Originally Posted By: javacontour
Some more important steps.
1. Do not leave your marital home.
2. Do not let her take your child.
3. If you want to control the matter, file the divorce yourself. Even if you don't want a divorce. If you file, you control much of the timing of the process. She has to respond to you, not the other way around. You can file for custody of the child.
4. Gather facts. Let your lawyer hold the facts. Phone records, computer records, etc. Anything that is on mutual property such as a cell phone in your name or a computer in your possession is likely free game.
5. Document your parenting. If you take your child to school, daycare, doctors appointments, etc, you want documentation in a custody fight.
I'm sure a good lawyer will have more advice. You need to operate on logic, not feelings here. If you can't keep your cool around her, then let your lawyer or someone else do the talking.
If she wants to move out, let her. However, don't let her take your child.
If she is an authorized user on your credit, cut off her access today.
If she has moved out of the marital home, seek both custody AND child support from her.
Many of these things may let her witness the reality and legitimate consequences of her actions.
Do not act vindictively, you need to protect your child from the drama she is bringing to your family.
She is free to go, but you must protect your child from her drama.
This is all good advice. The one who files first controls a lot of the aspects of the divorce. I went through a divorce in 2004 after 14 1/2 years of marriage and it was no fun and ours was not even very nasty. I will tell you that it sucks to pay a big portion of my take home pay every month for CS and to lose half of my 401K and to not get to see my kids very often since she moved 85 miles away.
Go find a good attorney asap.
