Hi guys. Thought I’d pick some brains here and get some ideas.
father in law passed away 2 years ago. Last year mom indicated things were “a bit tight” and offered to sell us 1/2 of the family cabin. She’d get a bit of money and it’s time for cabin succession to happen. The other half would be gifted upon death to my brother in law.
i,had a problem with this as I didn’t want to own a huge asset with someone who didn’t have to earn it. And besides why do we have to pay, and BIL get for free?
we offered to pay and buy 100% of the cabin. This didn’t go over well with BIL. He feels entitled to the cabin, and offered no money. Mom decided,to sell us 90% of the cabin and BIL would get 10%. We said no.
to complicate things BIL is 40, lives at home, works half the year, nd collects unemployment benefits the,other half. He never has any money (he can afford beer, pot, cigarettes ) and is lazy.
he is always at the cabin, and simply shows up to drink beer, smoke pot, occasionally snort cocaine, sleep, and fish.
he will do work when it benefits him directly (cuts wood on an as needed basis, puts the dock in/out) and it’s like pulling teeth to,get him,to,do anything. It’s more work supervising Him, and faster to just work myself.
honestly the cabin means nothing to me but my,wife grew up there. I’d prefer to,rent or buy our own cabin.
it’s caused stress in my,family. I,want to buy this place but BIL is less than an ideal co owner. Mom knows this but she’s unduly,influenced by him.
we haven’t gone out in,2 years and mom misses us (also misses our work and financial contributions).
some options are:
walk Away. Mom can deal with ber bed she made.
offer to.purchase,but more “fair”??
for simplicity let’s say cabin is,200k. Was thinking of offering mom 100k for 1/2, nd wife ND BIL would get the other half for,free. This,way I’m paying for my share (as I was raised to,do so) and wife,gets the,same,free cabin as her brother. Mom gets the same amount of money.
problem is how do,I get BIL off his ass? I’m ok with him not paying his 25% of,the,costs. In fact I’ll fund the whole thing and I’d be happy with him just,doing some work in lieu of cash.
not sure how to.approach this?
bil has been enabled his whole,life. Mom is,not,only,enabling him but has now become co dependent on him (needs a man,to,take care of since hubby passed)
Trying to ,save the family cabin and be fair about it, and get the BIL to “man up”.
thoughts?
father in law passed away 2 years ago. Last year mom indicated things were “a bit tight” and offered to sell us 1/2 of the family cabin. She’d get a bit of money and it’s time for cabin succession to happen. The other half would be gifted upon death to my brother in law.
i,had a problem with this as I didn’t want to own a huge asset with someone who didn’t have to earn it. And besides why do we have to pay, and BIL get for free?
we offered to pay and buy 100% of the cabin. This didn’t go over well with BIL. He feels entitled to the cabin, and offered no money. Mom decided,to sell us 90% of the cabin and BIL would get 10%. We said no.
to complicate things BIL is 40, lives at home, works half the year, nd collects unemployment benefits the,other half. He never has any money (he can afford beer, pot, cigarettes ) and is lazy.
he is always at the cabin, and simply shows up to drink beer, smoke pot, occasionally snort cocaine, sleep, and fish.
he will do work when it benefits him directly (cuts wood on an as needed basis, puts the dock in/out) and it’s like pulling teeth to,get him,to,do anything. It’s more work supervising Him, and faster to just work myself.
honestly the cabin means nothing to me but my,wife grew up there. I’d prefer to,rent or buy our own cabin.
it’s caused stress in my,family. I,want to buy this place but BIL is less than an ideal co owner. Mom knows this but she’s unduly,influenced by him.
we haven’t gone out in,2 years and mom misses us (also misses our work and financial contributions).
some options are:
walk Away. Mom can deal with ber bed she made.
offer to.purchase,but more “fair”??
for simplicity let’s say cabin is,200k. Was thinking of offering mom 100k for 1/2, nd wife ND BIL would get the other half for,free. This,way I’m paying for my share (as I was raised to,do so) and wife,gets the,same,free cabin as her brother. Mom gets the same amount of money.
problem is how do,I get BIL off his ass? I’m ok with him not paying his 25% of,the,costs. In fact I’ll fund the whole thing and I’d be happy with him just,doing some work in lieu of cash.
not sure how to.approach this?
bil has been enabled his whole,life. Mom is,not,only,enabling him but has now become co dependent on him (needs a man,to,take care of since hubby passed)
Trying to ,save the family cabin and be fair about it, and get the BIL to “man up”.
thoughts?