Average wedding in America $ 25,000

[Mr Nice]

Originally Posted By: javacontour
Originally Posted By: Al
Originally Posted By: javacontour
One of the studies showed that the tendency to cheat has an age component.

Women are MORE likely to cheat when younger. Men when they are older.

I think you have to read the whole body of articles. Like I said, I found more supporting the side that men cheat more and abuse more. How many protection orders do you see filed by men. Men tend to abuse period. And Most divorces are initiated by women due to abuse and husband's infidility. The guy you cited just brushed this off and disagreed. My daughter initiated divorce bc husband abused/cheated on her. Anklike I said everyone we know that had a divorce was abuse/infidility and filed mostly by women.

I realize If I were kicked to the curb like you I might feel differently. We'll just disagree on facts here. I have no dog in the fight.

And like I said, Dr Harley has seen thousands, so I would go with his experience as a broader view than your experience. He’s been in the business for close to 50 years, so I tend to believe his experience is more than simply anecdotal.

Regarding men seeking orders of protection, there is a stigma for men claiming their wives abused them. Men who seek shelter are turned away because shelters don’t take men.

I’m not saying men are better. I’m saying that there is little difference in the morality of men and women. How they mistreat their spouses may be different, but each gender has no moral high ground.


Women know and do desire to ‘hook their wagon’ to a guy they feel can give them what they want.

 

[nickaluch]

Just asked my wife about the cost of our wedding. 25 years ago it cost us for our wedding , honey moon with spending money 36k. We received in gifts a total of 41k. Engagement ring cost me 6k so I'm guessing I broke even.

 

[dlundblad]

Originally Posted By: javacontour
Because sometimes the blushing bride is really a cheating.... once you've married her.

Probably can't type a word for the .... as it would violate the rules here.

But she can cheat and still get 1/2 of the stuff, the kids, etc.

Something is really wrong with a system that rewards the cheater.

Originally Posted By: dlundblad
Why all the divorce talk? Bitter folks who've gone through them before?

Granted, I am not as old as some of you here, but I do know being your bride to be's friend PRIOR to dating/ marriage is the way to go.

We had meet when we were seeing other people thus we knew what we were getting into when we first started dating. Some of you will probably say I have a lot to learn and that is fine.. I'll admit I do.


Definitely don't disagree with you here as there are a lot of funked up relationships out there. Divorces suck, the children suffer, the grand children potentially suffer and the courts favor the mom. Yes, I know.

This does not really answer my question though.

If someone told me not to buy a Grand Cherokee because of poor reliability, I'd laugh at their face because of my personal experience. I am still young though. Plenty of time to get burned and learn a good lesson.

 

[Silverado12]

I'm a more practical thinker and IMO I would rather spend the money on a nice car or something I will use for years to come than an event or vacation. I grew up in WV and had nothing as a young adult. I moved to VA for more opportunity but that mindset followed me. It's all personal preference and what you can afford. I have zero debt because of that mindset.

 

[Al]

Originally Posted By: dlundblad
If someone told me not to buy a Grand Cherokee because of poor reliability, I'd laugh at their face because of my personal experience. I am still young though. Plenty of time to get burned and learn a good lesson.

I always told my daughter to watch carefully how the guy she dated treats others..bc eventually he will treat you the same way. She didn't listen. But has told me I was right and has told her dauthter the same thing.
The same would hold true for the guy..watch how she treats others. As they say don't let the little head do the thinking for the big head.

 

[Mr Nice]

Al,

Especially how the guy treats his mother...

 

[grampi]

Originally Posted By: hatt
Originally Posted By: grampi
Originally Posted By: hatt
In general they are dumb. Almost everyone would have been better off with a $5000 or less wedding and the extra cash to pay debt or use as a down payment or some other investment. Expensive rings are also dumb.


That's your opinion, even though you state it as fact...
Exactly which part do you disagree with?


You either are not married yourself, or you have no daughters, or you have daughters and you are trying to prepare them for you telling them no when it comes time for you to pay for their weddings...you people saying expensive weddings are stupid are only looking at it from your perspective. A lot of women dream about their weddings from the time they are a kid. It's a lifetime event for them, and to them, it's worth every penny spent. My wife thinks me buying myself a Corvette as a retirement gift to myself is stupid, so it's just a matter of perspective...

 

[Shannow]

grampi,
now where on the earth would an innocent girl get that notion of a princess barbie wedding into their head in the first place ?

Kids don't "dream" of that stuff without it being implanted by either society, or their parents.

Follow the money...again.

especially if it's debt money.

If they can programme parents to want to go into that debt, and programme their daughters to "want it", and that debt is secured against their already strong asset base, then it's win win all the way to the bank.

So when you thusly programmed your kids, did you realise that YOU were being manipulated ?

 

[grampi]

Originally Posted By: Shannow
grampi,
now where on the earth would an innocent girl get that notion of a princess barbie wedding into their head in the first place ?

Kids don't "dream" of that stuff without it being implanted by either society, or their parents.

Follow the money...again.

especially if it's debt money.

If they can programme parents to want to go into that debt, and programme their daughters to "want it", and that debt is secured against their already strong asset base, then it's win win all the way to the bank.

So when you thusly programmed your kids, did you realise that YOU were being manipulated ?


I see, it's just brainwashing, right? No one can have any desires on their own without being brainwashed? Have I been brainwashed into wanting a Corvette too? You're funny...

 

[HemiHawk]

Originally Posted By: grampi
I see, it's just brainwashing, right? No one can have any desires on their own without being brainwashed? Have I been brainwashed into wanting a Corvette too? You're funny...


I wouldn't say brainwashed exactly but I see Shannow's point... I've wanted a Nissan GTR since I can remember... But my parents aren't going to buy me one because I've signed a government contract with a girl.

 

[Shannow]

Originally Posted By: grampi
I see, it's just brainwashing, right? No one can have any desires on their own without being brainwashed? Have I been brainwashed into wanting a Corvette too? You're funny...


Social Status junk like that ?

Of course it's programmed...

Why would you "want" a corvette, in the absence of social stimulus...why would your wife think it was a bad idea (bar the previously mentioned shakey retirement/debt problems)

Do princesses become princesses without you two creating them, and where do they get the beauty and the beast stereotypes that lead to the statistically relevant divorce.

 

[Shannow]

Originally Posted By: HemiHawk
I've wanted a Nissan GTR since I can remember...


I wanted one too for a long long time...After they won Bathurst, and became the ridiculously expensive grey import (that won Bathurst)...that's programming...Not saying that Freddie Gibson is a master hypnotist, but when the cigarette companies stated that their $Millions in advertising simply didn't work, they should have sacked their advertising departments, rather then the F1 cars being "JPS Lotus", and Winfield.

No more, or no less than being able to see the Golden Arches from the town boundary when on a trip, when there are dozens of potentially great eateries before and after them.

We are hierarchical animals.

No other animals have the capacity to go into debt for (perceived) status.

 

[The Critic]

Originally Posted By: HemiHawk
Not to mention the scam that is engagement rings... Luckily there are cheaper alternatives now.

Quote:
According to a recent survey by EBates, almost half of American men and women expect to spend between $1,000-$5,000 on an engagement ring, which happens to be just about the national average.

“The average cost of an engagement ring is $5,000, but you should spend what you can afford to spend,” Anne Chertoff, a trend expert at WeddingWire, told Forbes via email.

FORBES


5K sounds about right, but is still on the lower end of average. I would say that most folks who are financially established and truly ready to get married are probably in the high 4 digit range, at least from what I have seen.

Due to the age of my friends, I have been to a few weddings in the last 1-2 years and $25K will get you an "OK" wedding at a lower priced venue. At least where I am currently living.

 

[Shannow]

Originally Posted By: The Critic

5K sounds about right, but is still on the lower end of average. I would say that most folks who are financially established and truly ready to get married are probably in the high 4 digit range, at least from what I have seen.

Due to the age of my friends, I have been to a few weddings in the last 1-2 years and $25K will get you an "OK" wedding at a lower priced venue. At least where I am currently living.


Bingo, that's the programming that I am talking about.

 

[Vikas]

The numbers are laughable. Have you ever been invited to Asian (well to do Indian and/or Chinese professional parents in USA) wedding with multi day extravaganza? Add another zero to that number! That $25K will just cover the open bar bill for 250+ guests.

 

[yeti]

Originally Posted By: Shannow
Originally Posted By: grampi
I see, it's just brainwashing, right? No one can have any desires on their own without being brainwashed? Have I been brainwashed into wanting a Corvette too? You're funny...


Social Status junk like that ?

Of course it's programmed...

Why would you "want" a corvette, in the absence of social stimulus...why would your wife think it was a bad idea (bar the previously mentioned shakey retirement/debt problems)

Do princesses become princesses without you two creating them, and where do they get the beauty and the beast stereotypes that lead to the statistically relevant divorce.


interesting thread.

brainwashing is not the right word. guys are the car people. it's in our blood, "programmed", if you will, in guys to want the past/present muscle/pony or sports cars. it's a guy thing. all of the guys that I've ever known have wanted an above mentioned type of car, from a young age -- long before the advertisers/marketers try to "brainwash" people, per the different media.
(I'm guessing that grampi -- because he's a guy -- wants this type of car.most regular working type guys cannot afford this type of car, due to having/raising a family.it's in middle age/near retirement age that money might be "freed up" to finally afford a car that a guy has always wanted.this scenario is commonplace.i hope that he can buy his 'vette.
i'm no different. late last year, I mentioned that I would be buying another vehicle with money made on one of the Canadian pot stocks. I just made a deal recently.)


same thing with girls. they begin playing with dolls, "playing mommy", because it's programmed into them. this turns them into the nurturers.as well, they all want to be a princess, and live in a fairytale world.part of this is wanting a huge expensive wedding.then the brainwashing begins, when they start reading the goofy teen female mags, when they are 'tweens.
their brainwashing comes in the form of wanting weddings with ice sculpture swans, releasing of doves, and more recently, releasing of butterflies.i don't get this, at all. but, I'm not female.i won't elaborate more, since I don't want to write a novel.

back on topic -- I'm with the majority here, stating that it doesn't make sense, IF one is a working stiff to spend 5 figure money on a wedding.some have used the word dumb, and one stated "idiot" .grampi is defending his stance on this, because he has done this. twice.to each his own.

i talked to a neighbor last fall about this. he was reading material on his daughter's wedding, and said that this will cost him about 40 k.as well, he'll be giving the couple a new full sized car.but, he'll pay for the wedding with last year's dividend income.there's a lot of money there, so it's not a big deal.

it's comes down to differing opinions, and different levels of income.

 

[KrisZ]

Originally Posted By: Shannow
grampi,
now where on the earth would an innocent girl get that notion of a princess barbie wedding into their head in the first place ?

Kids don't "dream" of that stuff without it being implanted by either society, or their parents.

Follow the money...again.

especially if it's debt money.

If they can programme parents to want to go into that debt, and programme their daughters to "want it", and that debt is secured against their already strong asset base, then it's win win all the way to the bank.

So when you thusly programmed your kids, did you realise that YOU were being manipulated ?


Spot on!
For every "princess" that wants her perfect wedding, there is usually a childhood filled with Disney characters and parents, or at least mom, that grew watching the same stuff.

I'm not saying that men are not being programmed from childhood, they sure are, it's just to lust over different things.

 

[quint]

This has quickly become one of the dumbest threads I've seen on here.

 

[grampi]

Originally Posted By: Shannow
Originally Posted By: grampi
I see, it's just brainwashing, right? No one can have any desires on their own without being brainwashed? Have I been brainwashed into wanting a Corvette too? You're funny...


Social Status junk like that ?

Of course it's programmed...

Why would you "want" a corvette, in the absence of social stimulus...why would your wife think it was a bad idea (bar the previously mentioned shakey retirement/debt problems)

Do princesses become princesses without you two creating them, and where do they get the beauty and the beast stereotypes that lead to the statistically relevant divorce.


You assume way too much. You assume my wife and/or I "programmed" our daughters, which we didn't. You assume the reason I want a Corvette involves some sort of "social stimulus", which it doesn't. Did you ever stop to think people buy Corvettes simply because they're fun to drive? You assume I have a "shaky" retirement/debt problem, which couldn't be further from the truth. You assume you have people pegged when you couldn't be more wrong...

 

[javacontour]

Not speaking about anyone in particular, just generalities here.

I think some have a hard time distinguishing between needs and wants.

I want an Aston Martin. I need a car that gets me, my tools and parts from home to customer sites.

I'm as much a free market guy as anyone here. I have no problem with someone buying an Aston Martin. I don't care what you drive. However, I'm not sure anyone needs it. Again, not that need is any qualification in the Western free world.

What I think is unhealthy is whey people mistake want for need.

I do believe there are some, both men and women, who mistake want for need.

If your goal is to marry, then perhaps all you need is a trip to the courthouse or, if you think it's a religious thing, a visit to your local church with a few witnesses. But many want the Cinderella wedding. That's fine, as long as you recognize it as a want and not some basic need.

Of course, I can go all Maslow and his hierarchy of needs. If you are starving, then your needs are pretty much basic food, shelter, etc.

In the relatively prosperous US, needs move up Maslow's Pyramid. I think what many of us are discussing here are the top two places on Maslow's hierarchy of needs.