Amanda Todd - 15 year old commits suicide

[Drew99GT]

After reading a bit about Amanda Todd, I honestly don't really feel much sympathy for her. First of all, she made some very very bad choices. Did she deserve the outcome of those bad choices? Of course not. Should she have been bullied/ Of course not. Should she have shown her breasts on a webcam? Should she have had sex with a boy who already had a girlfriend, let alone when she was 13 years old? Should she have done so many sexually provocative things with people who are obviously bullies? She got herself in hot water and couldn't get out. Yes, she was a child, but I knew plenty of people who acted like she did when I was in grade school and they had bad outcomes. You want to be popular, especially sexually, in junior high school? Better deal with some serious consequences if you don't have the maturity and the social skills.

I feel sorry for people who don't make bad choices and who do not instigate things but who are bullied simply for who they are. aka, for no reason other then satisfaction of the bully. I was bullied a lot in school simply because I'm, well, a dork. Actually, come to find out, I'm high functioning autistic. Wasn't diagnosed until I was 30 years old. I didn't choose that but suffered a lot because of it.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121014191827AAXWG59

 

[PandaBear]

Originally Posted By: chiks
1. Why was she targeted?


Bullies tend to pick on people who don't fight for themselves, and those with not popular personalities.

The point is, bullies happened, as part of human nature, and to prevent things going too far there are certain rules in schools, laws, etc that keep it as harmless as possible.

Fight in school gets you detention or kicked out.

Beating up a boy in parking lot gets you in jail for a few days.

Posting a nude photo of a teenage girl get you in jail for a LONG TIME.

That doesn't means princesses should file lawsuit if someone throw erasers at her, but there are things that are not reversible with serious damage that should be prevented.

 

[Shannow]

Originally Posted By: Drew99GT
Here is how you deal with a bully, especially if you must defend yourself from physical assault.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/viral-video/cleveland-bus-punch-736901

The liberal [censored] of society is why bullying is rampant. Kids should be taught that when someone messes with you, you have to defend yourself, because it only gets worse as you grow older.


In spite of this kid being videoed by his friends punching another in the face, and taunting him, the "do-gooders" were all over the "lack of restraint of the big 16 year old versus the skinny 12 year old", and that the skinny kid could have been killed...

 

[demarpaint]

Originally Posted By: chiks
Originally Posted By: demarpaint
I often wonder how people who feel this is a waste of time, effort, and money would feel if God forbid it was their kid? Or those who feel this poor kid deserved it. I'd be willing to bet they'd want swift resolution, and the maximum penalty allowed by law, or worse.


Not me. If it was my kid, I would still ask the same question to the person who harassed her. I do not live by double standards.


So you wouldn't want the person who harassed your kid into suicide punished?

 

[Tempest]

Originally Posted By: Shannow

In spite of this kid being videoed by his friends punching another in the face, and taunting him, the "do-gooders" were all over the "lack of restraint of the big 16 year old versus the skinny 12 year old", and that the skinny kid could have been killed...


Big kid was certainly in the right. As soon as the other kid punched him he was right to defend himself. I'm sure that school officials didn't see it that way.

 

[65cuda]

Considering his comments so far and how he would retaliate against someone I doubt that he is worried about basic human decency. I appears that he believes the parents being friends with their kids will prevent anything like Amanda went through. If he would take the time to look at other reports about what was done he would have found that the parents did try to help. I just hope that he never has to find out that kids don't always tell the parents, even parents that are friends, about what they do or have done until it is too late.

 

[Trajan]

Parents as friend to their kids........

Kind of kills the role they're suppossed to play as parents doesn't it?

 

[Loobed]

Originally Posted By: PandaBear
Originally Posted By: chiks
1. Why was she targeted?


Bullies tend to pick on people who don't fight for themselves, and those with not popular personalities.

The point is, bullies happened, as part of human nature, and to prevent things going too far there are certain rules in schools, laws, etc that keep it as harmless as possible.

Fight in school gets you detention or kicked out.

Beating up a boy in parking lot gets you in jail for a few days.

Posting a nude photo of a teenage girl get you in jail for a LONG TIME.

That doesn't means princesses should file lawsuit if someone throw erasers at her, but there are things that are not reversible with serious damage that should be prevented.



This is why kids bully at school
http://bullyonline.org/schoolbully/school.htm



This is why people bully (at work).
from: http://bullyonline.org/workbully/bully.htm

Quote:
What is bullying?
Bullying is persistent unwelcome behaviour, mostly using unwarranted or invalid criticism, nit-picking, fault-finding, also exclusion, isolation, being singled out and treated differently, being shouted at, humiliated, excessive monitoring, having verbal and written warnings imposed, and much more. In the workplace, bullying usually focuses on distorted or fabricated allegations of underperformance. Click here for definitions of workplace bullying.

Why do people bully?
The purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy. Bullying has nothing to do with managing etc; good managers manage, bad managers bully. Management is managing; bullying is not managing. Therefore, anyone who chooses to bully is admitting their inadequacy, and the extent to which a person bullies is a measure of their inadequacy. Bullies project their inadequacy on to others:

a) to avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it;
b) to avoid accepting responsibility for their behaviour and the effect it has on others, and,
c) to reduce their fear of being seen for what they are, namely a weak, inadequate and often incompetent individuals, and,
d) to divert attention away from their inadequacy - in an insecure or badly-managed workplace, this is how inadequate, incompetent and aggressive employees keep their jobs.

Bullying is an inefficient way of working, resulting in disenchantment, demoralisation, demotivation, disaffection, and alienation. Bullies run dysfunctional and inefficient organisations; staff turnover and sickness absence are high whilst morale, productivity and profitability are low. Prosperity is illusory and such organizations are a bad long-term investment. Projection and denial are hallmarks of the serial bully.

Bullying is present behind all forms of harassment, discrimination, prejudice, abuse, persecution, conflict and violence. When the bullying has a focus (eg race or gender) it is expressed as racial prejudice or harassment, or sexual discrimination and harassment, and so on. When the bullying lacks a focus (or the bully is aware of the Sex Discrimination Act or the Race Relations Act), it comes out as pure bullying; this is an opportunity to understand the behaviours which underlie almost all reprehensible behavior. I believe bullying is the single most important social issue of today.

 

[OVERKILL]

Originally Posted By: Trajan
Parents as friend to their kids........

Kind of kills the role they're suppossed to play as parents doesn't it?


No, not if properly executed. They have to be parents first, friends second and if it comes down to the line, their ultimate responsibility is that of the parent.

However, parents that take the time to be friends with their kids, IE, deeply involved in their lives, interacting with them at that level, are closer to their kids. At least mine were.

This doesn't mean they lose their roles as figures of authority. Far from it. It simply means that they interact with their kids beyond the basic mom and dad routine and are actively involved in their kids lives.

That's my definition of it anyway

Maybe his is different?

 

[Trajan]

Originally Posted By: OVERK1LL
Originally Posted By: Trajan
Parents as friend to their kids........

Kind of kills the role they're suppossed to play as parents doesn't it?


No, not if properly executed. They have to be parents first, friends second and if it comes down to the line, their ultimate responsibility is that of the parent.


That's the key. Properly executed. But when I was a kid, your parents were your parents. Sure, they got involved and all, but not as your friends. Different times.

 

[chiks]

Originally Posted By: Garak
Originally Posted By: chiks
Here is another fact. All you sympathizers are blind, unable to even accept the alternative that Amanda "might" have called this harassment upon herself.


I don't want to get too deeply into this, but you do have a point, only if it is "half" the point. We tend to forget that kids can take things differently than adults would, and differently than how other kids do. What might have bugged this girl might be laughed off by other kids. Kids also, at least on occasion, are known to do irrational things for irrational reasons. When I was younger, I got bullied, but I survived. I also saw people get bullied far, far more than me, and I'm surprised they didn't act out in some fashion.

We also must not forget that kids can suffer mental illness, too. Suicide isn't the answer, but for those in that position, it might be all they see.

If she "called this harassment upon herself," how would we react if she went on a shooting rampage instead? Or if she didn't call this harassment down upon herself, how would we react if she did that?

Where I think it's justifiable to blindly sympathize is that it's extremely unfortunate that someone this young was so troubled, regardless of the cause.


Agreed. 100%

 

[chiks]

Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
Originally Posted By: chiks

But I will say this. If a woman [censored] me off real bad (as in makes my life [censored]), and I have nude pictures of her, I will post them online and harass her just like this. Revenge is sweet. Even sweeter when she does not know what hit her.


That's a seriously sick comment, probably the worst I've ever seen on BITOG. Anyone who entertains retaliation in that sort of manner needs professional mental and emotional help.


I know how it sounds. But this is ONLY if that woman had ruined my life. I am not the one to go after somebody because she refused a date or some such silly reason.

It is like saying to contemplate killing OBL needs professional mental and emotional help. Really?

 

[chiks]

Originally Posted By: 01rangerxl
Originally Posted By: Drew99GT
At one of the last jobs I had, this overweight [censored] kept giving me [censored] and she said to me one day in front of a bunch of people "Andrew, I bet you've never had to call someone to bail you out of jail". Basically insinuating I'm a square and not tough or something, so I said right back to her "I bet you've had to call someone to pick you up from a buffet". She ran out and started crying. Sorry, no sympathy from me.



That is awesome!

ROFL....darn it ...that is good.

 

[65cuda]

To me after reading chiks posts it struck me that he always seemed to want to find fault with what she might have done and since she did something that made someone else mad they could bully her.

Bullying of this extent would not have come if this picture did not even happen. Do you get that?
To that point, I believe Amanda bullied somebody and he got back to her and shut her up.

Kind of like when he said:

But I will say this. If a woman [censored] me off real bad (as in makes my life [censored]), and I have nude pictures of her, I will post them online and harass her just like this. Revenge is sweet. Even sweeter when she does not know what hit her.

I never really see where he says how wrong the others were in bullying. It always seems to be kind of a attempt to put the blame back on her. As a victim of bullying he doesn't seem to have learned very much especially in todays digital age. To me his comments are teaching his kids to bully someone back as long as you can justify it.

 

[chiks]

Originally Posted By: PandaBear
Originally Posted By: chiks
1. Why was she targeted?


Bullies tend to pick on people who don't fight for themselves, and those with not popular personalities.

The point is, bullies happened, as part of human nature, and to prevent things going too far there are certain rules in schools, laws, etc that keep it as harmless as possible.

Fight in school gets you detention or kicked out.

Beating up a boy in parking lot gets you in jail for a few days.

Posting a nude photo of a teenage girl get you in jail for a LONG TIME.

That doesn't means princesses should file lawsuit if someone throw erasers at her, but there are things that are not reversible with serious damage that should be prevented.


My common sense tells me this was not bullying. She was targeted for revenge.
Bullies go after people who are in their sight, and harass them for no apparent reason other than to show off how powerful they are in front of the school/friends. Not chase them all over the world.

 

[chiks]

Originally Posted By: demarpaint
Originally Posted By: chiks
Originally Posted By: demarpaint
I often wonder how people who feel this is a waste of time, effort, and money would feel if God forbid it was their kid? Or those who feel this poor kid deserved it. I'd be willing to bet they'd want swift resolution, and the maximum penalty allowed by law, or worse.


Not me. If it was my kid, I would still ask the same question to the person who harassed her. I do not live by double standards.


So you wouldn't want the person who harassed your kid into suicide punished?


I would. But I still would want to know the complete story. I am not blindly going to ask for the person to be hanged.

 

[chiks]

Originally Posted By: Trajan
Parents as friend to their kids........

Kind of kills the role they're suppossed to play as parents doesn't it?


Yea it does. Doesn't it.

No wonder your kids want to run away and live on their own the moment they turn 16.

 

[chiks]

Originally Posted By: OVERK1LL
Originally Posted By: Trajan
Parents as friend to their kids........

Kind of kills the role they're suppossed to play as parents doesn't it?


No, not if properly executed. They have to be parents first, friends second and if it comes down to the line, their ultimate responsibility is that of the parent.

However, parents that take the time to be friends with their kids, IE, deeply involved in their lives, interacting with them at that level, are closer to their kids. At least mine were.

This doesn't mean they lose their roles as figures of authority. Far from it. It simply means that they interact with their kids beyond the basic mom and dad routine and are actively involved in their kids lives.

That's my definition of it anyway

Maybe his is different?


I am with you Overkill. 100%

 

[chiks]

Originally Posted By: 65cuda
To me after reading chiks posts it struck me that he always seemed to want to find fault with what she might have done and since she did something that made someone else mad they could bully her.

Bullying of this extent would not have come if this picture did not even happen. Do you get that?
To that point, I believe Amanda bullied somebody and he got back to her and shut her up.

Kind of like when he said:

But I will say this. If a woman [censored] me off real bad (as in makes my life [censored]), and I have nude pictures of her, I will post them online and harass her just like this. Revenge is sweet. Even sweeter when she does not know what hit her.

I never really see where he says how wrong the others were in bullying. It always seems to be kind of a attempt to put the blame back on her. As a victim of bullying he doesn't seem to have learned very much especially in todays digital age.

To me his comments are teaching his kids to bully someone back as long as you can justify it.


I am trying to get people to post more than just sympathies.

To me, I am not for bullying. Never have bullied anyone in life. Never got in the sights of any bully. BUT I am prepared to hit back if that is the only option. But I have many many options that I have used over my lifetime.

This is like saying USA will release nuclear weapons at the first chance it gets. That is not how it works. It is the very last resort.

 

[demarpaint]

Originally Posted By: Tempest
Originally Posted By: Shannow

In spite of this kid being videoed by his friends punching another in the face, and taunting him, the "do-gooders" were all over the "lack of restraint of the big 16 year old versus the skinny 12 year old", and that the skinny kid could have been killed...


Big kid was certainly in the right. As soon as the other kid punched him he was right to defend himself. I'm sure that school officials didn't see it that way.


You're right the school officials will never see it that way. The only mistake the bigger kid made was not kicking the smaller kid when he was getting up. He displayed better self control than I would have.

I made more than one trip up to the school for my son defending himself, with witnesses present. I explained to the Principal that my son was taught to defend himself if attacked, and if he was attacked again he would defend himself again, suspension or not. He was suspended for a few days twice for defending himself, and he had my blessings both times. Both times the bully got the short end of the stick. Sorry for drifting OT, that video brought back memories.