Free Speech Should Maybe Not Be Free (Silly Rant)

Messages
6,773
Location
Fort Lauderdale, FL
No, I am not literally advocating an infringement of Free Speech. It's the very basis of our society. I simply feel like certain opinions need to come with a fee or a toll, based on frequency and pointlessness. My specific grind? Pressure to get married and have children. OK, I get it. People get married, and a lot of people are ridiculously happy about it. People have children, and a lot of people are ridiculously happy about it. Fine. But why do so many people have to comment or ask when it is going to happen for me or other people? The latest incident was when I was at a party. Adults and their children both. One father I know was watching his son dance to the music that was playing, absolutely beaming. His smile went so far up his face that I could hardly tell if his eyes were open. Good for him. Happy for their family. But then it happened. He goes, "Man, I tell you! Kids are the greatest! I love my son! When are you going to start making some of your own?". I replied to him, "All in good time. There is a time for everything.". To this, he replied, "But you're wasting your life! Sportscars, boats, bikes, vacations! None of this matters. Family matters. Kids matter!". ontome I nearly threw up in my own drink. Not that I was disgusted by the thought of children and family. I was getting sick of hearing the same old song about children and family. I'm not terribly young. I'm sort of aware of the fact that men and women get married and have children. This "news" never comes as a mind blowing shock that this goes on. Yet I always seem to get about a thousand reminders a year. Strangers, acquaintances, colleagues, associates, anybody. I'm waiting for stray dogs to start drawing baby pictures in the sand. Let's not even get into the people who feel that it's nearly offensive that I'm in my early 30's and still living life however I want, rather than raising a family. So I feel that it would be great if people had to pay to give this advice. Say, $125 to recommend marriage or children to someone who never asked for the advice. I'm not talking about seriously implementing this, so I have no idea how the logistics would work out. Just some kind of automated thing. Recommend marriage or children, and $125 goes automatically from the "adviser" to the person to whom they are giving their recommendation. I think this would be both a good way to curb the frequency and recklessness of this advice, as well as force the one giving the advice to contribute to the cause. I mean, if you hate the idea of starving homeless animals, you give to the ASPCA. If you want food and shelter for the starving kids in Africa, you give to UNICEF. Feel bad about third world kids with cleft palates? Give to Smile Train. Feel bad someone isn't married and doesn't have kids? Give $125 to the cause. That's only 34 cents a day, if one checks in on the situation once a year. It's how we handle our roads. Want a cool highway? Pay taxes, tolls, and tickets. Want somebody to have kids? Same thing. Or just leave them alone. But again, just a throwaway rant. No need to tear up the First Amendment to reduce mild annoyance. I can just be a grown-up and ignore it.
 
Messages
946
Location
Alberta
You are helping control the earth's population. Thank you for your service. I would much rather have someone who decides not to have kids, than those that have kids and don't take care of, or raise them. Being ABLE to procreate doesn't mean you Must procreate. We have two boys.. We have friends who don't have kids. We get along fine.
 
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Messages
5,761
Location
New England
Just do your own thing and don't worry about jacks like that getting in your face. I wasn't at all sure about being a dad for a long time and it has worked out great for me (just one kid, though), but it's not for other people to rub stuff in your face like that. Parenthood can be incredibly rewarding, but there are a lot of compromises to be made and sometimes things go horribly wrong. Think of people who can't steer their kids away from being junkies or those like my parents who lost a very young child (before me). I think that people who aren't willing to go all in on raising their kids and have them anyway can cause a lot of misery, too...it's dumb to just say everybody should have kids even if they may not be interested or up for the commitment. Honestly, I get the same thing from smarmy people asking why we only had one kid, like we thought we made a mistake and didn't want to repeat it. I just tell them we had the perfect kid on the first try and there was no need to try again! Hey, that kid the dad was so proud of probably barfed in the guy's car on the way home if he was little or got busted for possession later that night if he was a teen. You don't have to deal with that stuff, right??
 
Messages
5,334
Location
Atlanta,GA
Originally Posted by DoubleWasp
No, I am not literally advocating an infringement of Free Speech. It's the very basis of our society. I simply feel like certain opinions need to come with a fee or a toll, based on frequency and pointlessness. My specific grind? Pressure to get married and have children. OK, I get it. People get married, and a lot of people are ridiculously happy about it. People have children, and a lot of people are ridiculously happy about it. Fine. But why do so many people have to comment or ask when it is going to happen for me or other people? The latest incident was when I was at a party. Adults and their children both. One father I know was watching his son dance to the music that was playing, absolutely beaming. His smile went so far up his face that I could hardly tell if his eyes were open. Good for him. Happy for their family. But then it happened. He goes, "Man, I tell you! Kids are the greatest! I love my son! When are you going to start making some of your own?". I replied to him, "All in good time. There is a time for everything.". To this, he replied, "But you're wasting your life! Sportscars, boats, bikes, vacations! None of this matters. Family matters. Kids matter!". ontome I nearly threw up in my own drink. Not that I was disgusted by the thought of children and family. I was getting sick of hearing the same old song about children and family. I'm not terribly young. I'm sort of aware of the fact that men and women get married and have children. This "news" never comes as a mind blowing shock that this goes on. Yet I always seem to get about a thousand reminders a year. Strangers, acquaintances, colleagues, associates, anybody. I'm waiting for stray dogs to start drawing baby pictures in the sand. Let's not even get into the people who feel that it's nearly offensive that I'm in my early 30's and still living life however I want, rather than raising a family. So I feel that it would be great if people had to pay to give this advice. Say, $125 to recommend marriage or children to someone who never asked for the advice. I'm not talking about seriously implementing this, so I have no idea how the logistics would work out. Just some kind of automated thing. Recommend marriage or children, and $125 goes automatically from the "adviser" to the person to whom they are giving their recommendation. I think this would be both a good way to curb the frequency and recklessness of this advice, as well as force the one giving the advice to contribute to the cause. I mean, if you hate the idea of starving homeless animals, you give to the ASPCA. If you want food and shelter for the starving kids in Africa, you give to UNICEF. Feel bad about third world kids with cleft palates? Give to Smile Train. Feel bad someone isn't married and doesn't have kids? Give $125 to the cause. That's only 34 cents a day, if one checks in on the situation once a year. It's how we handle our roads. Want a cool highway? Pay taxes, tolls, and tickets. Want somebody to have kids? Same thing. Or just leave them alone. But again, just a throwaway rant. No need to tear up the First Amendment to reduce mild annoyance. I can just be a grown-up and ignore it.
I used to tell the, "Ya maybe, but what am I going to do when I see it'll cost $400k to raise/school a child", or "Ya, It's the $50k/yr college tuition that I worry about." Funny thing is that my male friends who have kids and gave me a hard time 16 yrs ago have told me in private that they see what I was getting at back then.
 
Messages
3,649
Location
St. Charles County, Missouri
My thoughts exactly. Kids are there to give you grand kids. Grand kids are great because you can put them away after you're done playing with them. This advice does not apply if your kids are in prison and you have to put up with the grand kids 24/7.
 
Messages
5,761
Location
New England
Originally Posted by csandste
My thoughts exactly. Kids are there to give you grand kids. Grand kids are great because you can put them away after you're done playing with them. This advice does not apply if your kids are in prison and you have to put up with the grand kids 24/7.
I have some extended family members who are getting close to this stage...
 

CT8

Messages
15,397
Location
Idaho
Originally Posted by tcp71
You are helping control the earth's population. Thank you for your service. I would much rather have someone who decides not to have kids, than those that have kids and don't take care of, or raise them. Being ABLE to procreate doesn't mean you Must procreate. We have two boys.. We have friends who don't have kids. We get along fine.
It is not the people that should not be breeding.
 
Messages
10,466
Location
Jupiter, Florida
I wish I had children. When I turned 50, I suddenly realized that I missed out on the best part of life. All the airplanes, cars, trucks, motorcycles, seadoo's and so on don't make up for what I missed out on. Furthermore, I simply became a tool for my boss to use, as I was available 24/7.
 
Messages
11,562
Location
Illinois
Maybe you just ask them if the person they just described sounds like the kind of person who should be responsible for children. Or offer to take theirs for a weekend of fun to see if you are cut out for it. You certainly can't harm their kids too much over a single weekend. They'll probably shut up. Some might jump at the chance. Maybe take them along with you to see if you are really cut out for it. If you want to of course. You probably get the idea. Use it or not, it's your right smile
 
Messages
11,562
Location
Illinois
I can also share this. Having had waited until I was 31 when I got married the first time, you have to be even more picky. I know that doesn't sound right, but it is. I was pretty set in my ways in my 4th decade of life. I needed a stronger, more self-aware and self-confident woman than the one I married as my first wife. She was five years younger than me, but had never left home. Me, I'd finished two college degrees, done four years active duty Army and another four reserve status. Since I was born to a single mom, I could cook, do my own laundry, etc when I went off to college 14 years before I ever got married. You can begin to see the picture and the contrast. So my unsolicited advice, which comes with the same proviso, use it or not, is be very careful as you are probably well established at this point and it will take a very special and strong woman to be your partner.
 
Messages
2,302
Location
Juno Beach FL
Originally Posted by 02SE
I can be pretty blunt. I'd tell him he has his opinion, and I have mine, and he needs to mind his own business.
This is the only solution. If not blunt, folks will continue to try and tell folks how to live their life.
 
Messages
5,761
Location
New England
Originally Posted by AZjeff
The best answer to that question is "9 months from tonight." You get interesting reactions as people process that.
Maybe the OPer could have told the super proud dad that it was pretty likely the kid he was so proud of was actually fathered by the OPer?? ;^) Have to know somebody pretty well to try that...
 
Messages
24,388
Location
Central Florida
I was at a retirement party for a coworker and one 60 year old woman kept asking a guy around 35 why wasn't he married... Her husband was very embarrassed.... but the woman kept on being nosey asking AGAIN AND AGAIN why the guy wasn't married. At 35 there should be no rush to get married if a GF will suffice.
 
Messages
915
Location
Charlestown Indiana
My wife and I were hanging out at our neighborhood pool one Sunday afternoon. We're were hanging out with several neighbors we're friendly with and having a few beers. We were introduced to another couple and they kind of "joined the party". My wife was talking with wife of the new couple. The woman asked my wife how many kids we have and my wife told her had no children. The wife said "I'm so sorry, it's sad that you guys can't have kids". My wife told her that it was our choice not to have kids and the woman said "what's wrong with you?" and walked away and didn't speak to my wife for the rest of the day. That [censored] is lucky that my wife didn't tell me about it until we got home
 
Messages
1,718
Location
SW Ontario Canada
I fully support your right to do as you please. What I could recommend you do, however, is in case you decide later to have kids...a lot later...get some of your sperm frozen now in case when you want to have kids, your fertility count is lower or of lower quality. There are some old dads... 50+ that have made kids that...how should I say....were not from the best seed harvest? I'm putting on my flame suit now. Zip!!
 
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