is getting married a bad idea?
- Thread starter The motor guy
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Originally Posted By: Panzerman
Originally Posted By: chiks
So where exactly did I cross my line? I am not being hard, just trying to understand where I crossed my line. Thanks for your understanding.
You didnt cross the line in your mind, because you had a bad experience and that is how you view it all. You croosed the line in the crudeness of your presentation. I had a very bad experience with my first wife and I would say it was painfully close to how you put it. ...
Got it. I was painfully straightforward. Agreed. Not meant as an insult to anybody. It is a reflection of my experiences.
At work, there is this Canadian woman in her 30's, mother of 2. anytime we happen to be alone, like in an elevator, she will rub her boobs against me. I would just take a step back and ignore her. Does her husband know about this? Of course not. Am I the only one she is seeking out? Of course not. But she is running home right on time everyday. She is never late. A perfect example of what I was referring to.
Are all women like that? No. But better be careful. Trust but verify. That has been the experience of my life.
Originally Posted By: chiks
So where exactly did I cross my line? I am not being hard, just trying to understand where I crossed my line. Thanks for your understanding.
You didnt cross the line in your mind, because you had a bad experience and that is how you view it all. You croosed the line in the crudeness of your presentation. I had a very bad experience with my first wife and I would say it was painfully close to how you put it. ...
Got it. I was painfully straightforward. Agreed. Not meant as an insult to anybody. It is a reflection of my experiences.
At work, there is this Canadian woman in her 30's, mother of 2. anytime we happen to be alone, like in an elevator, she will rub her boobs against me. I would just take a step back and ignore her. Does her husband know about this? Of course not. Am I the only one she is seeking out? Of course not. But she is running home right on time everyday. She is never late. A perfect example of what I was referring to.
Are all women like that? No. But better be careful. Trust but verify. That has been the experience of my life.
Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
the guy always gets the shaft in the end
And, that alone is reason enough to be very cautious about marriage. I have a great wife, of 25 years. So, it can happen. But, the numbers don't lie.
Roughly 50% of all first marriages end in divorce.
Roughly 50% of all intact marriages are unhappy.
Clearly, only 1/4, or 25% of married couples are happy. That's not great.
the guy always gets the shaft in the end
And, that alone is reason enough to be very cautious about marriage. I have a great wife, of 25 years. So, it can happen. But, the numbers don't lie.
Roughly 50% of all first marriages end in divorce.
Roughly 50% of all intact marriages are unhappy.
Clearly, only 1/4, or 25% of married couples are happy. That's not great.
Originally Posted By: chiks
At work, there is this Canadian woman in her 30's, mother of 2. anytime we happen to be alone, like in an elevator, she will rub her boobs against me. I would just take a step back and ignore her. Does her husband know about this? Of course not. Am I the only one she is seeking out? Of course not.
Are you hiring?
At work, there is this Canadian woman in her 30's, mother of 2. anytime we happen to be alone, like in an elevator, she will rub her boobs against me. I would just take a step back and ignore her. Does her husband know about this? Of course not. Am I the only one she is seeking out? Of course not.
Are you hiring?
Originally Posted By: Cujet
Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
the guy always gets the shaft in the end
And, that alone is reason enough to be very cautious about marriage. I have a great wife, of 25 years. So, it can happen. But, the numbers don't lie.
Roughly 50% of all first marriages end in divorce.
Roughly 50% of all intact marriages are unhappy.
Clearly, only 1/4, or 25% of married couples are happy. That's not great.
I have to wonder if some that unhappiness is caused by the stress of children.
Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
the guy always gets the shaft in the end
And, that alone is reason enough to be very cautious about marriage. I have a great wife, of 25 years. So, it can happen. But, the numbers don't lie.
Roughly 50% of all first marriages end in divorce.
Roughly 50% of all intact marriages are unhappy.
Clearly, only 1/4, or 25% of married couples are happy. That's not great.
I have to wonder if some that unhappiness is caused by the stress of children.
I'm 25 years old with no intention of getting married at this point. Lots of folks my age act like they want nothing more out of life than to find someone and settle down immediately like they are desperate...only to get divorced a couple of years down the road and be miserable. In my opinion way too many people simply settle out of fear of being alone. I made an oath to myself to not get caught up in that...I'm not looking to the future with the intention to marry but simply on the future and if I find a woman who is worth settling down with then that's when I will worry about it. Otherwise I'd rather be single than settle any day.
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Originally Posted By: GMFan
I'm 25 years old with no intention of getting married at this point. Lots of folks my age act like they want nothing more out of life than to find someone and settle down immediately like they are desperate...only to get divorced a couple of years down the road and be miserable. In my opinion way too many people simply settle out of fear of being alone. I made an oath to myself to not get caught up in that...I'm not looking to the future with the intention to marry but simply on the future and if I find a woman who is worth settling down with then that's when I will worry about it. Otherwise I'd rather be single than settle any day.
Good for you man. Simple, concise, and said with ample common sense.
I'm 25 years old with no intention of getting married at this point. Lots of folks my age act like they want nothing more out of life than to find someone and settle down immediately like they are desperate...only to get divorced a couple of years down the road and be miserable. In my opinion way too many people simply settle out of fear of being alone. I made an oath to myself to not get caught up in that...I'm not looking to the future with the intention to marry but simply on the future and if I find a woman who is worth settling down with then that's when I will worry about it. Otherwise I'd rather be single than settle any day.
Good for you man. Simple, concise, and said with ample common sense.
You guys might want to see a video titled:
"Feminism and The Disposable Male" on YouTube. It is by a user who calls herself Girlwriteswhat.
"Feminism and The Disposable Male" on YouTube. It is by a user who calls herself Girlwriteswhat.
On YouTube, user Girlwriteswhat did another video, called:
Men not marrying? How deep does "the problem" go?
Men not marrying? How deep does "the problem" go?
Her videos are not what I expected at all, makes me want to make my thoroughly emasculated friend with the psycho feminist wife watch it.
Propflux01
$100 Site Donor 2026
Seems funny to see this thread and right below it a thread on divorce!!!
Originally Posted By: Cristobal
You guys might want to see a video titled:
"Feminism and The Disposable Male" on YouTube. It is by a user who calls herself Girlwriteswhat.
I'm positive that there is nothing about marriage on YouTube that I want or need to view.
You guys might want to see a video titled:
"Feminism and The Disposable Male" on YouTube. It is by a user who calls herself Girlwriteswhat.
I'm positive that there is nothing about marriage on YouTube that I want or need to view.
Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
Originally Posted By: Cristobal
You guys might want to see a video titled:
"Feminism and The Disposable Male" on YouTube. It is by a user who calls herself Girlwriteswhat.
I'm positive that there is nothing about marriage on YouTube that I want or need to view.
Same thought came to my mind!
Originally Posted By: Cristobal
You guys might want to see a video titled:
"Feminism and The Disposable Male" on YouTube. It is by a user who calls herself Girlwriteswhat.
I'm positive that there is nothing about marriage on YouTube that I want or need to view.
Same thought came to my mind!
Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
There are some rules that need to be followed for two mature adults to have a successful marriage.
There must be a theological unity. You and your future spouse must be on the same theological page. It is a reference point for how you act, how you perceive yourself, how you perceive your spouse, and how you perceive marriage.
There has to be a moral unity. There are some people who are incapable of remaining committed, both emotionally and physically, to another person, and they will never succeed in marriage. Both have to work hard to fulfill each others needs.
There have to be unified life goals. Both have to know where they are going, and where the potential spouse is going in life. If one has spiritual values and the other temporal physical values the relationship will always be divided. If one wants to surround themselves with a lot of "things", and the other prefers a modest lifestyle, the relationship will be divided.
There has to be legitimate passion. Not only do you marry a best friend, but there must be an intimacy, a passion and an excitement for a marriage to succeed. Not just a physical intimacy, but a desire to be close to the other person. Holding hands, sharing long walks and long talks, and letting the other person know that they are the most important person in your life.
In case you were wondering, my wife and I will have been married 40 years this spring. She is my best friend, the love of my life, and the most important person in my life. We share absolutely everything and hold no secrets from each other. There's no one that I'd rather spend time with; we dance together, exercise together, care for each other and our lives are built around each other. I still work hard to meet her emotional needs and she works to fulfill mine. She's my soul mate, and I would never do anything to make her unhappy in any way. I've always been completely honest with her, and she's always been honest with me. When we do disagree on something we discusse the issue like adults; never have we yelled or become angry like little children.
I look forward to growing old with my wife, and having her by my side for the rest of my days. No matter how old we are, I'll always tell her that I love her, and she'll always be the only person with whom I'll share my life. I can't imagine anything less.
There will always be some people who are not mature enough for marriage, no matter what their age.
Wow, this was great to read.
I feel the same way towards my wife!
You've made excellent points that many don't consider enough. I think people have to take a step back and evaluate if the person meets those goals or not. It's easy to be blinded by love.
There are some rules that need to be followed for two mature adults to have a successful marriage.
There must be a theological unity. You and your future spouse must be on the same theological page. It is a reference point for how you act, how you perceive yourself, how you perceive your spouse, and how you perceive marriage.
There has to be a moral unity. There are some people who are incapable of remaining committed, both emotionally and physically, to another person, and they will never succeed in marriage. Both have to work hard to fulfill each others needs.
There have to be unified life goals. Both have to know where they are going, and where the potential spouse is going in life. If one has spiritual values and the other temporal physical values the relationship will always be divided. If one wants to surround themselves with a lot of "things", and the other prefers a modest lifestyle, the relationship will be divided.
There has to be legitimate passion. Not only do you marry a best friend, but there must be an intimacy, a passion and an excitement for a marriage to succeed. Not just a physical intimacy, but a desire to be close to the other person. Holding hands, sharing long walks and long talks, and letting the other person know that they are the most important person in your life.
In case you were wondering, my wife and I will have been married 40 years this spring. She is my best friend, the love of my life, and the most important person in my life. We share absolutely everything and hold no secrets from each other. There's no one that I'd rather spend time with; we dance together, exercise together, care for each other and our lives are built around each other. I still work hard to meet her emotional needs and she works to fulfill mine. She's my soul mate, and I would never do anything to make her unhappy in any way. I've always been completely honest with her, and she's always been honest with me. When we do disagree on something we discusse the issue like adults; never have we yelled or become angry like little children.
I look forward to growing old with my wife, and having her by my side for the rest of my days. No matter how old we are, I'll always tell her that I love her, and she'll always be the only person with whom I'll share my life. I can't imagine anything less.
There will always be some people who are not mature enough for marriage, no matter what their age.
Wow, this was great to read.
I feel the same way towards my wife!
You've made excellent points that many don't consider enough. I think people have to take a step back and evaluate if the person meets those goals or not. It's easy to be blinded by love.
In this particular case I am in total agreement with Pops, he said it all.
A real and trusting marriage is a beautiful thing.
A real and trusting marriage is a beautiful thing.
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^ That is the ultimate goal.
Wish that happened more.
Weird question:
So if I ever got attracted to a woman physically(not at a theological level) would it be ok to have sex with her if my theological wife agrees to that temporary pressure relief that I need?
Wish that happened more.
Weird question:
So if I ever got attracted to a woman physically(not at a theological level) would it be ok to have sex with her if my theological wife agrees to that temporary pressure relief that I need?
I think for the majority of men marriage is a poor choice. For you guys that have been married long term and make it work, my Mobil 1 hat is off to you. I'm 50 something and was married for 4 years years ago. It does get lonely at times, but being in a marriage gone wrong can be much worse. For the most of us , it is better to have a new pick up truck.
Long time ago.
We were friends with a family.
Were were friends with another family too.
The first family had a daughter.
The second family had a son.
As a result of us knowing both of them, and inviting them over, they became friends and decided to get married.
We were ecstatic. And why not? Both were our best friends.
Soon after they got married, they had a son.
Right after they had a son, the wife filed for divorce.
At a personal level, she confided that all she wants is her and her son in her life. Nobody else.
The girl and I had grown up together and never in a million years would I have imagined her thoughts to be like this.
Weird to say the least.
We were friends with a family.
Were were friends with another family too.
The first family had a daughter.
The second family had a son.
As a result of us knowing both of them, and inviting them over, they became friends and decided to get married.
We were ecstatic. And why not? Both were our best friends.
Soon after they got married, they had a son.
Right after they had a son, the wife filed for divorce.
At a personal level, she confided that all she wants is her and her son in her life. Nobody else.
The girl and I had grown up together and never in a million years would I have imagined her thoughts to be like this.
Weird to say the least.
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