Boy, oh boy...did I ever step out of line tonight.

[mrsilv04]

I actually went so far out of line tonight, to correct my 5 year old nephew in front of his mother, at my parents' house.

And my nephew was completely stunned when it happened. I don't think it has ever happened much before.

Now, my sister and brother in law are upset at me (that's putting it mildly). Sis hasn't realized it yet, but our parents actually support what I did.

My nephew was out of control, and my sister was doing nothing about it. When my sister was speaking, he would talk louder than her, at one point, he went so far to tell her to "shut up"... and my sister just acts like it isn't happening.

Remember that he's five years old, and he demands to be the center of attention.

Then, he started doing the same thing when I was talking. And that lasted for about 30 seconds before I corrected him. He was trying to talk over me, and was waving his arms in the air.

I reached out, took his hands, and put them down in his lap, and told him in a normal tone of voice to "hush".

That's when my sister came unglued. I know it wasn't my place to do that. I should have simply got up and walked out of the room.

Sis then told me that I acted the same way when I was his age. No... if I had told either one of our parents to "shut up" when I was 5... there would have been some serious consequences. (Well, it never would have happened in the first place... but if it had happened, it wouldn't have been pleasant).

Sis has apparently completely forgotten how WE were raised as kids.

Her view on this, is that since I don't have kids, I don't have a clue on any part of what it would take to raise a child.

I hate to tell her, but my dog is better behaved than her kid.

I guess that either she'll get over it.... or maybe she won't.

 

[mechanicx]

I don't see anything wrong or out of line with what you did or why your sister should be mad at you. When I was a kid, adults even if they weren't related wouldn't put up with a kid misbehaving and you are his uncle. What about when your nephew starts school and misbehaves? Are the teachers not going to correct him either?

 

[Not the Autorx Frank]

it's about time someone stood up and stopped the madness. What's right is right. Don't back down.

 

[Drew99GT]

No offense, but it sounds like the problem is your sister and her husband!

In my family, if I acted like that around my parents and my extended family, my uncle would have whooped my behind, my parents would have said thank you, and we'd likely be throwing around a baseball 10 minutes later.

 

[jcwit]

I see nothing wrong with what you did. Its obvious that boy needs some discipline. Your sis will REALLY have problems in a few years.

 

[Vizzy]

Originally Posted By: Not the Autorx Frank
it's about time someone stood up and stopped the madness. What's right is right. Don't back down.



The child was interupting YOU, not just your sister.

You had every right, no DUTY, to correct him!

This child clearly needs his parents to discpline him.

I consider the failure of parents to instill discpline and manners to be neglectful parenting.

 

[97tbird]

You did the right thing.
I hate unruly kids and hate parents who think unruly, rude, obnoxious are ok, even more.
I never hide my distaste for badly behaved kids, esp. when they're old enough to realized what's good/bad.

 

[robertcope]

I dislike the "you don't have kids, so you couldn't possibly know" line that people like to give. You did the right thing. I would hush anyone trying to talk over me, kid or not.

robert

 

[BeanCounter]

When I have kids, my brother(s) and/or close family are basically an extension of parental figures. If mine misbehaved, I'd fully expect my older brother to discipline. If his act like that, he knows I'd discipline.

What you did would pale in comparison to what I would probably do, and I think what I'd do would be acceptable.

Don't feel bad whatsoever. You're trying to contribute to a child growing up to be a respectable part of society, not a delinquent.
You're such a bad person for that...haha.

 

[crinkles]

you did the right thing. our kids are 3 and 2 and love talking over us - we are pretty strict on making them excuse themselves before they start talking, if my wife and me were talking to each other. otherwise there are consequences.

 

[Mr Nice]

You did the right thing, but if it were me I would have kept my mouth shut and let her child act like a brat.
If he acts this way at 5 years old, just wait till he is around 15 or 16 and your sister would have wished she disciplined him when he was younger.

Something like this happened when I was a the supermarket and I was looking at a child acting up and his mom asked me....... "What the [censored] are you looking at ?"

I looked this lady straight in her eyes and I told her not only had zero parenting skills, but she needed to take her child to have a physiatric evaluation.

 

[jorton]

The boy will respect you more than he respects his mother. Kids need someone outside the house to look up to for support. Assuming you are male, be available to be his mentor and friend from now on.

 

[daman]

The kid needs a GOOD

...

we all got it back in the day and are still here to tell about it,kids today have no respect.

 

[Solo2driver]

As a parent of 2 kids and husband of a teacher, you did the right thing. Maybe it was just the shock they needed (or the kid needed) to see that the behavior needed to be curbed.

You can always counter with, "We were raised to be respectful, and I think you should be respectful also. Thank you for being quieter. Now, what would you like to say?"

My 3 year old asks nicely "Excuse me" if adults are speaking so that she does not interrupt. It's very sweet, and she understands its place and use. Her brother, on the other hand, is usually busy trying to electrocute himself or break expensive things to bother with pleasantries like that haha. Just like his dad?? LOL

 

[Vizzy]

Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette

Something like this happened when I was a the supermarket and I was looking at a child acting up and his mom asked me "What the [censored] are you looking at ?"

I looked this lady straight in her eyes and I told her she not only had zero parenting skills, but she needed to take her child to have a physiatric evaluation.


That is the problem in our society today.....in public most all people will simply not react to things like you mention....now decades ago they DID..but today you almost never see this..This is exactly WHY that woman you spoke to allowed the kid to act up in the first place ...You surprised the heck out of her!!!!!!! She knew she was being irresponsible by not controlling her bratty kid.

 

[tinmanSC]

She is honestly upset at you for this? wow. She's not living in the real world when it comes to raising children.

 

[Barkleymut]

The only thing everyone might be overlooking is the possibility that the child may have a mental illness. Usually parents will not say anything, even to close relatives about this. If this is the case then the parents have hopefully found that by ignoring this behavior it eventually goes away. If addressed it may get worse. Unfortunatly I know about this from experience and it is a very unpleasant place for the parents, not to mention the child.

Obviously, the probability is that your nephew is a spoiled brat and needs someone to jerk a knot in his tail. I am 37 and have zero recollection of any of my friends ever talking back to their parents. Growing up in a small town was nice because you knew everyone and they all knew your parents and you had better not step out of line. Now living in a large city it seems that kids feel they are entitled to express their worthless opinions as if they were valid.

Just my .02

 

[Gary Allan]

I find nothing wrong with what you did. If there are any next encounters, I would take time ..and really MAKE TIME to have a personal conversation with him at length. It will be an unremarkable conversation for content, but you'll act interested anyway.

When I get gang tackled by the two older grandchildren and they want me to immediately do something with them, I ask very nicely if I can say hello to Emma. It takes about 3 rounds to get an agreement, but I insisted that I'd be right there after I get done saying hello to Emma since (at the time) she was the least mobile.

The description of the event indicates that he was the only child among a bunch of adults. Not a whole lot of stuff for him to do.

That's not to say that he's NOT undisciplined.

Little kids ..little problem. Big kids ..big problems.

 

[John_K]

Children need to be TAUGHT how to behave. That's all you did.

Why is it nowdays that discipline and child abuse are seen as one and the same?

John

 

[crazyoildude]

Actually you did ok but a good tune up would work the best you know the ol back of the hand..