I feel your pain. I'm still having a hard time losing my little guy. (It will be 2 years this coming February). Time is always the best healer. But even with it, memories can't be erased.
Apart from the obvious, the apparent reason why we are so sad when we lose a pet is because in general we see them all of the time. In many cases more than our partners.I really struggle to write this, but felt the need to turn to y'all for some support. Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life, we lost our big boy Simon. Simon came to us through a rescue organization a little over 7 years ago, and had a pretty sad life before being turned over to the rescue at about 10 months old. The lady that owned Simon and his sister worked a lot and kept both in their crates for long hours. It was obvious that they weren't exercised or even let out much, as Simon had atrophied/underdeveloped muscles in his legs and couldn't even climb stairs in our house. We worked with him and he thrived, developing quickly into about 80lbs. of muscle and personality. He slowly came out of his shell and became close, trusting both my wife and me, but especially our son. He turned into a loving big lug, but took his time getting to know and trust others. He loved to eat and sleep, mostly on "his" couch, but also our bed. He snored, but was a good bed partner. We had Cruiser, our Lab/Shepard mix, at the time and they became good buds. But it wasn't until we got Luna, our Louisiana Catahoula Leopard mix, that he really became close to another fury friend. They were inseparable. They would play fight, "share" toys (actually tease each other with), and love to lay in the sun together outside. At night, they would curl up together on the bed and sleep tight. They rode on our golf cart together too, loving to see the sights and having the breeze blow their ears about.
Yesterday, I took them out for our usual ride and when we got back, they jumped down and moseyed around the yard. Then I saw Simon seem to struglle to move, his legs buckling under him. He made his way inside and immediately went to a cool spot in the dining room and lay down. He was breathing rapidly and panting. This was odd as he didn't seem to exert himself. He eventually got up and downed an entire bowl of water, then laid back down near his couch. About 20 minutes later, he got up again and moved toward the back door, then threw up. A lot. I let him outside and he moved slowly out into the yard. He peed and pooped, then wanted back in. He responded to his name well and wagged his tail, but went back to laying down and breathing rapidly. He eventually moved upstairs, struggling a bit, but under his own power and then was able to jump onto our bed. He still panted and breathed rapidly, but his eyes were bright and still wagged his tail. He didn't seem to be in any obvious distress.
My wife got home and I told her what was going on with him and we went upstairs to check on him. He wouldn't get up, but still wagged his tail when we said his name and pet him. Still rapidly breathing, we both decided to get him to the emergency vet. NOW. Loaded him and Luna (she freaks when we take him somewhere without her) into the car and off to the vet we all went. Wife sat in the back with him and said he seemed to be going downhill as we made our way there. He didn't want to get up, but once there, I helped him out of the car. He struggled to make it the twenty five feet or so to the door of the vet. I almost had to carry him. Once inside, the emergency staff was on him right away. The doctor made an initial diagnosis that he may be in distress from something heart related due to definitive arrhythmia, the rapid breathing, and what she felt to be fluid in his abdomen. They immediately started an IV, drew blood, and did an ultrasound. This confirmed a large amount of fluid in his abdomen and in the sac around his heart. They gave him a sedative for the pain and the doctor drew fluid from his abdomen. She determined it to be effluent and not blood or urine based on the appearance. But before they could do anything else, he quietly passed away. We were right next to him and didn't even realize it until she turned to us and said he was gone. My knees buckled and I burst into tears, sobbing like a baby. I couldn't believe he was gone.
The staff brought over a blanket and placed it over Simon. Then they brought him into a private family room where we could say our goodbyes. I lifted Luna onto the table where she could get close to her friend and say her goodbyes too. They gave us all the time we wanted and helped with his arrangements. We then left with this huge hole in our hearts. The only solace I have right now, is that he had a very charmed life. Much better than what he faced at the beginning of his life. He was loved immensely and it showed with how happy he always seemed. I know time will make the pain subside, and will remember his life through all of the good memories we have, but I will still always miss him.
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Luna will miss her golf cart buddy too.