Cutting ties with my best friend tomorrow.

Joined
Jun 12, 2020
Messages
1,470
Location
SW Missouri
I generally wouldn’t post something like this but wanted to clear my head.

Got a former friend that has really been my only friend I’ve had in my short 27 years. Same interests as me and we’ve worked together on several big projects (think heavy truck stuff). I used his shop when I needed it and provided my wrecker when it was needed and would come in when I wasn’t busy with 3 other jobs and help keep them caught up. That usually resulted in 18-20 hour days between them and everything else I am doing. Everything was great until his new wife from California came along. Told over Facebook messenger today by her that all I am is a user and never help him when he helps me. I don’t do well at diffusing situations so naturally I made it worse but I was 100% professional. Kill them with the facts type of situation. I expect to have to do it all over again tomorrow in person.

I’ve worked with this family for almost 15 years back into JR High School. Turning my keys in tomorrow after I pick up the remainder of my tools.

For what it’s worth they both have the alcohol monkey on their backs that neither want to try to shake. I have even picked him up from an arrest resulting from a DWI crash where he really messed some people up.
 
Maybe their relationship will implode, sounds like a possibility. If that happens he may come crawling back and ask for forgiveness. Not that we should wish bad things on others but it is what it is. Sounds like he might be a little pussy whipped with this one. Good luck to you and keep on truckin'. Cheers
 
Sadly it happens, and I really hate to mention it, but over the last 10 years, there is a lot of discord created over politics. It's not make believe. What made me pause was to think it never happened before, just starting around 2017. Covid was a another reason. If we were to get to brass tacks, I'd use this phrase again: "There's no need for you to be worrying, about all those people."

Sounds cliche but when I left home at age 18, my dad's advice was the same as my grandfather to him, when he was 16: "To thine self be true."

Maybe things will change for the better, but be yourself and do what you think is right. Good luck.
 
It sounds to me like now is the time that HE needs a good friend. Stop with the business dealings because business is business and should never involve friendships.

If the man's wife destroyed his phone or is trying to dictate his life then that relationship is doomed already. He's going to need someone to talk to and a good friend to lean on. Some frown on this advice but... don't leave your buddy because of a woman. Maybe you should stand in the shadows for a while but don't leave the guy to cry alone, especially if he already has alcohol issues.
 
Don't look back. Had a similar situation many years ago. Not drink related. His new wife just had an attitude I could not be around.
We were in school together all thru end of high school. I bowed out over the wife. After over a good 12 years we bumped into each
other and low and behold he is now single. They busted up. Him and I became fast friends again just like those 12 years never happened.
We now see each other and talk at least once a week. We are like brothers again and we do not even feel the need to discuss what happend.
Don't look back. They will either make it some how or end up destroying each other. I know a guy with a new wife just like this one. You can
not see him or even talk on the phone with him as she is even hanging over him and would actually jump into the conversation. Well, I no
longer call or see him now. Possesive woman who wont let him out of her sight. Not worth it.
 
Ain't got time for that kind of drama in my life. As corny as it sounds my wife is my best friend. Then I have 2 or 3 "buddies" in town. We may get together a few times per year, text during a playoff game, and we will always gravitate towards each other in social settings.

None of my buddies put any kind of pressure on me or expectations into the relationship above what I stated above. No wife drama when we do hang out. We can not talk or text or see each other for a year and it's all good, we pick up where we left off. If one of us needs help with something we're there to help but there is also no pressure for constant contact.

My wife has a very tight group of 5 friends in town. They go to trivia every week and someone is always at the house. She recently asked me if I was ok without having a male "best friend". I reassured her that I'm fine and really don't feel the need for someone like that in my life. My last "best friend" committed suicide in 2012. Maybe I'm a little damaged from that experience but I think best friends are overrated so long as you have people you can talk to in life. For me, that's my wife, business partners, and my buddies but I like these relationships lowkey.
 
My best friend from high school to age 35 had many emotional issues, and drank a cyanide cocktail.

Another best friend followed that. When I first met him, he needed serious business help and I guided him out of it. He was so grateful, he did me ten times as many favors in return. Died of a massive heart attack at age 58.

Now, my remaining best friend, is someone who I have mentored for 20 years, and has become a total success in his professional career and family. And he credits me for my guidance. I hope he lives a long, happy life, and survives me. (He is 20 years younger than me)
 
Yearly I re-evaluate my friendships and dump the ones that are not "growing".

You can't be the victim here, strike first. If you are the only one initiating contact, then cut them off. Friendship goes both ways, tit for tat. Especially for married men, you need friendships that don't envolve your spouse.
 
Yearly I re-evaluate my friendships and dump the ones that are not "growing".

You can't be the victim here, strike first. If you are the only one initiating contact, then cut them off. Friendship goes both ways, tit for tat. Especially for married men, you need friendships that don't envolve your spouse.
You and I officially can't be friends...lol. You just said the exact opposite of what I said above. I guess it's good there are lots of people in the world!
 
Back
Top