Family cottage/cabin advise, and thoughts

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nan_wpg

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Run Forrest, run!

Your less than 100% or more than 0% financial/ownership in this cabin is a surefire recipe for a lot of intractable unhappiness in the future. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do the unpopular thing because it's the right thing. You seem to be working your way into rationalizing this by distracting yourself with details as opposed to focusing on "the big picture" wherein lies the simple answer to the question you posed


. Are you inclined to be a human doormat?

Apologize for the frankness, but this is really a "no-brainer", as you are hearing repeatedly in the responses to your thread.


appreciate the frankness. It’s,too,bad. This cabin is a really nice place. Lots of history. Sad to see it go. Also trying to manage family dynamics. It’s a very dysfunctional family.

and cabin aside even though Bil is a dipshit I want to see him clean up/manup and succeed. I’m human.

just trying to put on a liberal ‘ kuum- by- ya hat here.

also in the back of my mind is I can rent a cabin for 1200 a week, power,ac, drive up, no work, nothing. Just enjoy.

cost of buying 50% of cabin,plus cabin costs = 3-4 weeks of rental for the rest of my life.

wish wife would just let the place go. It’s a building on the water. Who cares? Buy another place.
 

nan_wpg

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No good can come from this. Run away and don't look back.

Don't forget about property taxes, liability insurance, etc.
It’s leased land. No taxes. BUT just owning the place (land fee, road fee, insurance ) is 3k a year. 3k without even using the place, AND taking into consideration maintenance and repair/replacement.
 
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Sounds like a Judge Judy/ Seinfeld episode conglomeration that went horribly wrong.

The only logical thing to do is pass.
 

JTK

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I know some people in about the same situation with siblings sharing ownership of a cottage/cabin. It never goes well.

Parents, especially mom's want to try to keep the peace at all costs, which is why I think they try to split things up evenly like this.
 

nan_wpg

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Sounds like a Judge Judy/ Seinfeld episode conglomeration that went horribly wrong.

The only logical thing to do is pass.
Right? You literally can’t make this up.

usually “normal “ people inherit a cabin. Say brother and sister. Brother is local. Sis lives hours away. hes there all the time (enjoying but also working) and she comes out once a year for a week (she doesn’t do any work cause ya know “holidays”

she grumbles about paying half the cost because bro is out all the time (forgetting she can enjoy the cabin BECAUSE he’s out all the time. ) and therefore should pay most of the costs.

of course if they sell she wants half, lol.

cabins are hell
 
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nan_wpg

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Come again? What happens at the end of the lease? You just walk away and the land owner takes it over after you put so much work into it? What happens if it burns down and there is no insurance?
It’s a lease in a provincial park, owned by the government. Leases are 21 years, and you apply to renew. To my knowledge no one has ever had a lease pulled on them so long as the property is maintained.
 

nan_wpg

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I know some people in about the same situation with siblings sharing ownership of a cottage/cabin. It never goes well.

Parents, especially mom's want to try to keep the peace at all costs, which is why I think they try to split things up evenly like this.
Her initial offer was far from even. We buy 50% of the cabin. Mom keeps half, and Jeff uses the cabin for free until she dies, then he gets the other half. Lol. Tempting as that is, we declined and countered with a 100% purchase offer. She decloned
 
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Her initial offer was far from even. We buy 50% of the cabin. Mom keeps half, and Jeff uses the cabin for free until she dies, then he gets the other half. Lol. Tempting as that is, we declined and countered with a 100% purchase offer. She decloned
What's the exit strategy? If you can't figure that out, it's a real problem. What happens if one party wants to sell and the other doesn't?
 

nan_wpg

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What's the exit strategy? If you can't figure that out, it's a real problem. What happens if one party wants to sell and the other doesn't?
Actually I need 2 strategy. 1 to exit the co ownership, and one to exit the cabin completely without world war 2.

no one actually wants to sell. Goal is to use cabin forever.

we] would need a legal agreement. Mom would be spooked because “everything will just work out”


happens all the time. Parents leave cabin to siblings and they will all “do the right thing” and get along.
never happens. Always issues. We are just having them before we even “get” the cabin.

making it more insane is that we can’t even BUY The place without hassle. Never mind inherit,the,place.
 
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I think I would go with "do nothing" on the ownership front, let it be inherited when the time comes. I'd still use it and help out a bit, in the meantime though. Keep it watertight atleast. If your area follows the Ontario price increases the $200k cottage might go to $400k in a couple years and your BIL will want to sell, and your family gets enough to rent one for a month a summer for as long as you want?
I wouldn't burn any bridges anyways, keep it a family asset.
My inlaws family had joint ownership of a family cottage but didn't like each other and sold it for like $90k 25 years ago. Now a cottage on that lake is 800k+... and an affordable cottage is 7 hours away, so a family cottage is no longer a practical option.
 

nan_wpg

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I think I would go with "do nothing" on the ownership front, let it be inherited when the time comes. I'd still use it and help out a bit, in the meantime though. Keep it watertight atleast. If your area follows the Ontario price increases the $200k cottage might go to $400k in a couple years and your BIL will want to sell, and your family gets enough to rent one for a month a summer for as long as you want?
I wouldn't burn any bridges anyways, keep it a family asset.
My inlaws family had joint ownership of a family cottage but didn't like each other and sold it for like $90k 25 years ago. Now a cottage on that lake is 800k+... and an affordable cottage is 7 hours away, so a family cottage is no longer a practical option.
I’m not interested in “helping out”. I can’t. Not if bil is drinking beer on the dock.
also keep in mind recent cabin price increases are a black swan. Pandemics are 100 year events. Cabin prices will soften and I actually predict they will drop as the aging boomers finally kick offf and die.

everypne likes to use the cabin when mom and dad are paying. Once dead, this current generation want nothing to do with the cabin and will sell thus lowering prices.
they’d rather smoke pot and play video games thanks to Justine and her policies.
 
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Buy all of it from her if interested or walk away. She can “will” the proceeds to him and or your wife if she pleases .
If only it were that simple. The druggy BIL will just show up as he pleases whenever he pleases.

One may suggest call the cops, but ya know, it’s the wife’s brother.
 

nan_wpg

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If only it were that simple. The druggy BIL will just show up as he pleases whenever he pleases.

One may suggest call the cops, but ya know, it’s the wife’s brother.
That’s the other concern. We buy the place. He can still come out so long as he contributes something. Anything.
he shows up, does nothing. Then what? Kick him out? He still shows up. We change the locks. He breaks in. Now what?

will wife call the cops? Then what? What if he breaks in and burns the place down? Poops on the floor? Shoots himself in the head in the cabin? Then what?

after we kick him out, we roast marshmallows over a camp fire. A twig snaps. Is it Bambi? Or is it him?

why bother? Lol
 
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Bil is very much entitled. He doesn’t “get it”. It’s been 2 years since mom told him, she can’t afford the house and cabin. He has,saved no money. None. He’s at the cabin all the time. As stated I’d be ok if he paid nothing if I could show up and enjoy a painted/fixed/all work done cabin.

contributions can be “in kind”.

just tying to come up with a win win and do so respectfully.
There is no win win.

Your mom and brother can't afford it, you can't buy it outright because BIL will always try to haunt you. Just walk away let your mom do the reverse mortgage till she died and let it get foreclosed.
 
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I’m not interested in “helping out”. I can’t. Not if bil is drinking beer on the dock.
also keep in mind recent cabin price increases are a black swan. Pandemics are 100 year events. Cabin prices will soften and I actually predict they will drop as the aging boomers finally kick offf and die.

everypne likes to use the cabin when mom and dad are paying. Once dead, this current generation want nothing to do with the cabin and will sell thus lowering prices.
they’d rather smoke pot and play video games thanks to Justine and her policies.
Oh, I see you are one of those "freedom" whiners.... GL
 
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Oh you're at the crossroads of hell and rough seas pal. You won't get anyone off their @ss and you definitely don't want to be co-owner with some freeloading crackheaded loser who will most surely be involved with the authorities sooner or later, and with you on the title of his sleaze pad. Get whatever you can out of this enabling mother for your share and disown the loser sibling and his pot infested roach motel.

There, I knew I could water that down from how bad it really is if I tried. 😁
 
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100% or walk away. Learning that its on leased land makes it even more of a walkaway. No way would i buy something on leased land. You would pay 100k to have 100% ownership of something you can't own???? No way.
 
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