joint accounts, he has the right to be there. Though affairs aren't illegal, the judge will consider character dolling out assets. Sadly, I know this.
Originally Posted By: LeakySeals
Theres always a reason. Women never leave the house, especially with kids. They usually boot us if its us. Can you log on to check her phone log? voice and text.
One needs to be careful doing this sort of thing, I believe I read a guy was prosecuted for identity theft for hacking into his wife's emails to confirm that SHE WAS cheating...
I didn't say to do that. If they have joint accounts, he has the right to be there. Though affairs aren't illegal, the judge will consider character dolling out assets. Sadly, I know this.
Originally Posted By: LeakySeals
Originally Posted By: Nickdfresh
Originally Posted By: LeakySeals
Theres always a reason. Women never leave the house, especially with kids. They usually boot us if its us. Can you log on to check her phone log? voice and text.
One needs to be careful doing this sort of thing, I believe I read a guy was prosecuted for identity theft for hacking into his wife's emails to confirm that SHE WAS cheating...
I didn't say to do that. If they have joint accounts, he has the right to be there. Though affairs aren't illegal, the judge will consider character dolling out assets. Sadly, I know this.
I know.
But I guess I was just saying to be careful and the OP should follow Tempest's advice, as I am sure he will. Document everything (especially communications with the wife), try to keep your emotions in check, and remember that you can love all but that this is now a game of poker and one needs to keep his poker face, not to paraphrase a Lady Gaga song...
Originally Posted By: Nickdfresh
Originally Posted By: LeakySeals
Theres always a reason. Women never leave the house, especially with kids. They usually boot us if its us. Can you log on to check her phone log? voice and text.
One needs to be careful doing this sort of thing, I believe I read a guy was prosecuted for identity theft for hacking into his wife's emails to confirm that SHE WAS cheating...
I didn't say to do that. If they have joint accounts, he has the right to be there. Though affairs aren't illegal, the judge will consider character dolling out assets. Sadly, I know this.
I know.
But I guess I was just saying to be careful and the OP should follow Tempest's advice, as I am sure he will. Document everything (especially communications with the wife), try to keep your emotions in check, and remember that you can love all but that this is now a game of poker and one needs to keep his poker face, not to paraphrase a Lady Gaga song...
See a lawyer ASAP. Protect/close any joint accounts you have, because she will need to cover her day to day expenses. Credit card debt and ATM withdrawals are key here. I would also set up a separate checking account and that is where my paycheck would go.
As much as reconciliation may be desired, you need to protect yourself financially during this time.
Your family will be in our prayers as reconciliation may be the best answer, but you need to protect yourself in the meantime from the worst that may happen to you.
As much as reconciliation may be desired, you need to protect yourself financially during this time.
Your family will be in our prayers as reconciliation may be the best answer, but you need to protect yourself in the meantime from the worst that may happen to you.
Originally Posted By: chiks
Sad to hear about it. It pains my heart.
Any reasons why she left? She love somebody else?
Who is at fault here?
Just like any other negotiation, be ready to walk away from your wife and kids. It ain't worth it if she ain't worth it.
DO NOT walk away from your kids, that is the most idiotic advice I've ever heard.
It's times like this where your kids need you as much as you need them.
Will pray for you and your children.
Sad to hear about it. It pains my heart.
Any reasons why she left? She love somebody else?
Who is at fault here?
Just like any other negotiation, be ready to walk away from your wife and kids. It ain't worth it if she ain't worth it.
DO NOT walk away from your kids, that is the most idiotic advice I've ever heard.
It's times like this where your kids need you as much as you need them.
Will pray for you and your children.
Originally Posted By: chiks
Originally Posted By: BovineScapegoat
She is probably cheating. Cut her loose but get the kids. The house is yours so dont leave it.
LAWYER LAWYER LAWYER!!!
If she is cheating, it might be recommended to get paternity testing done. No need to be attached to kids that may not be yours to begin with.
Again bad advice, if you've been a father to your children for the past 2-8 years no real father would be able to turn his back no matter the outcome. The children couldn't help that problem. Also if you signed the birth certificate it wouldn't matter who the biological was.
Chiks, I'm going to guess your not a father or have a family of your own from these responses. These posts are not going to help him especially with this kind of bad advice from your posts. Maybe when you have a family of your own you'll understand the issue of children and being a father better.
Yes, I'm callin you out.
Originally Posted By: BovineScapegoat
She is probably cheating. Cut her loose but get the kids. The house is yours so dont leave it.
LAWYER LAWYER LAWYER!!!
If she is cheating, it might be recommended to get paternity testing done. No need to be attached to kids that may not be yours to begin with.
Again bad advice, if you've been a father to your children for the past 2-8 years no real father would be able to turn his back no matter the outcome. The children couldn't help that problem. Also if you signed the birth certificate it wouldn't matter who the biological was.
Chiks, I'm going to guess your not a father or have a family of your own from these responses. These posts are not going to help him especially with this kind of bad advice from your posts. Maybe when you have a family of your own you'll understand the issue of children and being a father better.
Yes, I'm callin you out.
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