In-Laws and poor financial choices - rant

[JTK]

There is much here, but the first big thing that we learned is that they were paying $400+ for what amounted to Internet, cable TV, and a VoIP phone service. And they don't really watch anything great -

I feel ya. It sounds very much like my in-laws and my wife and I just let them do their thing. They're in their early 80s, living on SS and the little bit if IRA my FIL has. They pay for the full blown TV, home phone and internet bundle. Pay full rate for SiriusXM and who knows what other subscription services. Grocery shop 2x a week filling two refrigerators, one large freezer, pantry, etc. Neither are in good health and my FIL is to the point he shouldn't be driving. They pay insurance on 2 vehicles they barely use. My wife being their eldest and closest in proximity is their primary care giver and spends many days or weeks making sure they're sorted. It's the circle of life I keep telling myself. LOL

 

[JayhawkRoy]

Well TBF depending on the situation it would be downright irresponsible for an elderly parent (s) to blow their retirement under the expectation that their kids will pick up the slack when the money runs out.

unfortunately my mil successfully blew thru all her money and was on welfare when she died in a state paid for nursing home........

 

[robbobster]

The entire side of my wife’s family is financially ignorant…I think I’d add “willfully” into that statement as well.

It would be one thing if they asked for advice…they don’t.

It’s not my job to solve their problems.

 

[JayhawkRoy]

Hate to say it but the reason they won't listen to you is because you are not their son. Just their daughter's husband that is why the BIL has success where you don't.

Also I would let it go...you ain't changing them but you'll die trying.

my mil would occasionally listen to me,but not listen to her sons or my wife, who are equally successful and smart as me. then the times she listened to no one

 

[TomYoung]

unfortunately my mil successfully blew thru all her money and was on welfare when she died in a state paid for nursing home........

Well played.

 

[xspeedy]

Hate to say it but the reason they won't listen to you is because you are not their son. Just their daughter's husband that is why the BIL has success where you don't.

Also I would let it go...you ain't changing them but you'll die trying.

I don’t. My wife (their daughter) tells them, but for some reason they are more likely to listen to her younger brother. But only selectively in this case. They bought the new car, but didn’t eliminate both existing which kind of killed any logic for this transaction. And all the dealer profit add ons were probably chosen without any consultation.

 

[Dave Hess]

Some adult children don’t want parents spending all their inheritance money.

I can understand the kids point of view.


Kids: Dad why did you buy that new AMG Benz when a used Corolla is all you really need ?

Father: You Only Live Once and I need to enjoy my money before I’m gone….

 

[xspeedy]

The entire side of my wife’s family is financially ignorant…I think I’d add “willfully” into that statement as well.

It would be one thing if they asked for advice…they don’t.

It’s not my job to solve their problems.

Yeah, that is the biggest thing. It is like they get pleasure from doing stupid things with money. They have always had a shopping and hoarding problem. In fact, the house they built a few years ago has a four car garage. Two spots are just to store stuff they bought eons ago. I fear having to deal with all the crap they leave behind. All kinds of collectible crap that no one our age has any interest in. Swarovskis, Hummels, Yadros…. My parents were thankfully minimalists. When they went, it was fairly easy. And as you say, my in-laws could have asked us for advice on some of this, but I guess they find car salesman more trustworthy. If they were offered rustproofing at $5K, they would have bought it. In Texas.

 

[ATex7239]

My in laws are awful with money. I don’t really care or get annoyed by it. But to be honest the dumpster fire is hard to not notice. Also people who tend to be bad with money also tend to complain about their money problems to others. So there is that aspect. People might say mind your business, but also sometimes, people tell you their business.

 

[02SE]

Well, look at it this way: In 100 years, it won't matter.

 

[AutoMechanic]

My parents are the same way. They pay $300 for just cable alone because they have the top tier package with HBO and all of that added on there plus the box and remote charge. I’ve mentioned to them about streaming and now they are considering because everything has went up so much that they are going to have to make some changes. My dad was actually talking today about calling Cox tomorrow to tell them either lower the price or cancel it. Our internet and home phone is about $75 or so. But I can’t tell them how to spend their money but I’ve tried to help because they have been getting behind and I don’t want to see them in that spot. I personally think it’s insane that anyone would pay that much for cable. Most people I know haven’t had cable in years. When I priced it out for my room back in 2023 they wanted $180 on top my parents bill for the sports package plus the box and remote fee I’m like no way that I’m paying that much and talked to my friends and found out about streaming and antennas.

That new car thing runs on my mom’s side of the family and she starts going on rants about needing a new car every couple of years and it’s just non stop. She got very mad when I got a car that was newer than hers and she was jealous because she can’t afford a new car.