"Thank You" no longer a thing?
- Thread starter Dave P.
- Start date
I learned a long time ago that if you decide to give a gift you must do so with no expectation - to do otherwise is a recipe for disappointment.
If you get a thank you great, if not so be it.
It’s not that I disagree you SHOULD get a thank it’s just that it’s unlikely
If you get a thank you great, if not so be it.
It’s not that I disagree you SHOULD get a thank it’s just that it’s unlikely
Having gone through two weddings myself, I never expect anything from the bride or groom. I find the whole experience stressful and borderline overwhelming. Somehow you typically spend your entire wedding trying to accommodate everyone else.
No need to also force them to list, remember who gave what, and send out thank yous in a time that likely also involves moving or other large life changes. Or just a honeymoon.
If someone needs a thank you, I'd much prefer they just attend and not give a gift. Honestly. I don't think newlyweds care about gifts and would consider the lack of a gift rude -- or even notice.
No need to also force them to list, remember who gave what, and send out thank yous in a time that likely also involves moving or other large life changes. Or just a honeymoon.
If someone needs a thank you, I'd much prefer they just attend and not give a gift. Honestly. I don't think newlyweds care about gifts and would consider the lack of a gift rude -- or even notice.
JHZR2
Staff member
Our kids write thank you notes for every gift they’re given. Is it a pain? Yes. Does it make for a more polite and appreciative situation? Absolutely. I also make sure they say thank you when someone gives them something, tells them something, or does something for them.
It takes parenting. Plain and simple.
And from my observation, the boomers didn’t always parent so well, and so their kids didn’t know how to parent the next generation, and so it’s getting lost. Not all my friends, who are in the age group mostly of parents born very late 40s-mid 50s, had all the customs pushed on them. And they pushed back. I noticed it in school, growing up, and today. And the parents let it slide. And that’s not so much a poke at boomers, per se, though the two income and divorced families I suspect to correlate… but instead that it is in my observations a multi-generational loss that is occurring.
It takes parenting. Plain and simple.
And from my observation, the boomers didn’t always parent so well, and so their kids didn’t know how to parent the next generation, and so it’s getting lost. Not all my friends, who are in the age group mostly of parents born very late 40s-mid 50s, had all the customs pushed on them. And they pushed back. I noticed it in school, growing up, and today. And the parents let it slide. And that’s not so much a poke at boomers, per se, though the two income and divorced families I suspect to correlate… but instead that it is in my observations a multi-generational loss that is occurring.
This may be the quote you were thinking of? It's actually a paraphrase by a 20th century dude of several Greek writers' complaints about kids that often gets miss-attributed to Mr. S.Socrates had something to say about the lack of manners over 2,400 years ago. It must have been a very slow decline or it couldn't still be happening.
I found an easy fix, I no longer give gifts (except the grandchildren). I still tip workers and I always get a Thank You. I did have to speak to my Daughter though. Not that I expect a Thank You from small children, I just needed to know that what I mailed they received. I would not want them to think Poppy forgot their birthday. And I usually get a Thank you note in crayon which makes me smile.
Just wait until I start attributing random quotes to you!
I didn't say nuffin!Just wait until I start attributing random quotes to you!
But "they" don't know that!I didn't say nuffin!
I gave 2 $75 gift cards to two CNAs that stayed over their shift 4 hours.. $150 total. And they both said thank you for sure…
My other coworkers said thank you has well and were very very grateful for my gesture. Because we had only 1 CNA on the schedule for 54 patients during that time.. Instead we had 4 because another very nice coworker stayed too.
I told that other coworker thank you more than once.
My supervisors above me thanked me as well. I called one of them and she was shocked by what I did. She said she was speechless… She told me she thought no one had ever did what I did there. I told her it was no big deal and that I felt like it was the right thing to do. Right to do for everyone… my patients and my coworkers.
I greatly, greatly appreciated all of their thank you received.
My other coworkers said thank you has well and were very very grateful for my gesture. Because we had only 1 CNA on the schedule for 54 patients during that time.. Instead we had 4 because another very nice coworker stayed too.
I told that other coworker thank you more than once.
My supervisors above me thanked me as well. I called one of them and she was shocked by what I did. She said she was speechless… She told me she thought no one had ever did what I did there. I told her it was no big deal and that I felt like it was the right thing to do. Right to do for everyone… my patients and my coworkers.
I greatly, greatly appreciated all of their thank you received.
In my area of upper middle class and a few upper class income heir kids around daughters age (10) write thank you notes for their birthday gifts or party.
It’s not dead, not sure how it carried forward.
It’s not dead, not sure how it carried forward.
Absolutely not acceptable. I too lament declining standards. It saddens me that f bombs on bumper stickers are an acceptable thing. But gifts such as these still require a thank you. That’s the still current standard. A wedding gift requires a card. The PT gift should receive a card but an email wouldn’t be an unmitigated disaster, just not a best practice. Even the people who think nothing of f bombs on cars agree with this.
Of course, there’s no actual law broken, but I’m saying that even today there is a social penalty involved.
Agreed. These things need to be taught. Not just the social requirement, which is a real thing. But the more important actual appreciation, which is generally lost upon a child.
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There have always been people that say thanks and people that don't, this is not a new thing, imo. I agree people should say thanks, acknowledge someone's generosity or kindness but as know that's not always what happens. I work with a lot of teens and young adults and MANY will say 'thank you' every time if something nice is done for them. But some don't. I think it's from being raised by parents - who probably never said thanks growing up themselves - that just never taught them. It's unfortunate because not doing this expected thing can greatly limit your success in life in a lot of ways.
All that said though, I feel OP's pain, it doesn't take much to say thank you and if you went out of your way for someone - ie sending people you barely know $200 - it's reasonable to expect some type of acknowledgment.
All that said though, I feel OP's pain, it doesn't take much to say thank you and if you went out of your way for someone - ie sending people you barely know $200 - it's reasonable to expect some type of acknowledgment.
How many Christmas cards do you get anymore. Or Birthday cards. Its just not a thing.
Yes a thank you would be nice, but if you require a thank you to feel the exchange is complete, don't give. Its no longer a gift at that point.
Most people give money to such events because they feel compelled. "bosses daughter got married, I sent $200 gift, now where is my thank you card?" The bosses kid likely has no clue who you even are.
The whole notion of all these required "gift giving" events is the issue, not the giving or receiving part.
Yes a thank you would be nice, but if you require a thank you to feel the exchange is complete, don't give. Its no longer a gift at that point.
Most people give money to such events because they feel compelled. "bosses daughter got married, I sent $200 gift, now where is my thank you card?" The bosses kid likely has no clue who you even are.
The whole notion of all these required "gift giving" events is the issue, not the giving or receiving part.
I think it all falls under "etiquette". A lot of the "should-dos" have gradually fallen by the wayside as society has become a more ME ME ME one. There should be somewhat of an expectation of a "thank you" if you send/provide something and that same expectation should be on the side of the receiver, too, to show appreciation, ie: I received something, I give thanks. @SCMaintenance "The whole notion of all these required "gift giving" events is the issue, not the giving or receiving part." I agree with this, too. Sending out notices en masse to people you don't even know in order to receive loot shouldn't happen like your bosses daughter example.
