Divorce

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Stockrex:

In my experience, women who leave, and take the kids with them, then turn around and want you to leave the house tend to play the abused spouse card.

She took the kids from you because she feared for their safety, and her own.

I don't know your situation, nor do I know their ages, but don't be surprised if you find out on Friday that you've been "abusing" her for years.

What you should be looking into is the mother's mindset.
How is/was your relationship with her?
Since your wife went straight to her house with the kids, I would assume your relationship with the MIL isn't great.

Don't be surprised is the MIL speaks in court saying she saw you abuse your wife/and or kids.

You need to get some friends on your side to counter any claims of you being a hostile/violent/neglectful person.

Also, if you are friends with anyone that she is friends with, DO NOT talk to them anymore about the divorce. They will pass information across, and it can be used against you.

BC.
 
Originally Posted By: javacontour
The numbers are fairly even. Unless women are having affairs with other women, or men with other men, the genders are equally represented when it comes to affairs.

So don't buy the line that men have more affairs than women. It simply isn't true unless you really think men are having same sex affairs.

...


I don't think so. I agree the stereotype of the philandering husband/boyfriend with his innocent wife/GF sitting home is a bit overwrought, but every study I've seen says that men have at least a slight edge in the cheating dept. However, most recent studies show that women are catching up and are not far behind in the cheating dept...
 
Originally Posted By: Cristobal
...
Men not marrying? How deep does "the problem" go?


Is being a man and not marrying a "problem?"
 
Originally Posted By: Nickdfresh
Originally Posted By: javacontour
The numbers are fairly even. Unless women are having affairs with other women, or men with other men, the genders are equally represented when it comes to affairs.

So don't buy the line that men have more affairs than women. It simply isn't true unless you really think men are having same sex affairs.

...


I don't think so. I agree the stereotype of the philandering husband/boyfriend with his innocent wife/GF sitting home is a bit overwrought, but every study I've seen says that men have at least a slight edge in the cheating dept. However, most recent studies show that women are catching up and are not far behind in the cheating dept...


So you are saying they are having affairs with other men?

Because unless they are, the numbers are fairly even.

Now if you consider that some men may have multiple women on the side, one might even conclude that MORE women than men are involved in affairs.

The marital status of the participants don't matter. If she's involved in an affair with a married man, she's just as much a player in the affair as he is.

She may not know he's married, but she certainly knows she's not married to him.

There is a certain logic in not having sex with anyone other than your spouse. It keeps you from being the unwitting co-conspirator in an affair.
 
Update: court date got moved a few weeks, was informed by my lawyer.

Bladecutter - MIL never liked me

what if she claims that I am an alien, and then my MIL agrees?
although I do not possess a flying saucer, does that still make me an alien?

I am heart broken by the little time I am getting to spend with the kids.
 
Originally Posted By: javacontour
Originally Posted By: Nickdfresh
Originally Posted By: javacontour
The numbers are fairly even. Unless women are having affairs with other women, or men with other men, the genders are equally represented when it comes to affairs.

So don't buy the line that men have more affairs than women. It simply isn't true unless you really think men are having same sex affairs.

...


I don't think so. I agree the stereotype of the philandering husband/boyfriend with his innocent wife/GF sitting home is a bit overwrought, but every study I've seen says that men have at least a slight edge in the cheating dept. However, most recent studies show that women are catching up and are not far behind in the cheating dept...


So you are saying they are having affairs with other men?

Because unless they are, the numbers are fairly even.

Now if you consider that some men may have multiple women on the side, one might even conclude that MORE women than men are involved in affairs.

The marital status of the participants don't matter. If she's involved in an affair with a married man, she's just as much a player in the affair as he is.

She may not know he's married, but she certainly knows she's not married to him.

There is a certain logic in not having sex with anyone other than your spouse. It keeps you from being the unwitting co-conspirator in an affair.


I'm just going by statistics I've seen in studies. I think the last one I saw was 19% of women reported cheating whereas 23% of men did, IIRC. Not nearly as great a disparity as the previous study in which 15% of women reported cheating. But such studies of course are prone to flaws in question semantics and the honesty of the subjects...
 
Originally Posted By: stockrex
family court is held every 2 weeks, court scheduled that date for us.



Okay, as long as it was not pushed back by one of the lawyers...
 
Someone enlighten me here - i might have missed something (I read through all the posts, but fairly quickly.

The OP has not answered the question "any idea WHY she left"? (again, i may have missed it) asked by several, and even without ANY details, everyone's giving OP advice and prayers and whatnot.

Is the OP completely unaware of ANY reasons? did he say that anywhere or speculate what MIGHT be the reason?

I find it curious that someone can have NO clue as to what the reasons might be until the spouse suddenly leaves with kids and wants a divorce...

So, OP:
if I did NOT miss something in your posts that explained something,
DO YOU KNOW OR HAVE LEARNED SINCE why she left and wants a divorce?
 
First off...let me offer my sympathies. I am going through the exact same [censored] right now.

The reschedule of a hearing is not a surprise. You are entitled to have more time to get your affairs in order. My wife tried the same [censored]. She filed and told me my hearing was the very next Friday. I told her it would get pushed back (I attended law school) and it did.

This first hearing is just a preliminary thing. It's supposed to address the interim period between your separation and final divorce decree.

I wish I could offer a great line of wisdom. I don't have any. It's just a [censored] hand you've been dealt all the way around. I found out my wife had kept in touch with an old college boyfriend (we were married 6 years) and when he finally made himself available...she left me and took my 3 kids with her. She claimed I was everything from abusive to delusional. All I've ever done is go to work so she could stay home with the kids and that penalized me when I wanted to be the custodial parent. Since she's been with them from the beginning no court will believe my argument that she's unstable after letting her be with them the last 4 years. I never saw it coming either as I always trusted her and had no reason to believe she was carrying on something behind my back.

I know people think they are helping on here. There are some good comments, however this is one of those situations that until you've walked that mile...you have no idea. I truly wish you the best of luck. I have been amazed at how much a dad, who desperately wants to be with his kids, can be pushed back just because "she" found something better.
 
My prayers with you Hannibal,

MI is a no fault state for divorce, either party can opt for divorce without showing any fault, 60 days without kids, 180 days with kids.
 
Exactly, it's hard to get honest information on this topic. The bottom line is unless men are having affairs with other men more than women are having affairs with other women, statistically speaking, for every man in an affair, there is a woman, meaning participation by gender is essentially equal.

Not all men in affairs are married, not all women in affairs are married. But all involved in the affair are willing participants in having an affair and earn the right to be counted as such.

Originally Posted By: Nickdfresh
Originally Posted By: javacontour
Originally Posted By: Nickdfresh
Originally Posted By: javacontour
The numbers are fairly even. Unless women are having affairs with other women, or men with other men, the genders are equally represented when it comes to affairs.

So don't buy the line that men have more affairs than women. It simply isn't true unless you really think men are having same sex affairs.

...


I don't think so. I agree the stereotype of the philandering husband/boyfriend with his innocent wife/GF sitting home is a bit overwrought, but every study I've seen says that men have at least a slight edge in the cheating dept. However, most recent studies show that women are catching up and are not far behind in the cheating dept...


So you are saying they are having affairs with other men?

Because unless they are, the numbers are fairly even.

Now if you consider that some men may have multiple women on the side, one might even conclude that MORE women than men are involved in affairs.

The marital status of the participants don't matter. If she's involved in an affair with a married man, she's just as much a player in the affair as he is.

She may not know he's married, but she certainly knows she's not married to him.

There is a certain logic in not having sex with anyone other than your spouse. It keeps you from being the unwitting co-conspirator in an affair.


I'm just going by statistics I've seen in studies. I think the last one I saw was 19% of women reported cheating whereas 23% of men did, IIRC. Not nearly as great a disparity as the previous study in which 15% of women reported cheating. But such studies of course are prone to flaws in question semantics and the honesty of the subjects...
 
Originally Posted By: CourierDriver
This personal soap opera has gone on way to long.


BITOG is all ABOUT personal soap operas, although in initial postings they usually appear to be about car purchases or maintenance. Why be down on this particular one?
 
went for 1st hearing for temp motions.
judge gave me the house, asked her to rent (I am paying) and find a job.
kids 50/50 for now till eval is done by friends of court.

keep praying for us pls.
 
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