"Thank You" no longer a thing?

[atikovi]

I did send a check to the bride and groom for $200.00 which I thought was sufficient for a wedding I wasn't going to.

A wedding isn't supposed to be a solicitation for gifts. If you attend, I can see a small contribution of say, $50, if you are consuming their food and drinks plus the cost of the venue. Otherwise, a nice card congratulating them should suffice. Now I've never been to a wedding, so what do I know.

 

[Zee09]

I have seen older family members be very harsh with this behavior. No card for a wedding gift..
They would call you up to see if the thank you cards were sent. Yes they would.
In the end if you didn't send them a card they would not entertain another invite from you of any kind.
I don't give to get but a thank you is so easy to give, why not give it?

 

[Zee09]

A wedding isn't supposed to be a solicitation for gifts. If you attend, I can see a small contribution of say, $50, if you are consuming their food and drinks plus the cost of the venue. Otherwise, a nice card congratulating them should suffice. Now I've never been to a wedding, so what do I know.

That ain't gonna fly these days. They want large sums of atikovi cash...right on the barrel head.

 

[Dave P.]

I never expect a thank you, but my inlaws and my family were well raised to be courteous, and I see my wife getting hand-written thank you cards from bridal and baby shower gifts and weddings we attended.
To the O.P., I don't think you should give gifts to hospital workers. I did this once and was sternly reprimanded by someone in the office. That response mad me angry by the way this was handled - I don't have the employee handbook!

This was not a hospital. It was a small, independently owned P/T facility. Yes, I could have just said thank you and walked out the door and hopefully, never see them again. I have in my life, gotten very few tips, but when I do, I've always appreciated it so I tend to be a tipper. If I go to the Home Depot and a guy helps me load washer or dryer in the car, I'll give him a few bucks even though it took about a minute. I'm just a good guy or maybe just a sucker!

 

[JTK]

I'm with you Dave. You should get a thank you from giving $200 cash gifts and $50 gift cards. It's the right thing to do, but not likely going to happen from someone ~35 and younger anymore. Is it the parents fault? Maybe.

Now get off my lawn!

 

[Dave P.]

A wedding isn't supposed to be a solicitation for gifts. If you attend, I can see a small contribution of say, $50, if you are consuming their food and drinks plus the cost of the venue. Otherwise, a nice card congratulating them should suffice. Now I've never been to a wedding, so what do I know.

If I attend a wedding, I try to at least have the gift cover the expense of us being there; food, drink, entertainment, etc. In the case of the wedding I didn't attend, it was one of my oldest friend's daughter. I felt it appropriate. If she ever gets married a second time, she's SOL!!

 

[Escape08]

Well, I will never forget this it happened several years ago. There were girls selling girl scout cookies in front of Barnes and Nobles. I was in a hurry to get into the store and one of the girls said "Let me open the door for you, SIR". I said "Thank you". After, I left the store I told the girls I'll be back to buy some next time. I didn't broke my promise and the next day I stopped by and bought a few boxes. They all said "Thank You, SIR". Very good upbringing I was very impressed

 

[Urshurak776]

My cousins daughter (is that my second cousin?) Got married a month ago. Central Texas. We could not atttend, but we sent them money for their honeymoon fund. Just yesterday got a Thank You card from them. It was really nice.

 

[ARCOgraphite]

This was not a hospital. It was a small, independently owned P/T facility. Yes, I could have just said thank you and walked out the door and hopefully, never see them again. I have in my life, gotten very few tips, but when I do, I've always appreciated it so I tend to be a tipper. If I go to the Home Depot and a guy helps me load washer or dryer in the car, I'll give him a few bucks even though it took about a minute. I'm just a good guy or maybe just a sucker!

"Doc, do a good job on the Open Heart and I'll have a nice fat manila envelope waiting for ya"

 

[doitmyself]

Urshurak776​

If it bothers anyone, then consider why you need validation from others to be fulfilled. Like @JeffKeryk said, doing something for others is it's own reward.

alarmguy​

For me giving is the reward but the response of appreciation is the confirmation

Fascinating discussion. Urshurak776's idea follows my workplace satisfaction mantra taught to me 5 decades ago: Work hard to please yourself first, and things will generally fall into place well. If you work hard just to please others, you will always be let down.

But alarmguy's opinion is valid also. The feel good part of validating your actions is uplifting, satisfying, and of positive nature - "maybe there is hope" sentiment.

I suppose this all boils down to we wish for everyone to be decent people and it's disappointing when they are not. I'm in the camp that if someone does not return "proper manners", I don't feel compelled to continue my niceties.

 

[Pew]

Eh, a lack of a 'thank you' only affirms the other person's disrespect; rare occasions I'll say "you're welcome, [explicit words]" if they don't.

 

[JeffKeryk]

That ain't gonna fly these days. They want large sums of atikovi cash...right on the barrel head.

So do I.

 

[Zee09]

So do I.

Me three...

 

[4WD]

After a most famous freeze that beat up Houston - my son spent a couple days at his friends - neither had power - and my son was in an all electric apartment …
His friends house had a fireplace and lots of wood …
After that - gave his buddy a $750 generator with ~ 8 hours …
Yeah, same thing …

 

[4WD]

My cousins daughter (is that my second cousin?) Got married a month ago. Central Texas. We could not atttend, but we sent them money for their honeymoon fund. Just yesterday got a Thank You card from them. It was really nice.

It does feel nice - had a friend up in Canada who lost his mom last year … I never even met her - but they had an in lieu of flowers charity and I put in a nice donation … never let him know - but a card came PDQ with a hand written note - that’s class

 

[spasm3]

Now I've never been to a wedding, so what do I know.

 

[Dave Hess]

This was not a hospital. It was a small, independently owned P/T facility. Yes, I could have just said thank you and walked out the door and hopefully, never see them again. I have in my life, gotten very few tips, but when I do, I've always appreciated it so I tend to be a tipper. If I go to the Home Depot and a guy helps me load washer or dryer in the car, I'll give him a few bucks even though it took about a minute. I'm just a good guy or maybe just a sucker!

At Tire Kingdom I give the guy $10 to rotate my tires.

 

[AZjeff]

Expecting others to behave as you would usually leads to disappointment.

 

[JeffKeryk]

Expecting others to behave as you would usually leads to disappointment.

Yep. And giving with any expectations, including a polite "thanks", is not giving; it's bargaining.

 

[CT Rob]

All common sense ,courtesy,manners etc no longer exist