I've had a M7.5R for about 4 and a half years, on my third motor and 7th turbo. Been up to 530whp or so, lots of ethanol, tried nearly all of the PCV/catch can products, and the usual spark plug/oil experiments. Not saying I know what's right to do (stay 100% stock, obviously), but I've seen some things on these cars.
You're street-driving a mechanically 100% stock engine. 220F is normal summer highway cruising temps. Other euro cars will hit 240+ at low load on 30-40 weight oils.
Driving in the way you're describing would be fine for 100k+ even on a built motor tuned to make 500HP. In your case, I'm sure a 5w30 would be sufficient. I've always liked the way my motors sounded on API SL Castrol 5w30.
If you want to improve valve deposits, retrofit MPI and give it the beans regularly. A slightly nicer oil is nothing compared to actually washing the valves in petrol. If it's been 40-50k since you last changed your PCV, maybe snag the latest revision as preventative maintenance.
Also, ditch the EQT tune, find someone who tapers boost off more at redline. Those IS38s are junk and like to pop. If anything their stage 1 tunes are worse since they target the same amount of boost as a stage 2 tune, but with more backpressure from the stock downpipe.