What age were you when you got married?

[Cujet]

On a recent JetBlue flight, my 50yo seat mate described how she suddenly dislikes her husband and her summer divorce plans. She claims no infidelity, just a "change" in her outlook on life. All she now wants is to have fun and go dancing. I said nothing but soooo wanted to illuminate the fact that she will devastate her upper middle class family and her husband with her financial demands, and that few men as good and reliable as the husband are going to want to take on a difficult (and she was) post menopausal woman. In the end, the wild hormone swings of menopause will win the day (with government backing, of course), and no manly advice will even slightly budge the balance point back towards center. Men deal with all sorts of marriage issues, this is one that, in my opinion, cannot be reliably predicted and only the most wealthy can plan for.

Here is how I saw it. She has a 200 acre homestead, sufficient income and a kind faithful guy who is said to still be in love with her. But she is driven to want something new. I feel for the guy and know first hand a little of what that change can mean.

 

[Leo99]

27 and 39. First time was not good. Second time is really good.

 

[john_pifer]

41.

We’re about to celebrate 3 years later this month.

3 kids all under 3 years old (2, 1, and 6 wks).

Loving it!

I had fun being single too, but now I’m seeing what I was really put here to do - be a dad to my children and a good husband to my wife!

Thankful that my wife is really good at taking care of kids. As the eldest of 13, she practically raised her siblings, and already knew how to take care of babies and kids before we ever even had our kids. So that definitely makes things easier.

I believe that the breakdown of the American family over the last 50 years or so is a plague on this country, and we had better get hold of it soon.

 

[gregk24]

I was 24, she was 21.

 

[gregk24]

41.

We’re about to celebrate 3 years later this month.

3 kids all under 3 years old (2, 1, and 6 wks).

Loving it!

I had fun being single too, but now I’m seeing what I was really put here to do - be a dad to my children and a good husband to my wife!

Thankful that my wife is really good at taking care of kids. As the eldest of 13, she practically raised her siblings, and already knew how to take care of babies and kids before we ever even had our kids. So that definitely makes things easier.

I believe that the breakdown of the American family over the last 50 years or so is a plague on this country, and we had better get hold of it soon.

Yes, and self centered youth who have no desires in life other than to please themselves. No thought of being committed to a spouse and having / raising a family. Sad times.

 

[Pew]

Yes, and self centered youth who have no desires in life other than to please themselves. No thought of being committed to a spouse and having / raising a family. Sad times.

What's wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship/marriage?

 

[BigJohn]

She was 19 and I was 20 when we were married. We dated in High School, broke up and then got back together in college. Tied the knot right after our Sophomore year in College.

Had 4 kiddos and now have 9 grand children, marrying off the baby (4th kid) next weekend.

The wife and I celebrate our 35th anniversary in June.

 

[Exhaustgases]

And then some of us learned that for real love, the right dog is the best thing. They just don't live long enough.

 

[Cujet]

What's wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship/marriage?

Absolutely nothing! In fact, from a risk based point of view, marriage is right at the top of the heap. Few things in life have a 50% failure rate.

 

[KrisZ]

What's wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship/marriage?

Nothing wrong with that, however it is actively being promoted as something to be desired and settling down, getting married and having kids is being frowned upon, especially for young women.

They’re told the should be chasing a career and don’t “submit” to a man. But it’s fine that they submit to a corporation. It’s great and empowering actually

 

[jeepman3071]

On a recent JetBlue flight, my 50yo seat mate described how she suddenly dislikes her husband and her summer divorce plans. She claims no infidelity, just a "change" in her outlook on life. All she now wants is to have fun and go dancing. I said nothing but soooo wanted to illuminate the fact that she will devastate her upper middle class family and her husband with her financial demands, and that few men as good and reliable as the husband are going to want to take on a difficult (and she was) post menopausal woman. In the end, the wild hormone swings of menopause will win the day (with government backing, of course), and no manly advice will even slightly budge the balance point back towards center. Men deal with all sorts of marriage issues, this is one that, in my opinion, cannot be reliably predicted and only the most wealthy can plan for.

Here is how I saw it. She has a 200 acre homestead, sufficient income and a kind faithful guy who is said to still be in love with her. But she is driven to want something new. I feel for the guy and know first hand a little of what that change can mean.

Multiply these feelings by about 50 and you have most modern women under the age of 35. I have a friend who is slightly younger than me (30 or 31) who got married in his 20s, has 2 kids with his wife. He has a 6 figure job, hard working, good athletic shape. His wife actually cheated on him and got pregnant by a bum who is barely older than 18 and lives at home with his parents. She just "wanted something fun and different". She is a stay at home mom, and now is demanding she is entitled to all sorts of things including not having to work but still live on her own with the kids, and by how things are looking, she will probably get it. All of her friends are cheering her on.

How would this kind of situation which is all too common influence young men to get married?

 

[Thermo1223]

Multiply these feelings by about 50 and you have most modern women under the age of 35. I have a friend who is slightly younger than me (30 or 31) who got married in his 20s, has 2 kids with his wife. He has a 6 figure job, hard working, good athletic shape. His wife actually cheated on him and got pregnant by a bum who is barely older than 18 and lives at home with his parents. She just "wanted something fun and different". She is a stay at home mom, and now is demanding she is entitled to all sorts of things including not having to work but still live on her own with the kids, and by how things are looking, she will probably get it. All of her friends are cheering her on.

How would this kind of situation which is all too common influence young men to get married?

Unfortunatley this is more common than not and it's becoming a huge problem IMO. The worst part is blaming the husband as it is somehow his fault like he "trapped" her in a marriage. I've seen it happen to people I know as well.

 

[jeepman3071]

Unfortunatley this is more common than not and it's becoming a huge problem IMO. The worst part is blaming the husband as it is somehow his fault like he "trapped" her in a marriage. I've seen it happen to people I know as well.

It becomes all too common in dating as well. It is no longer about forming a relationship with someone, a bond, etc, and now more about "what can you offer me that all these other guys on my instagram cannot?"

I think social media is the main cause of it, especially for my generation. The ability to constantly compare yourself with other people, the grass always being greener on the other side, and the ability to jump from person to person being easier now than it ever has before. Women aren't the only ones, men are obviously guilty of this as well, but with the way marriage courts are set up the women are financially incentivized to leave. I have an uncle who went through a similar thing as well, his wife dragged him through the mud for all he was worth, then was upset later on that she couldn't still be friends with him and be a part of our family.

 

[Leo99]

Absolutely nothing! In fact, from a risk based point of view, marriage is right at the top of the heap. Few things in life have a 50% failure rate.

I used to work with a guy that was thinking of divorcing his 4th wife. Told him that maybe he's not marrying the right ones. He said that his marriages last a minimum of 7 years and 7 years is the length of the average marriage so therefore, he's going better than average with his marriages.

 

[KrisZ]

On a recent JetBlue flight, my 50yo seat mate described how she suddenly dislikes her husband and her summer divorce plans. She claims no infidelity, just a "change" in her outlook on life. All she now wants is to have fun and go dancing. I said nothing but soooo wanted to illuminate the fact that she will devastate her upper middle class family and her husband with her financial demands, and that few men as good and reliable as the husband are going to want to take on a difficult (and she was) post menopausal woman. In the end, the wild hormone swings of menopause will win the day (with government backing, of course), and no manly advice will even slightly budge the balance point back towards center. Men deal with all sorts of marriage issues, this is one that, in my opinion, cannot be reliably predicted and only the most wealthy can plan for.

Here is how I saw it. She has a 200 acre homestead, sufficient income and a kind faithful guy who is said to still be in love with her. But she is driven to want something new. I feel for the guy and know first hand a little of what that change can mean.

Truly tragic. And I bet her circle of female friends is cheering her on and encouraging to do it.
At 50, I highly doubt she will have the kind of “fun” she imagines,

 

[ARCOgraphite]

Back in 1991. I held off 'till I was mid thirties. The weekend rabble-rousing and shenanigans was going to get me if I didn't settle down.
So I did.

Now I have a question - why is the Government involved in marriages - license? Really Whaa?! Surprised you dont have to renew it annually - and pay excise.

 

[Leo99]

On a recent JetBlue flight, my 50yo seat mate described how she suddenly dislikes her husband and her summer divorce plans. She claims no infidelity, just a "change" in her outlook on life. All she now wants is to have fun and go dancing. I said nothing but soooo wanted to illuminate the fact that she will devastate her upper middle class family and her husband with her financial demands, and that few men as good and reliable as the husband are going to want to take on a difficult (and she was) post menopausal woman. In the end, the wild hormone swings of menopause will win the day (with government backing, of course), and no manly advice will even slightly budge the balance point back towards center. Men deal with all sorts of marriage issues, this is one that, in my opinion, cannot be reliably predicted and only the most wealthy can plan for.

Here is how I saw it. She has a 200 acre homestead, sufficient income and a kind faithful guy who is said to still be in love with her. But she is driven to want something new. I feel for the guy and know first hand a little of what that change can mean.

My wife knows women like this. My ex-wife and the neighbor across the street were the same way. They want to be single but also have a man to support them.

A very good looking woman that I work with started dressing more provocatively and telling me and others how much she disliked her husband and stopped having marital relations with him over a year ago. I know her husband. He's not a bad guy.

 

[Thermo1223]

Back in 1991. I held off 'till I was mid thirties. The weekend rabble-rousing and shenanigans was going to get me if I didn't settle down.
So I did.

Now I have a question - why is the Government involved in marriages - license? Really Whaa?! Surprised you dont have to renew it annually - and pay excise.

I mean I get the license for legality when it comes to health issues and debts but honestly renewing it every 5 years maybe isn't a bad idea? Might weed a lot of people who shouldn't be married out of the equation.

 

[Ws6]

Reading articles of the younger generation putting off marriages later if at all. I wondered at what age members here got married.

My wife and I dated in high school, dated for 8 years and married at 25.

37, never done that. Don't regret it. Noone has ever been able to sell the idea to me. I would consider a traditional marriage, but not one that involved the state or legal marriage.

 

[GMFan]

I got married at 33 yrs old. No regrets. I would have married the wrong person if I got married earlier. I didn’t really “find myself” until I was 30.